General Music Chat

Forgiveness: (It's doing a number on my soul)

I understand BOTH sides of the opinion. Yes.... I HAVE to take him to court as I honestly can't take on the monetary responsibilities. I don't have a job anymore and my wife may lose hers due to the fact she's got to keep leaving work because of all the "interruptions" caused by this accident. Seems like my body does not take well to foreign objects. The pain is STILL excruciating and I MUST take opiates in otder to at last give the rest of my family some peace of mind. I hope to God I don't end up being an addict but without all these opiates, I'd be in hell! I NEED the help of an attorney and got me one of the best. I don't want to seem like one of those money grubbin' assholes but try and understand, my bank account s quickly being drained and I have mortgages, loans and 2 teenage boys that will be college bound in a few years. I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN FINANCIALLY GET through a good attorney. Yhey will go after the offenders insurance, not his personal belongings. I feel I'm due this because of all monies lost, no more guitar, extreme pain, etc... THIS WAS NOT MY FAULT! I was just putting down the MAIN road(Wireless Rd.) at 28-30 mph (I had right of way) and this guy didn't even bother to look my way. I remember that... His face was turned the other way and he just gunned it in front of me and now I'm basically f**k for life. No music, no job, no upper body strength and it's taking it's toll on my family. I can NEVER enjoy the few little "passions" I once was able to enjoy because this man was in a rush to get to the other side. Sorry... I'm still debating on the forgiveness part due to one of the dumbest actions I've witnessed to date. How? How do you cross a road without looking into oncoming traffic? HOW??

Wow Kerry, now you have gone fully heavy metal.

No one blames you for seeking a lawyer to look out for your interests. That is why we have lawyers and you need one now. Keep an eye on him and just make sure it is your interests and not his own that he is looking out for.

Re: forgiveness... that is always a tough one. I have struggled with this all my life and it is never easy. I can tell you that when you are willing to forgive, healing will begin inside you. It may even ease your pain some. Anger tends to burn us up from the inside out. A wise friend of mine once said that to refuse forgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping that other guy dies. Not a great plan. If you can find a way to forgive this guy for being a flawed human who make sometimes serious and tragic mistakes (just like the rest of us) it will benefit you far more than it will benefit him.

Whatever you choose, know that your BM buds are behind you.

Peace

you need to find a lawyer who can refer you to a doctor. They spend a year or two taking care of your ailments, then they have a large number to settle with the insurance company for payments....and the higher those payments, the more your "pain and suffereing" will also be.

There are ambulance chasers everywhere so it should'n't be hard to find a lawyer who is willing....


Or maybe you find the doctor first and ask him for a reference?


But if they are a package deal, there should be no up-front costs out of your pocket.

Kerry, so sorry to hear that you are still in so much pain! I would sue the sh!t out of that @sshole for every dime He & his insurance co. have!
Don't feel bad for looking out for yours and your families financial well being and future! This guys actions are costing you and in life we have to pay for our mistakes and this guy is going to have to pay for his!
Forgiveness is a tough thing. You are going to have to go thru all the phases and levels of emotions pain & suffering, despair, anger, hopelessness. Slowly as you begin to get better and are able to continue on with your life the bitterness will start to fade and you will be able to forgive, forgiveness takes time. You have the right to your feelings and emotions in a situation like this. Remember that Peter Frampton went through the same thing in that car wreck he was in when he was at the top of his game. I think he shattered the same bones as you. Look at him now he has still got it! He recovered and continued with his career and so can you! You are in our prayers!

you need to find a lawyer who can refer you to a doctor. They spend a year or two taking care of your ailments, then they have a large number to settle with the insurance company for payments....and the higher those payments, the more your "pain and suffereing" will also be.

There are ambulance chasers everywhere so it should'n't be hard to find a lawyer who is willing....


Or maybe you find the doctor first and ask him for a reference?


But if they are a package deal, there should be no up-front costs out of your pocket.

LOL No... None of those ambulance chasers or 1-800- lawyers for me.... I was immediately rushed to hospital and the surgeon was one of the best. They honstly don't get involved with attorneys here in NY. I contacted a vey good , loving and caring lawyer the day this happened as I've known him since the 80's and he works his ass off for his clients. He is now the OWNER of the firm and I'm putting all my faith into him and letting him do his "thing". He knows what to do and how to go about doing it. Any /dr. that works with ambulance chasers seem to be vey seedy and in it for themselves... I needed to separate the 2. All will be resolved properly in the end. The good part is that I have a cpy of the poice report where the offender states that he didn't even see me...It was a one way main avenue and for him not to see me mant he wasn't looking!

Hey Crip I hope you get better, this can't hold
down a tough guy like you, anyway I have prayed
for you and will continue to keep you in my prayers.

Haleys right sue them for all they got you are owed it
that is why we all pay insurance.

I think once the doctors can get rid of your pain,
they can break you off the drugs.

You know I practice forgiveness but I never forget.

Hope your well soon.

Kerry - A Christian perspective:

if the person you collided with is at fault, you are completely within your rights to be compensated for medical treatment costs and loss of property - there is scriptural warrant for this principle, so from a Christian perspective, you don't need forgiveness for desiring what is due you.

However - included in the Christian perspective is the not so hard caveat of not taking this as an opportunity for "gain", "revenge", or out of "anger". My personal conviction is that everyone has stupid moments - we just pay attention more to those moments that cause us personal injury. I don't know the person, or even the details of what happened, so I'm not going to presume to know how anger ties into your attitude, but it sounds to me based on what you wrote that you are cognizant of it, and have a humble attitude such that you view this as a last resort - so I wouldn't consider it an issue with you. That's my 2 cents on the anger part anyways.

The courts are instituted by God. The government court system is established by God to maintain law, order, and peace in the land (Romans 13:1-7). Even Apostle Paul cited Roman law and utilized secular courts protect his legal rights (Acts 16:37-38, 22:25-29, and 25:10-12).

So I don't think you need to burden your conscience on this matter. But you and your family are still in my prayers.



Chris

You have a responsibility to the other citizens to ensure that his carelessness is justly punished.
He has a responsibility to you as well for the injury and expense caused to you and your family.
IMO that includes all that is tangible. ( not pain and suffering ) but your real loss of income and medical expenses.

Just my opinion ... you are of course free to pursue what ever path you deem fit.

Forgiveness: (It's doing a number on my soul)

I understand BOTH sides of the opinion. Yes.... I HAVE to take him to court as I honestly can't take on the monetary responsibilities. I don't have a job anymore and my wife may lose hers due to the fact she's got to keep leaving work because of all the "interruptions" caused by this accident. Seems like my body does not take well to foreign objects. The pain is STILL excruciating and I MUST take opiates in otder to at last give the rest of my family some peace of mind. I hope to God I don't end up being an addict but without all these opiates, I'd be in hell! I NEED the help of an attorney and got me one of the best. I don't want to seem like one of those money grubbin' assholes but try and understand, my bank account s quickly being drained and I have mortgages, loans and 2 teenage boys that will be college bound in a few years. I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN FINANCIALLY GET through a good attorney. Yhey will go after the offenders insurance, not his personal belongings. I feel I'm due this because of all monies lost, no more guitar, extreme pain, etc... THIS WAS NOT MY FAULT! I was just putting down the MAIN road(Wireless Rd.) at 28-30 mph (I had right of way) and this guy didn't even bother to look my way. I remember that... His face was turned the other way and he just gunned it in front of me and now I'm basically f**k for life. No music, no job, no upper body strength and it's taking it's toll on my family. I can NEVER enjoy the few little "passions" I once was able to enjoy because this man was in a rush to get to the other side. Sorry... I'm still debating on the forgiveness part due to one of the dumbest actions I've witnessed to date. How? How do you cross a road without looking into oncoming traffic? HOW??

Sometimes, to appreciate the benefit of one angle of the view, one must look from the opposite angle o the view for a while... So , get mad, hate , be angry, curse the guy into the ground., let it run through your system... .But the minute you realize it's leaving something bitter behind, note the poisoning...Then, switch the needle over to the other view...forgiveness, empathy, compassion. Do this a million times if that's what it takes..

In the meantime, Forgiveness has nothing to do with the legal part of this. Get the court to take him to the cleaners in order to ensure that your family and you don't suffer the financial damages. (Just be a business guy about it...nothing personal with him) and also remember, that guy has lessons to learn...His 'school' is in session right now... Be the proud agent of deliverance for that guy... He clearly needs the legal Ass kicking... I am curious to know if that guy had a cell phone in operation...when all this happened.

I disagree with Sans and PD. You should first TAKE YOUR TIME and work through YOUR EMOTIONS!

You should also get PAIN and SUFFERING! Dangit you should have monetary compensation for the mental ANGUISH you are experiencing! That selfish @sshole should be made to pay for HIS CHOICE of being in such a HURRY that another human beings life meant SO LITTLE to him that HE DIDN"T EVEN LOOK! PHUKEM!

Folks I know my opinion seems harsh but this is LIFE! EVERYTIME I GET BEHIND THE WHEEL I have a choice. My choice is to DRIVE SAFELY!
I am going to be 53 VERY SOON. For all you folks out there that think old men are patient. LMAO! For all you Sons of Fathers you know better Huh! I am in a DAMN hurry Everywhere I go! STILL I HAVE A CHOICE! I always consider the safety of my actions behind the wheel of a 2000 lb. TORPEDO! IMO those that don't have the same CONSIDERATION How do my BROTHERS in the GREAT NORTHEAST say "PHUKEM"

Write music while going through this ordeal..

Of course you need to sue, that's what insurance is for. Hopefully the guy that caused the accident didn't do it on purpose. Was there alcohol involved? Had he caused previous accidents? Some people simply make mistakes driving, we're not machines. You're going to get better. A few healed cells at a time. In your situation I would consult a naturopathic doctor or holistic practitioner for alternatives to prescription painkillers. I've had pain issues pretty severe and got some herbal painkillers quite effective, non-addictive, no side effects. I hope your financial situation improves. Hopefully a legal settlement will ease your mind. Hopefully over the next few weeks your pain will ease.

Kerry, I know this is a stupid question but do they have you on anti-rejection meds? Me thinks that they are probably keeping those minimally and slowly increasing them!

I do think you should consider the words of the Captain He knows best.
My bad the Chief Engineer!

Crip

Two things:

I'm not sure on the theology of this and intend to consult a pastor; but it seems to me we shouldn't be required to forgive anyone who hasn't repented and / or asked for forgiveness. If he has asked for forgiveness, I believe you are required to grant it.

However, as a very wise black pastor said in a radio broadcast, "We are saved by grace, but the consequences here on Earth can eat you up!"

Ted Bundy, the serial killer repented and I rejoiced. But I was also very satisfied when he was executed. As was he. Having repented, he released that being saved did not excuse him from the consequences of his crimes - at least in this realm.

I'm very dodgy about Christians sueing each other in court - Paul has words on that. But a) is this guy a Christian? b) Is he willing to deal with the costs of his carelessness rather than cause you further pain? If he is willing to pay that would be a home run but I wouldn't stay late waiting for it. You should be compensated by the person at fault, one way or the other.

I hope that helps.

Talbot

You are gonna do just fine. If my son can do it so can you.



but in the mean time





get your self one of these





are you gettin excited








wait for it









here it is