krakatoas_revenge wrote:I am right now?
I can't find the motivation to do well in school, mainly because I have a huge problem with materialism and this is all rotating around money - a long philosophy I won't give more detail here. What I want to do is sing in a band and be a radio host. I have a pell grant but I'm sure they'll take it away when they see my grades. All hell is expected to break loose in a week. My fear is not having anything to do then, as I'm sure I'll get kicked out (I'm 20, by the way.) My only source of income is a small secretarial job as a student worker. I see myself either being homeless until I can make my next move if ever or staying with a relative to 'work it out.'
I have a few ways to go as far as leaving home is concerned but only one that could take effect now versus until at least somewhere inbetween summer break; living with my dad which I do not want to do. I'm hoping my mom will allow me to stay until then because I joined a radio station program at the college, which is the ONLY part of my "education" that is beneficial to my dream. I figure it will be great practice. And if she ever heard me say "I don't give a f**k about MONEY. I just want to sing, songwrite, and be around music," she'd go absolutely ballistic. But it's true. If I have to die sooner than most others because of it, it was worth it to do something I love so much.
My only setback is that I don't want to be alone, and I am..a friend has asked me to move with him to Florida when he leaves possibly some time this summer and I said I would if nothing allowed me to stay in this state, because I can't keep doing this. I probably won't even have the option after this semester. But like I said, I know what I want. And nothing compares to how I feel when I'm singing.
Krakatoas,
We all eventually have to take on the freeway slam by a mac truck (Called life). The real trick is not focusing on getting hit... rather its focusing on how we pick up the pieces and assemble something with them.
You seem like a sensitive person... capable of deep thinking...
At 20, I was like that too... Since then, I have learned the art of bliss. (To know what that looks like, just review the photo ID of Postal Worker (played by Tommy Lee Jones) in the movie: Men In Black II...Seriously...That photo was so funny that it almost made me wet my britches...). The art of bliss allows us to think less and act more on basic impulse. By the time were twenty, we've been exposed to so much contradiction , that we wanna drop off the earth to get away from it...
BLISS helps us cure that dilemma.
Money is a necessity in life (not saying its supposed to make us happy) , One of its benefits is that it allows us to navigate through obstacles, that would otherwise impede our momentum to create, live, etc. The more money we have, the more obstacles we can get through without sweating a lot over it.
One does not have to love or worship money to use it for leverage in life. In fact I highly recommend people to hate money..its better for the soul and more importantly, it preserves our sense of realism and helps us avoid lofty and transient , meaningless pursuits.
But, if we want to avoid sleeping under bridges, then a healthy respect for what money can do, in responsible hands, is indeed the ticket.
The world is a scary place...(Florida is scarier...unless your philosophical mind can stomach the cheap beads and the safari shirts with the the tiki umbrellas... The bright side is that its easy to fine work in Florida... But you'll never get rich there unless you are a criminal... (My speculation only)
Back to BLISS... To achieve bliss, consider the Maslow's pyramid. His "Hierarchy of needs" is the very poison that Marketers use against you every day...and yet, its is also the very antidote to resolve our needs, every day. If you can meet the first few tiers, you are on the right path to proper self-actualization (AKA a sense of bliss in life)
http://psychology.about.com/od/theories ... yneeds.htm
You need money as a tool, plain and simple... You will be forced to work for it in most cases, and with a good moral compass, you can achieve amazing things with it for mankind. Even Mother Teresa operated on a defined budget.
Good luck, Hope you find what you are looking for...