Rats:
LMAO! (all three of me)
Z:
Backatcha brother. And hopefully the songs won't disappoint. After this build-up and a 10 Day countdown on my site, I better put something decent up, huh? I'll be toast if not. (Oops, I made myself nervous. LOL)
J-H:
I need to look forgiveness up in the dictionary and get clarity. I believe that I "forgive" almost the instant someone does something to me. All my life, people have said that I must have zero Karma debt, or similar things, because I always do for others, and I am not vengeful.
Yet, I believe forgiving and "forgetting" are different things. You don't have to "forget" to forgive. I would compare this reality, to someone breaking my arm on purpose. I may "forgive" the assault, but I would not forget quickly, when the pain is an ever-present reminder. You can forgive, but getting over the pain... healing, may take time. And this is natural, not any kind of deficiency. Healing takes time.
But here is a small dilemna: Resentment
Does resentment mean I have not forgiven? I need to meditate on that one. Part of me says yes, but another part says no.
That's a tough call.
You can resent that someone did something harmful and unnecessary, and look upon them differently. This is not wrong in itself. They have shown themselves to be diferent than you first trusted them to be. A Koala bear is cute and cuddly, until it bites you. Then you are cautious after that.
But... you wouldn't "resent" the bear, would you? It was your own shortsightedness that was partially at fault. But then, if resentment is so entrenched that it becomes hatred, then it only serves to hold you back, and it could make you unnecessarily suspicious of completely trustworthy individuals. This then becomes a personal fault, because it has altered your own character. That's not good.
I feel I do forgive, because I feel sorry for someone like that, who doesn't realize what they forsook, and it may very well be the regret of his life later, if I were to become successful on a large scale. On the otherhand, I do think someone should endure the results of their actions. It is often the best teacher. Cause and effect. I did "this" and "that" was the result... hmm... I better not do "this" again. I find that I have some elements of both feelings. But rather than "vengeance" I am feeling "justice" instead, that there should be some form of justice in situations such as these, to learn from and be a deterent. But I also feel pain when I imagine the future. If I were to become very successful, I can imagine the pain he would feel, realizing that he could have shared in that, and I don't desire him to be crushed like that.
It's a conundrum.
I suspect a great deal of nuance and balance is the answer. Too much in one direction leads to personal failings (hatred, lack of trust), but too much in the other leads to another set of problems (not being wiser next time, setting yourself up for more abuse, being delusional even: In acting as if there was no real gravity or harm to the grievous act, when there was)
Maybe the path I already take is the right one after all?
Forgive, but don't forget so quickly.
I suspect that this is the right course, and it seems to maintain the balance I believe is required.
Of course, when I imagine him feeling pain in the future, the requirement is his own self-admission that he made the mistake. But all too often, rather than this rehabilitation, the perpertator often just hates the victim more, continuing to blame them, rather than themselves.
It's entirely possible he would just live his entire life, hating and blaming me, rather than learning anything from the experience.
Sad, but many people are like this.
