Well said...I note that it's a sliding scale tax, too - the sicker you are, the more you pay!
Meanwhile, they keep inventing new diseases - restless leg syndrome? LMAO & gimme a break! "Long eyelash deficiency?"
I love how these drug commercials have to spend so much time warning you of their side effects that they don't even have time to tell you what the hell the drug is FOR!
Perhaps your anti-depressant isn't working hard enough, & now you feel the blahs instead of merely depressed, so you should supplement your drugs with this new one that'll triple your nipple size, grow hair on the soles of your feet, put scales on your retinas, give you the jimmy-legs, make our ears bigger, erase your blood pressure, make your breath smell like cheese, give you hammer-toes & fingers, turn your hair purple, & give you the appearance of a leper...but you'll FEEL GREAT! DO call your doctor if you get an erection lasting more than 4 hours! I'm sure he'd like to hear about it. This isn't for pregnant or nursing women, cuz it'll turn breast milk sour & raise the alcohol content. Children using this medication can become sexually active with their bicycles. Uncontrollable giggling has occured in our control group when they observed the side effects of this drug. Loofah lip syndrome can occur. If you suddenly smell bananas, you should turn yourself in to the authorities immediately, as this is a sign that you are becoming a poisonous plant. Take care when driving, because this can affect your judgement & give you hallucinations, usually involving giant chimpanzees. Changes in puberty can occur for ppl over 50. Patients who smoke should not, as they may spontaneously combust if they are near an open flame. See your doctor if you see a 20 foot stink bug, because this can be a sign that you are devolving into a puddle of premordial slime. Shuddering lips & stuttering feet have been observed by some who take this drug, & if you should feel chilly, please put on a sweater. Your internal organs can become fused and hard as cement, so you should see your doctor regularly, to keep from becoming hard-hearted. Some patients develop 2 left feet, irritable bowels, and offensive tastes in clothing. Droopy ears, poppy eyes, cracked knuckles, and hefty lungs have been reported by some patients. A few patients have reported having REALLY opposing thumbs. In other patients, the skull takes on the dimensions of a punch bowl, so if your significant other starts to fill your head with corn chips, you should stop taking this drug immediately, & see your doctor for one of our other fine products.
SMILE - it's the safest way to spread your cheeks!
