This is a MUSIC forum. Irrelevant or disrespectful posts/topics will be removed by Admin. Please report any forum spam or inappropriate posts HERE.

All users can post to this forum on general music topics.

Moderators: bandmixmod1, jimmy990, spikedace

#15952 by JJW III
Sun Nov 25, 2007 4:14 am
Captain Scott wrote:Wegman, I admire you for you for your beliefs in compromise and reconciliation.


Thanks Captain.

I try to approach life as there are only problems and solutions. Sometimes the solution is making the decision that is most difficult.

#15956 by Craig Maxim
Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:41 am
Wildnorthwoodsman wrote: It is really a good band and a great bunch of people.



Well, both the "band" and the "great bunch of people" are on the decline now it seems. Time to make some fast hard choices.

Sounds like she has done this at least three times. Strike three you're out. That should be a basic rule, which is generous at that. Quit the band, and didn't cover a gig until a replacement was found? That's "One strike you're out" And don't take their sorry ass back. Blowing a gig for no good reason, is unforgiveable. Club owners know each other. People running the clubs know each other. They talk. f**k one club owner over, and you may find you are not working as much as you used to, anywhere.

A band is a community endeavor. It is not just 5 guys in a band, but potentially, five different FAMILIES also involved, who generally make sacrifices, so their musical family member can play. The band comes first where anything musical is concerned, but families have to be considered also, as everything we do, affects those closest to us, sometimes making the sacrifices with us, to help us do what we do.

Being in a band, means acting in the best interest for the band, where band issues are concerned. A chick quitting over her mixed feelings of a bandmate who is also a lover, is NOT in the band's best interest. In fact, it is DERIMENTAL to the band. Trying to keep a f**k up girlfriend in the band is also DETRIMENTAL. He doesn't deserve to be the band leader.

My wife knows, not to start drama, or suddenly need to "talk" in the middle of band practice. It is sacred. Wait until after the practice. This happened ONCE, only ONCE. I told her, that it is unfair to put , not just 4 other guys on hold, sitting around for nothing, but also their four families, all waiting for them to come home on time. I told her, there are five families represented here, and you are not gonna tell them that our family is more important than their family, by DEMANDING that they all be made to waste their time, at a scheduled practice, because you JUST HAVE to deal with some personal issue with me NOW. She said "Well, I'm leaving in the car, and you don't want me to pull out of here! If I do, it's over, I'm packing my stuff!" I told her "Make sure you don't take any of my stuff with you."

I said "Look, if you leave that's your choice. But I have a committment here from 2pm to 6pm and I am honoring that committment. Whether you like it or not, or whether you leave me or not.

I keep my committments to you, always, and it will not help it to remain so, if I suddenly decide to start breaking committments in other areas of my life.

--

If all the people in your band are truly committed, they need to prove it by honoring their committments REGULARLY, and eliminating things that detract from your committments and detract from your being the best band you can be. Which starts with being reliable and dependable, almost before we even discuss the musical part of it.

If she is still in the band, you need a group meeting where, hopefully, everyone agrees, that after this many times, if there is another, it will be the last time. Someone who quits a band that many times, is not truly there for the BAND, but for their own solitary purpose. And that selfish purpose has the power to destroy the band, if allowed to continue.

A person who is out for themselves first, and not the band as a whole, needs to grab a guitar and microphone and find a nice coffee shop somewhere to begin their solo career. They don't belong in a band, they don't have the heart for it.

#15965 by Irish Anthony
Sun Nov 25, 2007 7:24 pm
find a new band....or put up with the sh*t...its your call.

#16202 by loudbob1955
Fri Nov 30, 2007 4:09 pm
Gotta agree with the majority here. If there is no Communication between all members, you'll never get this taken care of.

Why is communication between everyone such are hard task? With all that's been made available, this shouldn't be an Issue any more.

Romance between Band Members is like too much booze on stage... It's just plain doesn't work.. Wait until after the Show. ]:o)

my $.02

LB

#16216 by Irminsul
Fri Nov 30, 2007 6:40 pm
To bandmates: "Guys, I'd like to introduce you to my girlfriend here. Oh and by the way, she's going to be our tambourine player and manager."

#16221 by Starfish Scott
Fri Nov 30, 2007 6:46 pm
I heard that once. I told him to take his girlfriend back to whatever rock he found her under or find a new situation.

NEVER and I mean NEVER let lust interfere with your music.

Only thing more f**k than that is a "bad tambourine girl who can't keep time".

"She was confused because she was chewing gum and couldn't count the beats". "1-2-4-1-2-3-2-4" lol
#16223 by Guitaranatomy
Fri Nov 30, 2007 6:49 pm
Well there are some crazy things happening in this guitar world, I feel compelled to speak up! Lol. Um, well... I do not know if it would be the brightest thing for there to be emotional involvement in a band. I have never really been in a band, so... All of these opinions are just based on what I know about life in general.

Look, there is a problem with the whole thing of firing the drummer. You fire a good drummer and finding a new good one ain't going to be fun. Let's face it, there are not too many Lars Ulrich's or Keith Moon's around. On the other hand if I had set up all those auditions and found a better female lead singer like you did, I would tell the drummer to go find himself a new band. However, since you state he is the leader and has all of the recording space, equipment, and so on and so forth... It puts you into a bind. Best bet is to talk it out with the guy, his girl may be his girl, but breaking his band for her would be unfair to the band.

If you are good enough to go on your own and start over, just do it already. Good luck with whatever happens man.

Oh, by the way, the first time I heard that "bro's before ho's" thing was in the Transformers Movie. It's a good line, lol.

#16249 by Wildnorthwoodsman
Sat Dec 01, 2007 3:21 am
Well, I was trying to let this thread die a slow death, mostly because the old singer is back and I'm sucking it up and getting over it. Thanks for all of the GOOD advice. I think it's just a matter of time before it all falls apart, but dang it, I like this band and it's a perfect gig for me. I have a wife and four little girls, as well as owning my own company, and not a lot of time to be a full time rock star. We only gig every few months, so it's a minimal committment on my part. I've heard a few comments about being good enough to start my own thing. I've been playing since the age of 5...that was 34 years ago. I can play, and I certainly could start my own thing, but maybe nothing as sweet as this gig.

Gotta take that into consideration...

By the way, Irminsul...you strike me as a pretty smart guy - I like reading your threads and posts.

#16257 by Guitarzan6000
Sat Dec 01, 2007 2:46 pm
Hey, I'd like to put my comment in here...Chicks in bands are nothing but trouble, unless it is STRICTLY professional. And it almost always turns into an emotional involvement with somebody. Since you aren't seriously gigging, why even worry about it??? I think if you guys were working regularly, it would matter. But also if she is the kind who leaves, comes back, leaves again....then I think you should ally with one of the other guys in the band who feels like you do and take the drummer out and get him drunk and tell him the truth....if he's a love-struck puppy, maybe he just don't see it....until she dumps him, that is....just "my" opinion. Good Luck!!!

#16261 by Wildnorthwoodsman
Sat Dec 01, 2007 4:55 pm
Guitarzan6000 wrote:Since you aren't seriously gigging, why even worry about it??? I think if you guys were working regularly, it would matter.


While that's a good point, I'm still a serious musician, regardless of how infrequently I gig...so I do tend to fret (no pun intended) over these kind of things.

And yeah, the dating thing within the band is annoying. They hang all over each other before and after practice. I may bring a hose along with me next time...

#16270 by Irminsul
Sat Dec 01, 2007 7:42 pm
Wildnorthwoodsman wrote:Well, I was trying to let this thread die a slow death, mostly because the old singer is back and I'm sucking it up and getting over it. Thanks for all of the GOOD advice. I think it's just a matter of time before it all falls apart, but dang it, I like this band and it's a perfect gig for me. I have a wife and four little girls, as well as owning my own company, and not a lot of time to be a full time rock star. We only gig every few months, so it's a minimal committment on my part. I've heard a few comments about being good enough to start my own thing. I've been playing since the age of 5...that was 34 years ago. I can play, and I certainly could start my own thing, but maybe nothing as sweet as this gig.

Gotta take that into consideration...

By the way, Irminsul...you strike me as a pretty smart guy - I like reading your threads and posts.



Thanks much woodsman. Truth be told I'm just another mensch here putting in my dos pesos.

#16282 by Wildnorthwoodsman
Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:03 pm
You're most welcome!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests