General Music Chat

They wanted me to join. I declined the offer as politely as I could. They are awesome players a good band. I think they really just wanted a rhythm player and I am not willing to stifle myself like that. The fact is the other guy was just too loud. If that is a problem in the beginning experience tells me it won't get better. I don't have the patience or the time for that.

I'm not going to poo poo your judgment call on this Jeff, after all you were there to read the energetics of the situation, not I.
However, just as an outside notion, it is quite possible the experience was a new and uncomfortable one for said guitar player.
To blatantly say he won't be willing to cooperate seems a bit rash.

That said, I understand and prefer to go along with my gut instincts as well.
Reading / feeling the energetics of a situation uncolored by latter cerebral musings is oft the most accurate portrait of what is to come.

hey jeff...sorry that didn't work out. i do have to agree w george and what he said above. i wasn't there either but it seems like there was nothing to lose by having a conversation about things and what you need/expect from a band you're gonna play with.

perhaps you might even want to get back in touch (if everything else was happening) and just lay your cards out on the table. "here's my problem...and here's what i would need to sign on...."


me, i love working w another gtrst when the attitudes are right and people are working TOGETHER. esp when different styles/approaches/tones come into play.

then, on the other hand there's nothing worse than trying to play w another gtrst who isn't a team player and plays at inappropriate volume.

keep fighting the good fight bro. the right deal will come along.

George and Mark, I appreciate your points of view and they are valid. That's why I posted this thread to get wisdom from other points of view. The deciding factor was a comment from one of the other members that their old rhythm player use to b!tch at him all the time about that. When I turned up to match his volume the drummer told me to turn down. Before making my decision I went thru the whole was it me? Perhaps placement of my amp. After working thru that scenario in my mind I came to the conclusion that I did for better or worse, logically I decided it was not a good fit for me. That way we don't waste one another time.

"That's why I posted this thread to get wisdom from other points of view."

well, that leaves ME outta the equation!

i don't mean to beat a dead horse, but it seems like it might have a been a good learning... or more to the point...a good "teaching" opportunity.
since they weren't dickish about things and sound like basically good guys.... it seems like they might benefit from learning why you passed.

and then next time they might handle things differently. hindsight and armchair quarterbacking.....always 20/20.

if the money was right, I think I might swallow my pride a little..

Only you were there to 'feel it', Jeff, and your instincts were probably correct.
When I was playiing with the acoustic duo/trio in 2012, I didn't have a real good feeling right from the start from the song list they sent, but my wife kept pushing me, and then after a couple of rehearsals I already felt like I had invested time with it, might as well keep on going. It took another 2 months for me to realize I had been wasting my time all along.

George and Mark, I appreciate your points of view and they are valid. That's why I posted this thread to get wisdom from other points of view. The deciding factor was a comment from one of the other members that their old rhythm player use to b!tch at him all the time about that. When I turned up to match his volume the drummer told me to turn down. Before making my decision I went thru the whole was it me? Perhaps placement of my amp. After working thru that scenario in my mind I came to the conclusion that I did for better or worse, logically I decided it was not a good fit for me. That way we don't waste one another time.

Given that information I'd have to agree with you.
They want a rhythm guitarist, not a co lead situation.
And that not being your desire, you likely made the best choice.

They wanted me to join. I declined the offer as politely as I could. They are awesome players a good band. I think they really just wanted a rhythm player and I am not willing to stifle myself like that. The fact is the other guy was just too loud. If that is a problem in the beginning experience tells me it won't get better. I don't have the patience or the time for that.

I know it's more work, but you really ought to just start your own band. But whatever you do, don't choose songs just because you like to play them but rather by what the singer and the band can pull off credibly.

And you should also do some of those songs you've been writing/recording.

They wanted me to join. I declined the offer as politely as I could. They are awesome players a good band. I think they really just wanted a rhythm player and I am not willing to stifle myself like that. The fact is the other guy was just too loud. If that is a problem in the beginning experience tells me it won't get better. I don't have the patience or the time for that.

I know it's more work, but you really ought to just start your own band. But whatever you do, don't choose songs just because you like to play them but rather by what the singer and the band can pull off credibly.

And you should also do some of those songs you've been writing/recording.

I am strongly considering doing this Ted.

I'm not a great guitarist. ( hell, I'm not even a good guitarist ) but I've been fortunate to surround myself with like minded musicians. Some of great talent / little experience others bring both to the table.
I see no reason why you'd not be capable of the same Jeff.
Your skill, experience, and singular drive can be enough of a attraction for you to locate the right people.
Best wishes.

For what it's worth imo... what you do is definitely worthy of a band showcasing your original music.

When playing bass I never cared much for two guitars - always liked three piece.

However for the last year and half I played with variations of people where the constant was a pretty cool guy who played guitar quite well and sang. A lot of times he and I would work up originals together. Great fun.

We never even discussed who would play lead - that concept of an alpha and a beta guitarist just doesn't work for me (or him). We seemed to know who was supposed to play when. And we both used our volume knobs to get the sort of 'burn' we wanted without stepping on the other. It's called good manners!

It doesn't always work out that way.

Sounds like Mr. Haley made a wise decision. Shame it had to be that way. The Lord gave us gut instincts and it's wise to use them.

Talbot

For what it's worth imo... what you do is definitely worthy of a band showcasing your original music.

Amen...there's your confirmation, Jeff.


But for what it's worth, Craigslist doesn't work. LOL Go visit the music stores and the jam sessions.

I think Jeff did the right thing, this is an established band, and they wanted a rythym guitarist, I dont think Jeff would be happy in that role for long unless they were paying him a premium, which I dont imagine they would.

Thanks guys! I told him that in the very beginning but actions speak louder than words in this case. If your going to keep turning up rhythm while I am trying to solo it tells me a lot. It just reminds me why I only play in one guitar bands. Not that I am a lead hog, really I am not. I am a very considerate musician and sensitive to the overall sound. I just don't have patience for someone that does not afford me the same consideration. It shows a lack of maturity and experience. I am 55 and I still want to rock, at best I have 10 more years and I want to make them count. Experience tells me those ten years are going to fly by and seem like two years. Someone said the other day "life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end the faster it goes" an appropriate analogy! Ya think?