General Music Chat

Not quite sure why you want to chat with this guy at all as it seems he doesn't much care what you think. I would handle it between the other dedicated players and make a decision. If he is voted off the island then the leader can just let him know the band is moving in a different direction and he is free to pursue other interests.

As I said, it's not my decision to make. That being said, if I handle it correctly, I may be able to sway the bandleader to dump this jerk. I hope so.

Getting in a pissing match with a band mate who doesn't care seems like a waste of positive energy and could seep into other band members. You can't fix this train wreck:

And you are absolutely correct. I can't fix it. Now the drummer, the drummer could fix it. If he were motivated to. I don't think he is.

And part of the reason I did it through email is the "pissing match" thing. If he gets defensive and argumentative through email, I am not required to respond to his attitude and I can take my time responding in a reasonable way.

Based on the responses I've gotten here my prior experiences with horrible bandmates and a few other things, I feel like my best strategy is to be as unreasonably reasonable as I can until the band leader gets it that this drummer must go.

Or, ya know, maybe the drummer will straighten up and fly right.

Also, there's a new breed of pigs they found in Antarctica. They're really awesome with the wings and all.

I don't see the problem, sounds like every other drummer I've ever known in my life.... just give him a bit more time to perfect his craft, sounds like he's well on his way to being an awesome drummer.

I don't see the problem, sounds like every other drummer I've ever known in my life.... just give him a bit more time to perfect his craft, sounds like he's well on his way to being an awesome drummer.

I really hope you're being sarcastic.

In the event that you are not...

...No.

No he isn't on the way to becoming an awesome drummer. And he's refused to discuss it in email. I know his type. He'll try to shout down anything I say to him verbally and the discussion will be pointless. So, he talks to me in email or we don't talk.

First rehearsal after I sent him a pretty harsh email about the problems.

It was tense.

He was making a special effort to fix his timekeeping. And failing.

He didn't say a word to me directly.

He was a complete jerk with the guitar player/band leader.

Yes. Yes, this went...

...well?

I remember a really lousy gig in Auburndale FL where the drummer made us look like idiots.

In a pub later on my brother and I were drinking the pain away when our chick singer came up to me and said, "Mike - do I have the authority to fire that drummer?"

I grinned and replied, "By all means."

She said, "Good. Because I already have!"

Talbot

that's priceless, MT!

First rehearsal after I sent him a pretty harsh email about the problems.
It was tense. He was making a special effort to fix his timekeeping. And failing. He didn't say a word to me directly.
He was a complete jerk with the guitar player/band leader.
Yes. Yes, this went...
...well?

You guys are gluttons for punishment. This reminds me of an abused wife who's husband gets drunk and beats her every night. Why don't you leave him? "Well he has some very good qualities..."

The beatings will continue until someone grows some nads and cans this loser.

Unless you 5 or whatever number members in that band are the only musicians within 100 miles, this guy's gotta go.

My drummer is getting tossed tonight if she can manage to show up. Hopefully, this isn't too painful a process. Looking forward to auditioning a bunch of people who think they are musicians.

I hate to say this, but the problem isn't your drummer. The problem is YOU. YOU need to quit the band, period. I don't put up with dickheads, especially in a band. It's either the dickhead goes, or I go. Sometimes people think I'm the dickhead. In that case I'm rightfully kicked out of the band

Well, you're not wrong, exactly. But unfortunately I've dug myself a pretty deep hole.

I need to be in this band at least for a while. At some point either the drummer is gone or I will be, but I feel like I need to try to outlast him. I have a number of reasons for this.

My success in this will depend, somewhat, on how the band leader deals with this.

The good news(?) is that this is one of two bands I'm in. If the other one were to drop the rule about only one gig per month, the band with the crappy drummer would be suddenly looking for a bass player.

"Mike - do I have the authority to fire that drummer?"

Damn. I wish I could get away with that.

I don't understand what talking will do?

It won't fix his meter. Kick him to the curb

Sadly, it's not my decision to make. Honestly, if it were, I wouldn't have started this topic. Because the obvious thing to do is replace him.

The bandleader asked me to talk to him and try to work things out. I get his motivation (drummers are hard to find and this is the third drummer since I've joined the band, fifth or sixth before that), but I think it's misguided.

Having a bad drummer might be better than no drummer for a local gig. ( I wouldn't! )

But the timing issue is not something that can be fixed externally. YOU are in a band with a bad drummer. That is going nowhere now, and eventually it will be worse.

However much time you spend from this point forward is wasted.




.

And it just keeps getting better.

I discovered over the weekend that this guy has a pretty terrible reputation among musicians in the area. Like he leaves a trail of destruction everywhere he goes. I guess he was sort of a hometown hero in high school for his drumming and he's never really let go of that (let's see, he's around my age, I "graduated" from high school in 1978, so...) and it's inflated his ego to the point where he pretty much thinks he's the best drummer ever. He has alienated every band he's been a part of.

So, now I need to present this information to our band leader. Because this clearly cannot continue.

My drummer was told. The discussion beforehand was "has this drummer been able do what we need them to do in order to gig?". As far as getting along with us, yes, for timing, no. End of discussion.

You don't need to outlast anyone. If you are a decent musician, go sit at home and tell the band leader to call you when they resolve the issue. You'll find that when you get the stress off your plate, you won't lack for things to do.