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Remind me to never eat over at any of your homes

I like to stick M-80s in my turkey and cook 'em that way.

Clean-up must be a b#@!h!

It's better than carving.. just pick which pieces you want off the wall..

ASPCA.COM
Oh I forgot they are busy investigating the cat screaming sounds at my place every nite.

Actually, I am a very good cook, so I'm told. My spaghetti sauce has been described as "indescribable."

I make hot sauce every year, & give it away at Xmas. Ppl have taken to making interesting labels for it. One is called "Phil's Revenge," & another one just has that symbol for radiation hazardous waste. It IS pretty hot, but it also has flavor. Last year I made a papaya based hot sauce. I usually use carrot juice for it, but the papaya was really good. Of course you can't taste the carrots or papaya, cuz of the scoth bonnets, peruvian blacks, bolivian rainbows, & habaneras, but I like it.

For some reason, though, whenever I make a soup, it turns into a stew cuz I always go overboard putting stuff in it.

I made chicken tonite.

I make hot sauce every year, & give it away at Xmas. Ppl have taken to making interesting labels for it. One is called "Phil's Revenge," & another one just has that symbol for radiation hazardous waste. It IS pretty hot, but it also has flavor. Last year I made a papaya based hot sauce. I usually use carrot juice for it, but the papaya was really good. Of course you can't taste the carrots or papaya, cuz of the scoth bonnets, peruvian blacks, bolivian rainbows, & habaneras, but I like it.

Can you send me some of the papaya fire?
?
'habaneras' and scotch bonnets are the good stuff.

Beercan Chicken is just dandy!

scoth bonnets, peruvian blacks, bolivian rainbows

Sounds like a recipe for hallucinigenics.

Kind of reminds me of a true story I heard a while back. This little old grandma washed her toy poodle in the kitchen sink and then put the dog in the microwave to dry it off. The dog literally exploded and the grandma had a heart attack and died. A word of advice, you don't want your turkey to explode, it might be dangerous to old people in the room. Later...

sounds like something the boys who do "should I microwave this" shouldn't look into on you tube hahahahahaha

I would be willing to wager that this is an urban legend.

Actually it's NOT an urban legend. Years ago I roomed with a nurse and she told me the story. She worked in the emergency room of a hospital. She told another story that was equally incredible. An old couple were driving their motorized travel trailer down the highway. The old man was driving and told his wife to take the wheel, he was going to use the bathroom. A minute later the wife was knocking on the door of the bathroom and the husband asked "Who's driving?" The wife said it was on cruise control. Next thing they were in the emergency room. I guess the old lady thought cruise control meant auto pilot. Dumbass.

Yeah I heard another version of that story, the lady put the RV on cruise control and went into the back kitchen to make a sandwich for lunch... the next stop was the emergency room..

MY BEST HOLIDAY RECIPE!
Christmas chicken

pre-heat oven to 400
while oven heats go to Kroger and buy a package of frozen chicken nuggets
put in pan and heat
enjoy!
(for crispier nuggets skip oven segment)

*(;>)-~

My best recipe:
Forget the turkey/ chicken, go to outback and have steak, lobster, baked potato and jack daniels. (Don't forget to take your better-half or he'll/ she'll be pissed) enjoy!