General Music Chat

Catchy Song Title huh? LOL

Thought it might be fun to post a LIVE version of this song on my profile page. If you listen to the song all the way through, you'll hear an eruption of people screaming "One More!!! One More!!!!" at the end.

Isn't that what it's all about? I love hearing that, cause you know that you did something for the people, and they responded. You connected with them! I love when that clicks!!!!

It's a fun rockin' song. Listen on my profile page.

Lyrics....


LOVE IS A LOADED GUN © 1993 Craig Maxim

Starin' out the window, quietly the tears flow
Hiding so he won't know, let it all go
You thought about leaving him the first time
Your Momma said "Leave if he gets out of line"
It's easy when you fall in love the first time
You're older now, what's the reason this time


-------- CHORUS --------

You might think you've found someone
Share the news with everyone
Think it's certain 'till it's done
Because love.... is a loaded gun!
-------------------------------

Secretly you're yearnin', Inside the love is burnin'
Knowin' that you want him, He's pulling you in
You think about how you've been through this before
Feels different now, but who really knows for sure
You're holdin' back, Tryin' hard to take it slow
Still, you feel yourself giving him more

(Chorus)
(Break)
(Chorus)

Granted that this kind of music really isn't my thing, sounds like you did a pretty good job.

However, the lyrics just didn't seem to "fit" the song - what the music was emoting. Just one man's opinion.

Thanks for the feedback. What do you feel like the music is expressing? Like your composition BTW.

Thanks for the feedback. What do you feel like the music is expressing? Like your composition BTW.

Well it just didn't say "love song" to me (even though I know you weren't going for the real positive end of love). That expression of rock always sounded more attenuated to agitation, conflict or emotionalo confusion.

But maybe that's what you were going for anyway?

It's definitely not a "love" song. It's a song really about making the same stupid mistakes over and over again. This girl finds the same useless guys "you might think you've found someone", and every time runs to "share the news with everyone" thinking it's really really certain this time "till it's done" because "love is a loaded gun"

Her "mama" has warned her to "leave if he gets out of line"

But "love is a loaded gun" as we all know, that can go off in our faces at any time.

Anyway, the song is kind of an admonition to stop repeating the same stupid mistakes. It's meant to wake women up to stop thinking they are in so in love with these abusive, or even indifferent guys. Women always seem to believe they will bring a guy around. Guess what? He acts like an asshole, because HE IS an asshole. No one can help him but God and himself.

So any ladies out there, don't try to change the guy, cause you won't. Find the guy that has already changed himself, and save yourself the heartache!

Asking for broad opinions can be rough. And it definately takes alot of guts to put a creation of yours out there to be critiqued.

That being said, here is what Jimmy and I thought.

While the words seem to be well written to illustrate the emotional roller coaster of what women looking for love go through, the song may be better suited with its rock format to be sung by. . . .a woman. Perhaps a Melissa Ethridge or even Avril Lavine.

Coming from a man, the song does not sound as authoratative and questions a mans validity to speak on a womans behalf for such a subject.

If this approach is not taken, you definately must re-record the song as its initial recording has a difficult time allowing the message to arrive. The chorus seems to lack any ramped passion without the assistance of solid harmonies to seperate its rythmic tones.

We think its a good song, but better to be sung by a woman who can illustrate a feeling of "I feel ya sister".

Would be interested in hearing some other stylings you have. Make no mistake, this is not a knock on you the artist, just some simple advice on an out of the box approach to realizing the full potential of your work(s).

Hope this post comes across well.

BIG PAPI and JIMMY C
www.bitguys.com
www.ipapentertainment.com

Wow...thumbs up to that opinion !! To me, it's the
type of CONSTRUCTIVE criticism that any music writer
here should appreciate. It was polite yet it pointed out
something that could help it succeed. Very well put.

CIT....maybe a small favor. If possible, listen to an
original on my WWW named "Iyan" and let me know
your opinion on this tune. If you like it, post it here,
if not, I'll give you my email address !!

Take care all and happy holidays

Where did the song go? I went to your profile to listen to it, but there are no media files there for download.

Wow guys,

Great criticisms. Alot to think about. Harmonies maybe. Having a woman sing the song? I didn't think about that for this one, but you may be right. I was raised solo by my mom from 2 years old till about 12 years old, and so without a doubt, I have a feel for women. It's very easy for me to understand what they go through, how they feel and see things, to understand from their perspective. So, wow, good observation. In fact, I find myself on occassion writing things that, absolutely, should be sung by a woman.

I don't mind that though, since, as much as I love performing, I have been a serious songwriter (since 12) longer than a performer.

As an example (and since you asked for a different style) I posted a song that a woman should really sing, since it is written from her viewpoint really. Called "A Million Ways" which basically just addresses the insensitivity we men can be guilty of, and the woman's appeal that "Must be a million ways, to ease this pain and give me some comfort, but I'm only asking, one, from you"

Ok, so I'll post that one, although the recording is not very professional. Let me know what you think. I have had an artist who I know, and is a gold record achiever, who told me he thought it was a platinum worthy ballad. Who knows? Anyway, I'll post it for ya. Lyrics below....


A MILLION WAYS © 2000 Craig Maxim


Late at night, and I still can't sleep
It's your words, their hurting me
You turn around and say "Let's just go to sleep"
"You know, that's all you really need."

------- CHORUS --------
You don't even know,
What I thought, how I was feeling
And I'm still unsure,
If you really care

Must be a million ways,
To ease this pain,
and give me some comfort,
But I'm only asking, one from you
--------------------------------


All alone, well it feels that way
It's your heart, it's far away
Don't you see, how it's slowly killing me
Do you care, or do you even see?

(Break)
(Chorus)

Both tunes are on our bandmix websites....

click on the www at the bottom, not the profile button