General Music Chat

When snow is floating through an air of delight
And the crack of falling trees turns your head
The chill upon your face makes you sure of every step
That brings you ever closer to her bed

Crossing through the oak and maple steady I shall be
I feel the miles between us growing short
The skins that wrap my body keep me warm in travel here
But her arms will keep me warm for evermore

Evermore, She will keep me on a course
That leads through a life of Love and glee
The kiss she places softly on my lips is burning hot
With a fire in my heart for evermore

The woods and pasture wide that seperate our hearts
No longer burden Lovers anymore
With axe and oxen strong I have cleared a Loving path
That leads me to my Love for evermore

Evermore, She will keep me on a course
That leads me through a life of Love and glee
The kiss she places softly on my lips is burning hot
With a fire in my heart for evermore

Repeat chorus:




I wrote this short and simple Love song this morning
while recovering from my work Saturday. Hope you
enjoy it. Somehow I hear a harpsichord in it. I think?
I could probably add a bridge too. I like to write the bridges
once I get a feel for the instrumentation.[/b]

Very nice Klug! I will make one suggestion, feel free to disregard.

Since you have a 2/4 rhyming scheme going, something like:

Evermore, she will keep me on a course
That leads this little boat back to the shore
The kiss she places softly on my lips is burning hot
With a fire in my heart for evermore

This keeps with the 'on course' analogy as well.

Best of luck.

That's funny JD. I understand what you are saying but you are thinking
as you should, as a musician not a singer. Timing is what it is, in your head.
In my head as a singer the timing is variable inside the 2/4. If I sang in perfect timing
I would sound like I was reading it as I sang. This is a common problem with many singers.
If their head is that of a musician they will do that easily. A good singer
can sing a word with few or many syllables and sound correct. So timing
is variable with a singer that has skills. I sing the song in my head as I
write as I would sing it. That is why the lyrics may seem awkward to some
especially pure musicians. Many R&B singers will put almost unlimited
syllables in a word to emphasize or stretch.

I-ah-ah-ah-ah am so in lo-ov-ve-ve wit choo SOUL VERSION

I am so in love with you WHITE SOUL VERSION


LOL!

Hey man its you song sing that dude the way you want too, is all I can sa-a-a-a-a-a-a--a-a--------------yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

BINGO jw The make that sound part is the skill.

Damn Klugmo...you ol softie...Good Gawd you are a bonafide romantic! That's great prose man...

Very skillfully depicted that contrast between Cold and Warm... Excellent use of metaphore (i.e clearing the path).

I can Identify with it. (although my frame of reference was not the trees, it was the ocean... up near the aleutian Islands..where we created the wake..., ...but same principle ...

Cant wait to here how you put this to music..

Killer lyrics!

I could see Type O Negative doing something exactly like that! I could actually hear Peter Steele (R.I.P.) singing it as I read.