United States

This is just a short rap I wrote, more so of a prelude, just something short. It's about the maggots who f**k with me during middle school, the endless torment never went away and this is how I feel today about it. It's just something short. So please give oppinions please, such as: should I continue to expand the rest of the lyrics?, should I keep writing it out to a full fledged song? Oppinions please. Thank you!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Prelude (In Dishonor of 2 Pricks)

I remember all those faggots who just picked on me for fun
I remember those two maggots, Travis L and Brandon
If you’re listenin’ to this song, then I hope you know now
That I’m burnin’ you for fun, so just shut your f**k’ mouths
Yeah I keep a spiteful grudge, I keep it for a long time
So don’t you pu**y’s think that you can just run and hide
And think that I’ve forgotten all the sh*t that you did
The way you bullied me each day and every other weak kid
Actin’ like tough sh*t, get prepared to get whored
If you don’t watch yourself, you might just get gored
On the end o’ my friend, and it’s called a knife
So tell me how it feels, can you feel all that strife
Yeah I’m on a higher level, one you’ll never achieve
And If I saw you inbreds now, I’d f**k’ knock out your teeth
And leave you bleedin’ like a bitch on the side of the curb
And then I’d kick ya in the dick while you’re down and hurt
And take a few seconds to admire the moment
Then I’d let my dogs loose, no more bitch ass opponents
So you better hope to god that you don’t come down my way
So don’t be f**k’ foolish, it’s a fatal mistake
That you’ll only make once, so it’s time to decide
Are you feelin’ lucky pricks, are you ready to die
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The lyrics are pretty hardcore. Finish it... record it. Maybe work it in the direction of forgiveness or showing mercy on the fools but let em know you haven't forgotten the way they treated you. Let the conclusion be you're in control of yourself not the mistakes some middle school kids made.
Many artist use their craft as therapy. Just don't act it out.
As cliché as it is going to sound, the best revenge is to forgive, live well and succeed. The immediate satisfaction is not there, I know. But true forgiveness in this case may be true mercy. Be the bigger man. (Sorry man that's just the dad in me speaking.)
Good Luck Patrick

What Jahva said. I know I can get hard when I need to, but honestly, there's enough anger, misogyny and violent intention in rap that I no longer listen to it.

I got bullied horribly when I was in school and it made me a stronger person and I no longer have any anger towards those who tormented me. I did mean stuff to kids too, so I wasn't completely innocent myself. But the important thing is that you learn from your mistakes, and I've never thought myself too big to go to another person and say I'm sorry when I mess up.

Oh, and the word is "pussies" not a singular possessive 's when referring to more than one pu**y at a time.

Chaeya

Childish and vulgar.

We all think that way sometimes.
Best just to vent, get over it, and move on.

Easier to say than do ... but we feel better and profit from it mentally in the long haul.

ecchh validates all rumors about rap in general.

Did slim shady say he was having heart failure and looking for a new protege? Cause you won't be it, kid.

Go back to the drums, last bastion of the non-musical.

I guess, but this isn't anywhere close to a final draft. It was just something I had written. I will agree this isn't anywhere close to good, unlike my other songs. But I've always been angry about it happening, and have never let go. And today I think I might have been converted into a bully because of it. I don't take sh*t from anyone. But like I told my parents, if I saw them both today I would probably put them in the hospital. And it isn't too childish if you take a harder look. But thanks for your honest oppinions everyone. It means alot.

Patrick, I agree with using ur experiences as fuel, however success is the greatest revenge. In addition, i do understand that this is just a rough draft and ur going to clean it up a bit. When I write I try to think radio play. Keep plugging and do what u do!

This is just a short rap I wrote, more so of a prelude, just something short. It's about the maggots who f**k with me during middle school, the endless torment never went away and this is how I feel today about it. It's just something short. So please give oppinions please, such as: should I continue to expand the rest of the lyrics?, should I keep writing it out to a full fledged song? Oppinions please. Thank you!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Prelude (In Dishonor of 2 Pricks)....

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a saying: The best form of revenge is success. Success is so "in your face" when you present it to a loser, in your fullest grace, while you rollin in your cruiser... past that place, that keep him from his future....and so on .

Guns Knives, Weapons, bombs all instruments of destruction and break down. Don't know about you, but I been shot at... More lethal than that bullet , was the poison I grew inside called hate. (That sh*t will eat a hole through your kidneys, liver and stomach... ). I had to let it go
Dude, you're crafty enough (by the lyrics you posted). Ever noticed that the best stand up comedy acts are the ones that did the lease focus on vulgarities? I'm saying your lyrics here get the point over, but they aren't interesting..cause everybody talks about shootin up the town..Its old news bro... Take out the common language in your song and replace it with something that compells me to rally for you against the bullies of the future...

Peace-Out!

Guns Knives, Weapons, bombs all instruments of destruction and break down. Don't know about you, but I been shot at... More lethal than that bullet , was the poison I grew inside called hate. (That sh*t will eat a hole through your kidneys, liver and stomach... ). I had to let it go
Dude, you're crafty enough (by the lyrics you posted). Ever noticed that the best stand up comedy acts are the ones that did the lease focus on vulgarities? I'm saying your lyrics here get the point over, but they aren't interesting..cause everybody talks about shootin up the town..Its old news bro... Take out the common language in your song and replace it with something that compels me to rally for you against the bullies of the future...

Peace-Out!
[/quote]


Well struck PaperDog

I'm pissed off about a lot of stuff, but I channel into my singing and music. When I hit the stage, that's where the fuel comes from. Unfortunately, the media likes to teach us that to be badass it has to come to the "fight" and the way people are afraid of you is because you can easily get violent and kick their ass. That's not the way to be because then when you get older or at your most vulnerable moment, that's when someone comes along and kicks your ass. That's the legacy of karma.

So channel your anger into something else.

Chaeya

I am totally agree with your oppinion.this blog post is very encouraging to people who want to know these topics.

<a>hospital plans</a>
<a>glitter products</a>

nice post

http://www.abmahnberatung.de
http://www.99centarticles.com/how_to_wr ... icles.html

Seriously though, I would never put this out as a serious song...ever. This mini crap rap I wrote is nothing compared to my serious, in depth, lyrics. I just posted it to see what kind of constructive criticism I could get from it. And I got quite a bit. Your oppinions count, so I'm not gona stand up and act like I'm tough and cry about how people didn't like this, I'm to humble for that. Lol. Your criticism just allows me to build and learn and evolve. Thanks everyone.