General Music Chat

El 'Peno, where in the hell were you when all of this started? LOL

Glad you stopped in again to set us straight, anyway.

See...this is why I don't work with special needs ppl...I'm not very good at it, & can't seem to recognize their problems or their needs.

He sure came across like a regular guy without a clue, or someone pulling my leg.

El 'Peno, where in the hell were you when all of this started? LOL

Glad you stopped in again to set us straight, anyway.

See...this is why I don't work with special needs ppl...I'm not very good at it, & can't seem to recognize their problems or their needs.

He sure came across like a regular guy without a clue, or someone pulling my leg.

Sorry Philby, I only check band mix on occasion. This guy is a riot.
Although I try to be as gingerly and as Christian when talking to him as I can be - he is a very hard-head!

Calling him nasty names only inflames his rage more. And some posters can be overly cruel and hurtful, not helpful in my opinion. Although you will tire of his attitude quicky, He truly seeks help and needs a recreation such as a group of guys to jam with (as therapy) and dosn't know how to go about asking for it properly. I'm going to post something that is a lark. If he is still around (and I hope he is) to read it to demonstrate to him how asinine making specific request can be and get. I'm just in that kinda jovial mood and I have the whole day off ! yuupee !!!!!

I hate moments like these - you know - the ones that make you question your overall worth as a human being - or the lack thereof.

I think I'll just shut the f**k up for awhile as I think this over.

Sometimes, unfortunately Cliff ask for it, because posters do not know his situation clearly. It took awhile for me to learn to. It is fascinating many people do try and help him with sound advice, that makes me still feel good for the world as a whole and mankind as not all ass-holes.

Read my musician wanted post please.

Pete,

Thank you for saying all that you said and in the way that you said it. That is all the things I was thinking, but am not good a formulating on paper. You did not SLAM him, but did point out a few home truths, in a clear and concise manner.

Unfortunately, his parents have aided in him becoming the way he is. He does not sound like he ever had to work at ANYTHING, and therefore has no idea how to go about it or even what it is like.

I think this person has given up this website. Too bad he couldn't have taken any of the Good advice that you have put here. But on the bright side, if things don't work out (god forbid) with this band that I am in, there is some great ideas that have come out of this fiasco. I am smart and grateful enough to get some ideas out of here.

Thank you for being a voice of reason in an otherwise unreasonable and sometimes messy forum posting.

Clifford will be back. Bank on it - He thrives on this attention.

Yep. I was moderator on a tech support forum for several years, still am actually but got really burned out after 6 years and took an extended vacation. I saw lots of these, and by not letting my temper get the best of me (not an easy task) and carefully thinking out my responses, I turned several from habitual troublemakers to great contributing members. Lost a few too, but that's to be expected. You can't win 'em all.

I'm expecting ol' cliffie to be back, I guess it remains to be seen if he learns anything.

One thing does make a little more sense now,

He has led a sheltered life with his parents and they had to protect him and still do

I suspected that was the case. I knew attention was the main issue, it's sad but even negative attention is still attention and that's what this type of individual craves. And you're right, "Calling him nasty names only inflames his rage more.". True in every case. That's the one thing I always avoid if at all possible, after seeing hordes of internet trolls descend upon the forums there and attempt to stir up discontent. If they get what they want, attention-negative or otherwise-they only want more...Which is why I tried to keep my cool and respond with logical analysis of specific comments rather than general derogatory remarks. You can't just say "go away little boy", that only incites more of the same.

It does really bother me though when someone tries to play up a handicap for sympathy, I have one and overcame it for the most part, I can play circles around most amateur guitar players with fully functional fingers... (and a lot of working musicians too) I have an uncle with one leg, ampuated 15 years ago due to problems resulting from Polio at age 2, he refuses to use a handicapped parking place, refuses to consider himself handicapped and will outwork most guys half his age (60). I've seen him walk 75 yards to get inside the grocery store in drizzling rain adn even have to lean on me when his leg is really in pain, just because he refuses to be "handicapped"...when he could easily park in the closest handicapped space available...And he's always the first one to make jokes about the one legged old fart...if he has long pants on you can't tell he's walking on a prosthetic. I work with him, I see him climb ladders daily, we'll be hanging sheetrock today, we've built decks, secondary roofs over trailers, done a ton of trim work, rebuilt car engines, you name it. He'll get on a roof quicker than I will...He does have his quirks and insecurities, but one thing he's not is a complainer. 90% of the handicapped individuals I've known could learn a lot from him about dealing with your handicap...instead of running it up a flagpole...

Pete - sounds like your uncle has lessons for most of the non-handicapped ppl I know, myself included.

True.

But don't make it too hard on yourself, it's the natural inclination for most folks to snap back then think, the primary difference for me is that I've been a loner and observer most of my life. I know more about human nature than a lot of folks, simply because I've watched them for many years. I've always been the guy at the party standing in the corner watching everybody, the outsider nobody really knows, while being the one who commands attention onstage just by being the best musician I can be. And I don't care who is in the spotlight, I get my time in, I was front man for years until I got sick of it, now just let me play guitar, somebody else can have the spotlight...

I usually know these people soon as they show up, I've watched and analyzed for many years. I see specific signs every time, and I stop and think it through while most people whip out a scathing response without thinking it over twice. It's a natural response to a threatening situation. I think no less of them, not many people have spent the years studying people I have and recognize an inferiority complex as quickly as I do. It's also a problem for me in physically meeting people, in real life, and one of the reasons I've been a loner for so long.

That in itself is one of my biggest problems trying to find bands. I have very few friends and don't know any of the local musicians at all, or very few, and have a lot of trouble going out and meeting them. I quit trying to make friends in about 3rd greade, we moved a lot and I'd have to leave them before long, so why bother? Now I'm paying for that... Say hi and I have no idea what to say then...same as with women...I'd be out there trying right now, and will before long I hope, but I'm trying to climb out of a huge financial hole right now, $10 gas to go to a club or three and talk to bands is not available until I catch up on bills after a year of 15 hours a week minimum wage...

But I'll keep trying, I'll keep playing, and like my uncle I refuse to let limited use of my left hand keep me from being a good guitar player.

Don't be too hard on yourself, as you can see I'm dealing with some dificult personal issues myself, we all have them. We all have our faults and idiosynchracies. You let them drag you down or you learn and grow from them. Which just depends on what angle you look at them from when you recognize them...

Just remember one thing...

Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill every time.

That and a sense of humor is worth its weight in gold...

I hate moments like these - you know - the ones that make you question your overall worth as a human being - or the lack thereof.

I think I'll just shut the f**k up for awhile as I think this over.

Bah... You work with the information you have at hand.
I might approach how I interact with a crazy person differently, if I know that they are crazy.
But if I don't have that information, and theyre annoying the sh*t out of me and dont get the hint to knock it off... theyre getting punched in the face.

Im not equating autism with insanity -- just an example.
You cant really determine reality through the written word on a forum. you just have to work with the information that is presented.

It's all is irrelivent cercumstance. If you want something you have to stand up for yourself and reach for it.
I dont buy my excuses, nor anyone elses. I have seen the glory that is human effort. I have seen people with huge handicaps stand up and grab the brass ring. Perhaps you can't do it alone, few can. But you cannot expect help untill the project begins. No one is going to walk up and hand you a friend or a band. Work for it or forget it.