General Music Chat

You know, I've done everything possible to find musicians to form a band with. I have ran ads in the local newspapers, ran ads on the internet, and put up flyers all over in hopes of finding what I am looking for. This has been really aggravating. From what I have seen, there's a lot of you who have come on here and haven't really found what you've been looking for. I have found musicians and bands, but when they find out that I am female, they lose interest. Why? Around here, we don't have a lot of bands with females as the lead singers and the ones that we do have actually do better than those with male singers. It's a well known fact, you will find more males in bars, so if you put a female singer on the stage who has the look, the sound and the stage presence, what do you think the outcome is going to be? Anyway, I'm just shooting off at the mouth and thought you guys might give me some feedback. Let me know what you all think. Take care!

Heather Maxwell

Hi Heather,
Things might be different where you are, I don't know . . .
.
But if you lived in Central CT, you would have the bands lined up at your front door; you could sell tickets for interviews.
There is always an opening for female voclists in the local ads, several styles . . .

Be patient, and keep practicing.
Make contact with other singers; take phone numbers.
Also, remember, bands may interview several vocalists for a position.
You want to stand head and shoulders above them . . . and other singers may have 10 years experience on you.
.
While you're waiting for your next chance:
- learn a new song
- try to sing one note higher than ever before
- try to boost the volume of your lower notes
- watch female singers. What do they do on stage that may be different?
- record two more songs. . . What? You don't have ANY? Look into it
- learn to sing a style you never sang ever
- learn a few cover songs traditionally sung by men
- make practice HARDER; turn on a radio, and a TV. Distract yourself beyond belief . . . . Now try practice . . .
.
Keep practicing.
When you chance comes, you'll be the obvious #1 choice.
Best wishes.
Alan

Thanks so much for replying. You really know your stuff. I will definitely take your advice, practicing and I will hold my head up high. I know something will come along. Good things are worth waiting for. Thanks again.

There's another exercise you might want to try.
It'll sound funny, but, remember - it's just an exercise.
Try singing without any lilting at all.
Sing a song, and hit the notes without sliding up into them, or sliding down into them.
If you do it right, it should sound funny - but - it's not for the public to hear; it's just personal practice.
Try hitting notes immediately, right on the money: (bang!) instantly perfect, with no corrections at all.
It's HARD.
. . . remember, just an exercise . . . .

Several styles of music REQUIRE a certain degree of 'sirening,'. . . most noteably Country & Western, Soul, and R & B, for example.
.
It takes a tenth of a second to blink.
Pick a few different songs, and see if you can hit the notes perfectly in less than an eyeblink.
That's FAST, and it's HARD, - real hard . . .
.
But, I've found that ,if you make your practice harder, then real-life performing gets easier.
Might as well, if you're in-between groups . . .

Forgive an old man for his ramblings . . . us older folks do that
.
You've got a nice sounding voice.
You've indulged me this far - go to my profile, and download 'Summer Song.' It's one guitar, and a bass.
I've had a few female vocalists attest to the fact that 'Summer Song' is a hard song to sing. Good.
.
Although there are lyrics for it, I posted it without the vocals. So - no melody. That's good, too; harder.
The harder, the better!
If you can find and sing a melody for this song, then you will have raised yourself one whole pay-grade.
When you succeed (and you will) go back and try 2 different harmonies.
.
Ok, - that's my share of preaching, for the whole year.
Good luck.

Hey Gang,

Good advice Alan but I think the young lady is a victim of a problem that Ive seen over and over for 30yrs...In almost all the local scenes Ive been a part of in 15 states spread out across cultural boundaries, the reasons for NOT having a female in the band are universal...I have alot of exp. working with female vocals and in my world ,its been a mixed bag and can only be judged on an individual basis...Ill be the first to say "Its NOT FAIR"...However,the sterotype that includes fear over emotional invovlement with other members, boyfriend/husband problems,control issues,jealous wives/girlfriends of other members too often can become a reality...When I hear talk around here of hiring a really good female vocal, alot of times Ill hear yeah shes really good BUT......I personally dont buy into any of this as a rule because Ive had some great yrs working with some hard working, dedicated, fair minded, females who had really paid their dues...Im only posting this to shed light on what I have seen and heard over and over and have been a part of unfortunately...Heather, you sound like a young lady who doesnt fit any of this and would be sensitive to any problems that may arise along these lines and would do what ever it took for everyone to get along...Fortunately , this is alot less common when your touring nationally pretty much doing it for a living...Anyway, I think your gonna do well with the right people who are as serious as you are...Hopefully you'll find a couple of old road dawgs who have been there and done that, seen all the drama,into it for the music and not ego....Grab all the theory knowledge ya can now so it will serve you well later on .You'll be respected so much more by your backing musicians...Again , no disrespect was intended for you female vocalists...Just pointing out a reality I wish didnt have to be....If I was in Ga., Id be helpin ya put something together...Keep up the networking...

I wish you yrs of success,

John in WV.

Very well put John. I too have had my share of bands with female vocalists but as you pointed out, there are pros & cons involved.

One of the important pros I noticed was that having a good female
vocalist along with a good male vocalist really opened up the song list.
It gives you an edge over other bands that have only one vocalist and
I found finding gigs were much easier.

As far as the relationship thing goes, I did end up marrying mine !!

It's been great ever since !!

Good luck Heather.

Thank you guys for taking the time to post a reply. I understand very much where you are coming from and I've been turned down the opportunity to join bands based on the fact that I am female. It is crazy. I'm glad that you recognize that I am not doing this to find love or to get "involved" with anyone in that way. The only relationships I want out of this experience are hopefully some great friends, a musical family. I am happily married and the mother of a beautiful 3 year old little girl. I wouldn't trade that for nothing in this world. I want to get a band together because it just makes sense to do what you love to do. My husband supports me and the rest of my family backs me 100%. They all know how important all this is to me. So, yeah it's going to take finding like minded people who are in it for the same reasons I am to make it work. It takes that even if all the band members are male. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks to all of you for shedding some light on my situation. Take care and God Bless!

Heather

Hey Heather,

I'm not as experienced as the rest of these guys, probably not even as experienced as you are, but I have been in my share of bands for the past 3-4 years and a lot of it involved finding people, and finding the right people. I have had a female vocalist in one of the bands before and she brought an incredible element to the band that just made it a really different sound to what the other bands have been playing these days in the mainstream arena. I find that at some music stores they have a "classified" area for bands that are looking for musicians to fill in some spots in their band. I'm actually looking for a vocalist myself (unfortunately I live in Texas and we play hard rock/heavy metal) and it's getting to be a pain in my butt because I can't find anyone. But if you go to the music store, or some local gigs, and things of that nature there's a possibility of finding people. And as the people before me have mentioned a lot of bands don't want female vocalists because of their ego. They want to be seen as THE BAND and not the chick with the band. Unfortunately that's how a lot of society sees bands like that. But lately there have been a couple good bands that have come out with female vocalists (Evanescence, Flyleaf, Fireflight (Christian Rock Band)) and these women are INCREDIBLY good singers. Anyways, sorry to rant, but I wish you the best of luck in your quest to finding a band to play with. May great opportunities come your way.

-Hans Bobermin
Drummer for Shovelhed

Thanks for the word of incouragement. I actually got good news. I walked into a local bar here in my hometown, met the guy who owned the bar and found out he plays in a band. If that wasn't lucky enough, him as well as another player are looking to get out of their current band and join with someone who wants to go further with their music. They are interested in working something out with me. Pretty cool and kind of ironic. Happy Happy Happy! THanks so much to all of you for your comments and feedback. I appreciate it! Take care and good luck with everything.

Heather - I'm sure I speak for a lot of people when I say;
"You seem like a good kid - I'm happy for you!"
I think you've got the right attitude.
And, many times (drum roll . . .): "It's often attitude over apptitude, - that will determine your eventual altitude."
Best wishes.

H -
If your putting together YOUR band to do YOUR material, be a pro about it. Be well rehearsed on your end and be able to let musicians know what you want to hear, where your heads at musically and what your expecting to hear from them. Be able to give them material to rehearse before auditions. This usually starts when you and one other musician 'click' and then find more musicians as you move along. Be honest with yourself and each other; How good am I? Would Average Joe like to hear what I sing, pay to hear me play, or am I foolin myself? If I am foolin myself, I OWE it to myself to get better. Maybe change my material choices.
If you're joining an established band, get thier material down pat, work on your chops until you've established yourself within the band and after you all are working as a team and a tight unit, you'll have more influence on the bands musical direction later. Google 'The Killer Flamingos' out of Detroit. They were established before thier girl lead singer joined them. It's a cool story in thier bio. They got a respectable CD out now, too.
But I tell you this; I've gone through months of rehearsing with band after band, a week or two with each one. Lots of bands establish simply because 2 or 3 musicians happen to like and idolize the same band. I'm older now since I first did that, but musicians that were way above me didn't want to waste thier time waiting for me to catch up. And it's frustrating when you can play on a pro level and your music still sounds like a bunch of guys (or girls) who went to Kmart and thought it would be neat to be a rockstar so they bought the blue-light special guitar in the toy department. Nowadays it seems to be me. Most the bands I've auditioned and played with for a few weeks, there might be one musician who is a 'work-worthy' musician but most are dreamers who, rather than learn thier material on thier own time, seem to think it ok to try to learn it during our rehearsal time (or 'lets-play-rockstar' hour). Today, same story in reverse; I'd rather not waste my time. I've walked away from 3 projects the last 3 mos.. You should like and idolize the musicians you are playing with, otherwise your just riding someone else's pipe dream. I wrote this with my bass in hand rehearsing on MY time.
As for cross-gendering; I'm currently looking to get into a girl-fronted band or establish with a girl frontman. I find it a plus because I think subconciously, I seemed to be more motivated to 'perform' in her presence. Like when I was a kid and my or my bandmates' girlfriend would come to rehearsals.
Do, don't Dream, Heather. Go ahead and let them 'perform' for you and you do your part in perfecting your own performance.

Stax

Wow! I understand where all of you are coming from and I appreciate all the info and encouragement. I may have gotten lucky and I may be replacing a female in an existing group. I went to hear them play tonight and they were awesome, but the female is older and just doesn't have the stage presence and all. There was just something missing, you know. It's pretty cool though, because all of the players are older and married and I've gotten to know all of them. THey know I'm in it for the music and to go as far as I can go, and that makes all the difference, because they are in it for the same reason. Anyway, it will all work out. THanks again to all of you for your feedback. It means the world to me. Take care and God BLess!