"Six Lessons I Learned From The Iraq War"
by four-term President George W. Obama
1. Consulting the tax cattle.. erm.. public.. before launching wars is totally unnecessary. The public just needs a few year's worth of mainstream news media programming to get them on-board.
2. The evildoer dictator-worshiping protesters will mostly originate from the "opposing" political faction. For example, the D's got their panties in a bunch when I launched the invasion of Iraq, but had no problem with me dropping bombs on Tripoli some years later when I switched that R next to my name with a D.
3. The United Nations and international systems of checks and balances are the longest running joke here in Washington and we've learned not to take any of that nonsense too seriously.
4. A stagnant economy and a rotting education system ensures a constant supply of fresh volunteer recruits to fight and die for the interests of corporations and global hegemony... did I say corporations and global hegemony? What I meant of course was freedom and democracy.
5. "War crimes" and "terrorism" are extremely subjective terms. Polluting an entire city with depleted uranium and subsequently causing mass-birth defects and widespread cancer is humanitarian and kind, not a war crime, and definitely not terrorism!
6. Unlike you, citizen, I can kill 100,000 innocent people and not only get away with it, but get away with it while still being widely celebrated and honored as a hero.