General Music Chat

give her a ring

That's the last thing you want to do other than getting her pregnant. Personally I would NEVER have a girlfriend or WORSE a wife in my band. The emotional garbage that may be transmitted to the rest of the band can be toxic. If she WEREN'T your girlfriend I would make MORE of an attempt to teach her the bass. I've been involved with a few band members whose girlfriends/wives had too much influence on those members. Call me chauvinistic (I'm not) but I'm leery about girlfriend/wife band involvement. After some of the crap I've been through I'm sticking with the guys thank you...

BOB! Chauvinist-poser!

Chaeya

I couldnt imagine having my GF in a band with me. Even if she did play an instrument.

In my history of playing music no band Ive been involved with ever stuck together with a female in it. From my point of view you have the sexual tension, plus all the other bull sh*t that every band has anyway. If the female isnt involved with someone over time someone wants to be with her, or her husband of BF gets jealous of the guys in the band. I dont think thats chauvenistic. It just is what it is.

If you GF doesnt want to play bass, then I think your a dumbass to even try it. If she wants too fine, but if she doesnt it wont work.

Good Luck with your band, and finding a bass player

When your private relationship spills over into your job (& music IS a job!), it's bound to cause the inevitable "spill-over troubles." Band-mates are leery of you, cuz you have an automatic twin vote, & if your relationship gets shaky, so does the band. (Fleetwood Mac certainly had THEIR problems with it!)

I just don't recommend it for 99.9999999999% of couples, & that pretty much goes for ANY job you have, save farming, where you are not working in the same room all the time.

It just isn't healthy to spend that much time with any one person, no matter how much you love them.

Having one's significant other in the band will bring many issues with it that many ppl think are best avoided...like me, for instance...

Thanks everyone for your opinions I agree with alot of people and I don't want to have her in the band anymore.

Get lessons at TrueFire... Cheap and effective

After some of the crap I've been through I'm sticking with the guys thank you...

I've got to agree. I've had nothing but problems with women in bands. If she's your wife/girlfriend your drummer will try to shag her. If she's
your singer's wife/girlfriend they'll inevitably form a little power bloc and
out vote you. If she's nobody's wife/girlfriend then more than one of you
will try to shag her....and don't tell me you won't out of respect....let's be honest...men are dogs. If one of you succeeds....game over.

Cheers......Cristofe

Oh yeah, the respect factor. It is 'earned' not given. And we all know how it's earned don't we? So, if you want your band to suceed, find a male bass player and everyone take a vow of selibacy. Right?

find a male bass player and everyone take a vow of selibacy.

Uh, I don't get it. If you've found a male bass player why then would you need to take a vow of selibacy (sic)?? Unless, of course, your all GAY!!

Ooops sorry Cristofe I meant to say 'or'. Keep in mind, abstinence works 100% of the time. But then again can a dog make or keep a vow? Probably not. Not too many men or women these days can keep thier vows.
I personally wouldn't know, but doubt if being gay would help keep members of a band in focus either. You'd have to ask a gay band.
When all is said and done, putting together and controlling the interpersonal relationships of a 'sucessful band' isn't easy. If it were, everyone would be doing it. I would guess that's why all the 'shagging' is going on... That part is easy.

I guess that's the cool thing about getting older, all I care about is success and making money now, and luckily all my musicians in the band care about the same thing.

Chaeya

Great attitude Cheaya! Checked your tunes. Outstanding! You should do well if not already!
In my old age, I only care about playing and doing it as well as I can. I don't expect to find those proverbial 'needles in a haystack' band members with the chemistry to make for the next 'super band'. I just hope I can avoid as much drama as I can in the search. I think at the very least I'll have fun and get that sense of accomplishment doing what I love....

Well struck Prevaler.

A watched pot never boils.

If your search fate it will pass you by.

Do what you do, and let fate take care of himself.

Thats weird.....IM a bass player lookin for a band! I live close to BREWER and could do some jammin with you huys if your interested.

You're GF wil NOT play bass! Face the facts and get on with your life!

That's not what girlfriends are for. OOOPS.