Alright, sorry for the delay. I gave it a listen a few days ago. I didn't like it. I wanted to give it a rest and come back for a thorough critique as you requested.
The first thing I heard was a dark opening. Nothing special but not bad. Kind of fusing grunge and metal. Could've gone either way. It went both ways. I didn't like the guitar tone. Too chorusy? And not enough tubes. Just sounds digital to me. The opening vocal "oohs" were ok. Cliched from twenty years ago. The vocals are pretty queensryche Geoff Tate. The immediate thing I notice are consistent pitch issues.
My opinion is that either a singer can hear pitch and has control or they don't. My opinion is that musicianship can honed and refined and grow and grow to greatness. I feel like vocals are not that way. Either they are good or they are not. There is an amount of refining that can be done but the bulk of it, the ear and control, has to be there from the get go in order for someone to be a "lead" singer.
For instance. the melody at :51 "dark of the night" is noncommittal and reckless. I can't even imagine the melody he was going for. He follows it up with a repeat of the melody at :58 "stares at the light" and I understand the melody he was attempting. It's a weak melody but I get it.
At 1:03 "As tears stream down (the?) face." The word "down" is WAY off key. He follows it up with the same melody "will she ever leave this place" and that whole melody is on key. the word "again" that ends the phrase is seriously weak.
The guitar on the chorus there is kind of digital hazy but the riff is pretty beast. I dig it in a primal adolescent way. It would sound way better cranked through a good tube amp with very little effects. Maybe a touch of reverb and the gain on the amp cranked. The riff is beast though.
The negative space is boss too. The clean guitar doing it's thing and the distorted one coming in and out is right on time.
The pitch issues are consistent. I won't continue to point them out.
Sounds like the vocals peaked at 2:37 - 2:39 "all have to place the blame"? Which brings me to another point. It's very difficult to make out his lyrics. He also needs work on phrasing and pronunciation.
The bridge that starts at 3:05 is a welcome change. Very appropriate. Some excellent guitar parts in there. Tense, intense harmony parts in the chords.
Solo started out strong. Still don't like the processing. And it was pretty dated. Fairly solid playing but no surprises. Some well executed bends. Some sharp, some flat. But the whole solo was just too stuck in the eighties for me.
I can't hear the bass. I'm guessing the bass just doubled the rhythm. Nothing stood out to me.
The drums sound good. That is amazing for home recording. Only the toms sound "home recorded". Do you have a drum kit mic set? I liked all the drum parts. Nothing was mind blowing but almost everything was solid. I hate to say it but that old saying "if you don't notice the drummer he's doing it right" is true for me. I didn't hear him screw up.
In summary. I dislike the vocals a lot. The song is too long for me. Keep in mind I love a perfect 3:00 - 3:30 minute song. I'd love to hear you through some simple tube gear. I like the chorus riffs and a lot of the guitar work.
And I could go the rest of my life without hearing another pinched harmonic.
The first thing I heard was a dark opening. Nothing special but not bad. Kind of fusing grunge and metal. Could've gone either way. It went both ways. I didn't like the guitar tone. Too chorusy? And not enough tubes. Just sounds digital to me. The opening vocal "oohs" were ok. Cliched from twenty years ago. The vocals are pretty queensryche Geoff Tate. The immediate thing I notice are consistent pitch issues.
My opinion is that either a singer can hear pitch and has control or they don't. My opinion is that musicianship can honed and refined and grow and grow to greatness. I feel like vocals are not that way. Either they are good or they are not. There is an amount of refining that can be done but the bulk of it, the ear and control, has to be there from the get go in order for someone to be a "lead" singer.
For instance. the melody at :51 "dark of the night" is noncommittal and reckless. I can't even imagine the melody he was going for. He follows it up with a repeat of the melody at :58 "stares at the light" and I understand the melody he was attempting. It's a weak melody but I get it.
At 1:03 "As tears stream down (the?) face." The word "down" is WAY off key. He follows it up with the same melody "will she ever leave this place" and that whole melody is on key. the word "again" that ends the phrase is seriously weak.
The guitar on the chorus there is kind of digital hazy but the riff is pretty beast. I dig it in a primal adolescent way. It would sound way better cranked through a good tube amp with very little effects. Maybe a touch of reverb and the gain on the amp cranked. The riff is beast though.
The negative space is boss too. The clean guitar doing it's thing and the distorted one coming in and out is right on time.
The pitch issues are consistent. I won't continue to point them out.
Sounds like the vocals peaked at 2:37 - 2:39 "all have to place the blame"? Which brings me to another point. It's very difficult to make out his lyrics. He also needs work on phrasing and pronunciation.
The bridge that starts at 3:05 is a welcome change. Very appropriate. Some excellent guitar parts in there. Tense, intense harmony parts in the chords.
Solo started out strong. Still don't like the processing. And it was pretty dated. Fairly solid playing but no surprises. Some well executed bends. Some sharp, some flat. But the whole solo was just too stuck in the eighties for me.
I can't hear the bass. I'm guessing the bass just doubled the rhythm. Nothing stood out to me.
The drums sound good. That is amazing for home recording. Only the toms sound "home recorded". Do you have a drum kit mic set? I liked all the drum parts. Nothing was mind blowing but almost everything was solid. I hate to say it but that old saying "if you don't notice the drummer he's doing it right" is true for me. I didn't hear him screw up.
In summary. I dislike the vocals a lot. The song is too long for me. Keep in mind I love a perfect 3:00 - 3:30 minute song. I'd love to hear you through some simple tube gear. I like the chorus riffs and a lot of the guitar work.
And I could go the rest of my life without hearing another pinched harmonic.
