United States

Also the way in which people responded to my Guitar Center post is not related at all to how I come off on here. This was a physical copy of my ad placed on one of their bulletin boards, and the guy that usually responded was very relaxed. I invited him over, showed him my keyboard, and tried jamming to a few of my favorite songs. After learning a few things about him, like where he stood in his music pursuit, and his skills, and music style(s) he enjoyed, most of the time, I would gently break the news to him, and try to keep him as a general friend to hang out with, and find another activity to do together. What is so wrong with that? How is that being annoying or an asshole?

Talk to me more about that? Why were so many of the people who were helping me reguardless of where I met them get so uptight over calling it quits with the music aspect of the friendship but wanted to keep it going some other way?

Here's another thing that's quite dissappointing. Even though most of the people who responded to my request I would post on Craigslist, Guitar Center or at Baton Rouge Community College wouldn't have worked out musically, there were times when I tried to keep a given individual as a general friend, and network with him, but for some reason, that person got angry with me and just completely blew me off.

Gee, I wonder why!

Again, why are people being sarcastic when I'm trying to find out the real reason behind the whole ordeal? When this person responded, I was nice to him the WHOLE time, and he also seemed cool. But this particular guy actually turned on me, NOT the other way around.

Dude, if your behavior here and the events you've described are any indicator, you just come off as well-meaning but extremely annoying. This goes back to why everyone keeps trying to tell you that your problem is within yourself.

How am I coming off as annoying, and HOW can I correct that?

And help me understand how my Guitar Center post was annoying? This is why I needed to actually have a reason to stick around at the store so I could observe and talk with my audience to answer any questions right then and there, rather than waiting for some random guy to respond who may have initially shown an interest in playing music with me, but refused to get back to me without telling me anything.

Get a personality transplant?
Smoke some weed and relax?
I dunno.

Usually, the wisest thing to do if you are being annoying is talk less and listen more.
Avoiding repeating yourself might help.
Avoid pestering people.
No one likes their time being pointlessly wasted.

That's about all I can think of right now.

Also let me make this clear: this problem happened from the very beginning: before my posts started to get annoying on Baton Rouge Rocks, this board, and Craigslist.

To my knowledge, any ad posted outside of the internet, the person only knew about me through JUST the ad, unless of course, he was the type of guy who looked me up on Google, and found a bunch of rumours, and was the type of guy who believed those rumours, instead of being the bigger man, and not following the crowd.

This guy never quits. And he's getting worse. AND he's getting even MORE specific what he wants. Hopeless.

Here's another thing that's quite dissappointing. Even though most of the people who responded to my request I would post on Craigslist, Guitar Center or at Baton Rouge Community College wouldn't have worked out musically, there were times when I tried to keep a given individual as a general friend, and network with him, but for some reason, that person got angry with me and just completely blew me off.

Gee, I wonder why!

Again, why are people being sarcastic when I'm trying to find out the real reason behind the whole ordeal? When this person responded, I was nice to him the WHOLE time, and he also seemed cool. But this particular guy actually turned on me, NOT the other way around.

Dude, if your behavior here and the events you've described are any indicator, you just come off as well-meaning but extremely annoying. This goes back to why everyone keeps trying to tell you that your problem is within yourself.

How am I coming off as annoying, and HOW can I correct that?

And help me understand how my Guitar Center post was annoying? This is why I needed to actually have a reason to stick around at the store so I could observe and talk with my audience to answer any questions right then and there, rather than waiting for some random guy to respond who may have initially shown an interest in playing music with me, but refused to get back to me without telling me anything.

Get a personality transplant?
Smoke some weed and relax?
I dunno.

Usually, the wisest thing to do if you are being annoying is talk less and listen more.
Avoiding repeating yourself might help.
Avoid pestering people.
No one likes their time being pointlessly wasted.

That's about all I can think of right now.

Read the bullet points you gave. I have ALWAYS tried my best to follow those bullet points. I usually listen to the other person, but also expect the other individual to listen to me as well, when I have a concern. I don't repeat myself unless I have to. The last two of course, are definete no brainers.

Here's another thing that's quite dissappointing. Even though most of the people who responded to my request I would post on Craigslist, Guitar Center or at Baton Rouge Community College wouldn't have worked out musically, there were times when I tried to keep a given individual as a general friend, and network with him, but for some reason, that person got angry with me and just completely blew me off.

Gee, I wonder why!

Again, why are people being sarcastic when I'm trying to find out the real reason behind the whole ordeal? When this person responded, I was nice to him the WHOLE time, and he also seemed cool. But this particular guy actually turned on me, NOT the other way around.

Dude, if your behavior here and the events you've described are any indicator, you just come off as well-meaning but extremely annoying. This goes back to why everyone keeps trying to tell you that your problem is within yourself.

How am I coming off as annoying, and HOW can I correct that?

And help me understand how my Guitar Center post was annoying? This is why I needed to actually have a reason to stick around at the store so I could observe and talk with my audience to answer any questions right then and there, rather than waiting for some random guy to respond who may have initially shown an interest in playing music with me, but refused to get back to me without telling me anything.

Get a personality transplant?
Smoke some weed and relax?
I dunno.

Usually, the wisest thing to do if you are being annoying is talk less and listen more.
Avoiding repeating yourself might help.
Avoid pestering people.
No one likes their time being pointlessly wasted.

That's about all I can think of right now.

Read the bullet points you gave. I have ALWAYS tried my best to follow those bullet points. I usually listen to the other person, but also expect the other individual to listen to me as well, when I have a concern. I don't repeat myself unless I have to. The last two of course, are definete no brainers.

This guy never quits. And he's getting worse. AND he's getting even MORE specific what he wants. Hopeless.

Relax. Stop getting so angry. I am just trying to find out why a given person blew me off after I ended the music relationship and wanted to keep the guy as a general friend, while the other guy blew me off, and actually showed himself to be the asshole.

For example, there was a guy who contacted sometime in late 2010, and he was pretty good musically, but I had to call off the music thing. When I called him back the next day or so (I can't remember when) I tried to se if there was something else we could do, but instead he told me straight up "I have plenty of friends, and don't need anymore".

Note that I followed all of the bullet points that Mike Nobody laid out.

Also the way in which people responded to my Guitar Center post is not related at all to how I come off on here. This was a physical copy of my ad placed on one of their bulletin boards, and the guy that usually responded was very relaxed. I invited him over, showed him my keyboard, and tried jamming to a few of my favorite songs. After learning a few things about him, like where he stood in his music pursuit, and his skills, and music style(s) he enjoyed, most of the time, I would gently break the news to him, and try to keep him as a general friend to hang out with, and find another activity to do together. What is so wrong with that? How is that being annoying or an asshole?

Talk to me more about that? Why were so many of the people who were helping me regardless of where I met them get so uptight over calling it quits with the music aspect of the friendship but wanted to keep it going some other way?

I find it mildly ironic that you're asking for interpersonal relationship advice from someone who compulsively avoids people.

Personally, I want nothing to do with most people at all.

But, I can see that if someone (who already has very little in common with you to start with) finds themselves with NOTHING in common, they feel like you have wasted their time and are just being annoying.

Also the way in which people responded to my Guitar Center post is not related at all to how I come off on here. This was a physical copy of my ad placed on one of their bulletin boards, and the guy that usually responded was very relaxed. I invited him over, showed him my keyboard, and tried jamming to a few of my favorite songs. After learning a few things about him, like where he stood in his music pursuit, and his skills, and music style(s) he enjoyed, most of the time, I would gently break the news to him, and try to keep him as a general friend to hang out with, and find another activity to do together. What is so wrong with that? How is that being annoying or an asshole?

Talk to me more about that? Why were so many of the people who were helping me regardless of where I met them get so uptight over calling it quits with the music aspect of the friendship but wanted to keep it going some other way?

I find it mildly ironic that you're asking for interpersonal relationship advice from someone who compulsively avoids people.

Personally, I want nothing to do with most people at all.
But, I can see that if someone (who already has very little in common with you to start with) finds themselves with NOTHING in common, they feel like you have wasted their time and are just being annoying.

Note the bolded section. That wouldv'e been useful information to know from the beginning.

In response to the quote as a whole: just because we didn't work out musically, doesn't mean we couldn't have made something else work. The given guy didn't really give that part a chance. The guys who blew me off couldv'e very well been the guys I couldv'e met the desired music buddies through. And of course, possibly not right away. I may have had to go through some of his general friends to get there, but you see what I've been trying to work towards, right?

Annoying - a mild way to describe your behavior, Cliffie. If you are advertising for a music partner, then say 'no thanks, can we be friends?' of course they are blowing you off. Friendship is a two-way street.

Annoying - a mild way to describe your behavior, Cliffie. If you are advertising for a music partner, then say 'no thanks, can we be friends?' of course they are blowing you off. Friendship is a two-way street.

Stop giving me lectures on friendship. I know how friendship works. Also why do I keep running into people who call me Cliffy or Cliffie as if I'm 5 years old, rather than 29? My name is Clifford!

Also why can't these people understand that my behavior here is not at all connected to the way in which I ended the music relationship and tried to find some other activity for me and the other guy to do to stay friends and meet other musicians through him.

Also let me point out that a select few individuals were nice enough to do that, although most of the time, that wouldn't work out very well either, due to lack of having enough friends who play more of the artists and songs I enjoy, and who have decent skills, or not having enough friends in my age group.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zfvxi15ljuQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zfvxi15ljuQ

Stop making fun of other people's failure. Do the opposite. And stop saying that everything is my fault, when I am trying my best to work with what I've got and with what comes my way. And if something isn't working out, I have the guts to at least tell him nicely.

One thing I seriously don't understand though, is why I keep running into individuals who don't use good common sense when responding to my requests? For example, instead of reaching guys who are smart enough to call me when that person is at home doing nothing, I get a call from someone right when he's late for work, or school, thus not giving me enough time to discuss his music tastes, and learn some stuff about him in general, and schedule a way to meet. And quite often, instead of getting calls from individuals during the appropriate season (Spring semester or Fall semester) I instead get calls from a person during a season when people have to travel on vacation or to visit family (summer, Thanksgiving and Christmas), and don't have the decency to wait until that time is over for both of us, and then set something up, and instead, just completely blew me off before anything else can be said, giving the impression that he either lost interest, or some other thing came up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zfvxi15ljuQ

And what is up with the obsession of Star Wars? That crap is dated!