General Music Chat

I understand the situation, but fail to see the problem--based on what you say, anyway. After all, you concede this fellow has better equipment, is willing to banter at gigs (without dominating) and, most telling...

My question is - when they DO harmonize we sound good 80% of the time - so should I just allow it? Should we just allow what sounds best despite the fact I never asked for it?

If you sound better--isn't that the main goal?--80 percent of the time, rather than worrying about his growing role and thinking of ways to limit his influence, I'd be looking for ways to improve that other 20 percent. Heck, most bands would kill to add harmonies that make them sound better 80 percent of the time. Why would you want to suppress that?

Also - totally objectively - I have a better stronger voice, a definite lead vocal voice, that can really get the rock n roll sound - sometimes when they harmonize in the parts I normally belt out - it actually brings down my vocal power/resonance/vibrato coming out of the speakers.

C'mon--it's virtually impossible to be totally objective when discussing your own abilities--although you might be right (dunno, haven't heard you). Part of what you describe could simply be the mix. If you want real objectivity, do what RG suggests and ask for everyone's input. If you really do have the best, strongest voice, that will come out. If it turns out he sounds better on certain tunes (by consensus), live w/ it. Share the wealth. Best sound wins.

It sounds like your real concern is that this fellow is becoming more instrumental/significant within the band...perhaps at your expense. Rather than worrying about how to limit his influence, work toward harnessing it and continuing to improve your sound. After all, he has far more experience than you, and by your own admission, you do sound better w/ him. I'd stop worrying about the potential negatives and embrace the obvious positives. But that's just how I would approach it.

It sounds more like you might be a bit insecure about your place in the band. No matter who else is in the band, if they can play you just make it work. Everyone you ever play with will have some kind of quirk that drives you nuts eventually. If they don't then it's you who is driving them crazy.

Best suggestions are

1. Always show up as the most prepared version of yourself possible. Translation: practice, practice, practice until you're sick and then practice practice practice some more. Once you're playing 3 or 4 days a week you can slow down on practice....a little.

2. If you can't play an instrument, you ought to find time to learn a small part on one at least. A harmonica, a tambourine, a kazoo. Not that hard to whip out a triangle or something once a set. Practice playing along with the record until you are in perfect synch from start to finish every time. Then, and only then, find another part outside the lines. Then another.

3. Record every rehearsal and fix every mistake you hear.

4. Don't sleep with the drummer's girlfriend. The bass player will get jealous and quit.

I feel I earned the right to my solo vocals having spent hundreds of hours on our songs. This person has only just joined,

Life ain't fair.

Seems like you're more concerned about retaining some kind of authority than making better music?

No band is permanent, so make the best of where you are right now and don't let band egos kill a good thing.

The other cat seems to have more experience. Why not leverage that? Ask him for help putting together harmonies. Don't leave it to luck.

Like most of us, he'll be glad to have some one fronting but do not EVER let yourself go onstage feeling insecure or negative - it really sucks the life out of your performance.

Good luck
Talbot

As anyone will tell you. If you can't live with it leave it. It isn't worth the frustration and the building hostilities.

sooner or later a new group will settle in here for casual conversation.. fresh meat

Live with it brother. You're relatively new at the game. This is a step up, even if a pain in the ass at times. Play something that really comes across at a decent sized gig and all this stuff will blow right out your rear view mirror.

Talbot