Hello Sanshouheil,
We are all effected so differently by this when it happens, yet in many ways we go through much that is the same... the trouble is dealing with something you have had in most cases no similar practice for.
My mum went to cancer four years ago, after 26 years fighting a type that generally takes people quite quickly.
She laughed and scoffed at it right till the final month or two when it really started to get her down.
In the final weeks our priority was to try to keep some quality of life going for her after an active life spent going everywhere and doing everything you can imagine.
Mum was still out in my garden one rather chilly spring evening, and working on a knitted bed quilt for my daughter who was then six months old; "come in Mum it's getting cold out here!" I called to her, and her response was: "Just need to finish this bit... I may not get many more chances".
It still chokes me a bit now remembering her words, and seeing her putting her final days and energy into something to leave for her new granddaughter.
It leaves me clinging onto my dad a bit now, though he is older than Mum being 82; but he's not wasting time waiting for the innevitable... he has got a young girlfriend, well, 65!
With Mum I kept waiting for the right time to say things... don't do that! Say it while he's still there! I don't mean the sloppy stuff; tell his where he might have made the effort to take you... or something that pissed you off... it gets things out and aired.
Atheists aren't that good at prayers, but Sister Stella (in the new song on my profile) at the priory is very good, and will be very happy to send prayers from her and her Sisters I am certain.
Mark D Phillips...................