General Music Chat

We had no singer at rehearsal tonight.
. . . again . . .
Seems our female vocalist thinks she can just skip rehearsal whenever she wants, but still perform with us.
I guess she thinks she's special.
But - no rehearsals = a sloppy performance.
Gotta keep that one rehearsal night open; too many excuses and it becomes a trend . . .
She needs the rehearsal, and a lot more than we do.
I'm a little pissed-off at her. Can you tell?
For every rehearsal she skipped - I cancelled her from a performance. I don't know if she's made the connection, yet.
I'm not going to bother spelling it out for her.
She's not going to embarass me with a bad performance.
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Hey, the guys playing with me aren't too shabby at all; the three of us together have over 90 years of combined experience.
We're not the kinds of musicians to put up with someone who thinks she's special . . .
Anyway -
I had planned on playing about 25 original songs, with her singing lead tonight.
But I have plenty of other original songs, instrumentals, so we were able to skip ALL of the songs she sings, and still play for hours.
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Seems like the Alan Bradley Group is becoming an instrumental group.
And - you know what?
It was GREAT!
It was a whole new musical environment, all new sounds.
And it sounded pretty cool.
And, hey, we guys still have songs we can sing.
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No one in a band should assume their position is guaranteed..
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If she expects to perform with a band - but skip the rehearsals - she is in the wrong band.
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But, the guys commented that they were really enjoying themselves with the new instrumentals; that it was an instructive and mind-expanding experience.
Hey, that's what I like to hear, and - in all truth - the new songs are pretty cool . . . easy to get lost in them; we all seemed to be right at home in our element.
We were playing the kinds of songs that you don’t want to end - know what I mean?
She can skip as many rehearsals as she wants!
And - she can skip the performances, as well.

There is no "I" in band.

There is no "I" in band.

But there is one in Prima Donna.
Good on you, Alan. I love well played instrumentals especially when the band is enjoying themselves doing them.

Once again I'm left playing devils advocate.
(seems to be my lot in life) LOL

OK, Alan. I get what your saying.

But.......................................

Did you tell her? Or just us?

What was her response?

Sorry, vocalists are NOT like the rest of us grunts. They do not move equipment, are the last ones to show up for rehearsal and the first to leave, if they even make it. I know we've discussed this before but you will indeed be an instrumental band with far fewer options for gigs if you don't get over this. The sooner you realize that you are just a sideman and the vocalist is the king/queen of the band the happier you will be.

Alan, I agree with you up to a point, but a talking to is in order and would be the best way to go. Cutting her from performances might be just, and deserved, and I don't disagree with you doing that, but not telling her what the situation is seems wrong to me. People in bands not talking is one of the biggest problems I've seen, and I've seen it ruin plenty bands.

Go talk to the girl, don't expect her to put two and two together, she might just come up with six...Tell her WHY she's been cut from the gigs, maybe she'll decide to make it to practice.

Communication is a good thing.

Sorry, vocalists are NOT like the rest of us grunts. They do not move equipment, are the last ones to show up for rehearsal and the first to leave, if they even make it. I know we've discussed this before but you will indeed be an instrumental band with far fewer options for gigs if you don't get over this. The sooner you realize that you are just a sideman and the vocalist is the king/queen of the band the happier you will be.

My vocalist moves gear. She does it of her own accord, because she's in a BAND, and she wants to be a team player.

I think you're right Jimmy - but only IF you're dealing with a solo artist.

In a BAND the vocalist is not an elite member. Yes - they're the front-man (woman) and they are what the masses focus on. But they are a BAND member. It's a team effort. The band doesn't exist without everyone contributing.

There simply is no excuse for allowing your vocalist to cultivate a Prima Donna attitude.

What should be and what is are usually two different things. In my 30 years of playing in bands I can only think of one vocalist who was truly a band member. The rest were as I described. Perhaps it is my fault for allowing it but it's easier to just let them be prima donnas than cause disharmony.

any bandmate that skips practices is a problem. I don't see why this person being a singer makes one bit of difference. If I won't allow a bassist or drummer to get away with it, why would I give the singer any extra slack?

In my experience, if you let someone walk over you once, expect to be a doormat the rest of your life. You know, give an inch, take a mile sorta crap.

Stop it while you can, RM. It will only get worse.

I was in a blues band for about 2 months. They had this washboard player. (Yeah, I know - a WASHBOARD in a blues band? I didn't get it, either!) She showed up, plugged in her washboard, played, drank & hung out, & then simply left. (Yeah, I know - an ELECTRIC washboard?)

I couldn't stand it for more than 2 months. She was also lousy as a washboard player. I think the band leader thought it was just too kitchy not to have her in the band, & pay her a cut. She sang b/u on two songs, & I could never even hear her in the monitors cuz she had no projection whatsoever, & that damned scritchetty scratchetty clicketty clacketty washboard cut through everything in the mix. My god it was awful! (I often made the band leader pay me out of pocket cuz I wouldn't take less than $100 for a gig. It still wasn't worth it, though!)

After I left, I heard her on a local radio talk show, speaking of HER band. All I could do was laugh.

When I was a front man, way back in '91, I ALWAYS helped lug equipment. It's just the right thing to do.

I won't work long with ppl who don't contribute to the band's needs. That was yet another reason I wanted that damned drunken guitarist out of the band. He didn't tune, he had no tone, he occasionally would play in the wrong key, he didn't help carry stuff, he got drunk, he showed up late, he sometimes didn't even show up, & I hated that guy with every fiber of my being because of it all. I still can't believe I worked with him for so long. Sometimes I was a sap, but I make it clear these days that I won't put up with much like that anymore.

Boy am I glad he's gone!

Bloody nora RM.
Are you sure your singer doesn't come on here and read sometimes? Could be you'll be looking for a new singer by this evening in any case.

Gee nearly Christmas mate,

I guess I'm using this forum as a sounding board for my thoughts.
> She's is known to drift out of key, and has been told so many a time..
> She doesn't help with equipment.
> For rehearsals - she continually tells me she'll be there on time; but always shows up 30min or 45min, late. I'm tired of being lied to.
> . . . with us for 9 months before even buying a microphone; no amp.
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Right after skipping rehearsal (with no explanation), she emailed me asking if she could perform with me at a local monthly event. Some nerve . . .
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Guys, she makes it hard to talk with her; she acts like she's always right, and whatever anyone else says is wrong. She's used to having her way with men (got a big chest and a pretty smile), but that doesn't fly with me.
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When I've tried discussing things as an adult, she loses her temper and tries to manipulate me with emotion.
Try to tell her anything, and she takes it as a personal affront and gets angry, and she will NOT back down an inch.
She draws a line: this is what she believes, and so that is what YOU must also believe.
How do you talk with someone like that?

Hey, I already have enough problems . . .
My #1 goal in music is to enjoy the music; but it's not as fun, anymore.
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The guys want to keep her (probably because she's easy on the eyes, and she can sing 15 of my originals). But we sound good without her.
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If someone REALLY loves music, then they will show up for rehearsals, on time, without being told. . . . even if there's no audience to watch the performance.
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If I have to continually tell someone to show at rehearsal on time - then they obviously have not taken rehearsal as seriously as the rest of the band.
With a poorly-trained voice and that attitude, that person will never make it big; never. I want to work with someone who is capable of making it to the top; not someone who will hold me back.
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If she'd talk as an adult, I could reason with her, but if she continues skipping rehearsals, then that only creates an opening for another singer.
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Now I'm at the point where I just want to avoid any more aggravation.
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Am I being cold?

I have a word I reserve for women like her.

Twit

And I for one can live without them.


Amen!

What should be and what is are usually two different things. In my 30 years of playing in bands I can only think of one vocalist who was truly a band member. The rest were as I described. Perhaps it is my fault for allowing it but it's easier to just let them be prima donnas than cause disharmony.

Im in your camp Jimmy.
Singers are what they are.
If they have that special sound or special talent that you need, then just... work around them.

If they are good, do you know why they get to be special? Because they are.
Imagine causing strife and refusing to work with Rober Plant because he thought he was so special and didnt do enough 'band work' for ya.

I dont know his history.
But I doubt if Plant had a habit of skipping rehearsals.
Sure, some of the "big name" performers a well known for their poor work and life ethic, ie Jim Morroson et al.
Only because it gets them noticed and talked about.
Funny how we "celebrate" the majority of them post mortum.
Look at any of the long term popular acts.
Hard work is a commonality.
I doubt there are more than a handfull of talents in the world worthy of tolerating a poor work ethic from.
And if Alan's description of her work rings true. She aint one of em.