OK... So I don't know anyone here and this is my first post, but this is something I have a great deal of experience with! (I've been married 4 times! My second died... Far worse than a divorce.)
My first divorce really broke me up. It was one of those, wife runs off with a friend, divorces. (Had a 9 month old son too.) At the time, I would have forgiven everything, nearly 40 years later, I'm glad she didn't cave, as the woman is still a whiney pain in the butt. Vindictive and controlling. The guy who has her now deserves her. Oh, we still talk a bit, but she's just so depressing. She hasn't figured out that life is what YOU make it. She still expects happiness to fall into her lap.
My last divorce was more than a HUGE sigh of relief! Until I was out, I never realized how oppressed I was. 20 years with the bitch of the universe... I call it my Rip VanWinkle years. Except I wasn't just asleep, I was living a nightmare. (The death of my second wife left me depressed and not all that functional. My third wife keep me in that state so she could have control.) I woke up one day and realized that I just didn't love her and couldn't continue down that path.
Just don't go wasting your efforts with emotional dead ends. I don't know your situation, but I do know that in mine, while I had every reason to hate the woman, I realized that hate takes effort. Not only that, you have to CARE to hate! The opposite of love is indifference and that's where I settled. When you can drop all the emotional baggage and consider that the most important thing out there is you, then placing importance elsewhere becomes easy. It may sound selfish, but if you're not healthy, physically and emotionally, putting yourself first is the most important thing you can do. When you are healthy, putting yourself first allows you to give everything you have to something or someone else.
Good luck. It will all work out. It may have taken me 4 shots, but I finally found the perfect woman. We travel the paths we travel for a reason. If we're paying attention along the way, we discover what's most important to us.
You can't lick air!