United States

From 1974, a brief and touching correspondence between a season's ticket-holding Cleveland Browns fan and the stadium management:


"I am one of your season ticket holders who attends or tries to attend every game. It appears one of the pastimes of several fans has become the sailing of paper airplanes generally made out of the game program. As you know, there is the risk of serious eye injury and perhaps an ear injury as a result of such airplanes. I am sure that this has been called to your attention and that several of your ushers and policemen witnessed the same. "

"Dear Mr. Cox

Attached is a letter we received on November 19, 1974. I feel that you should be aware that some asshole is signing your name to stupid letters.

Yours very truly.
Cleveland Stadium Group"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br6F0RnETwU

Those ain't paper airplanes.

"God bless America!" Once again, respectfully, I say to myself: "What the f**k does that mean?" God bless America? Is that a request? Is that a demand? Is that a suggestion? Politicians say it at the end of every speech as if it were some sort of verbal tick that they can't get rid of. "God bless you and God bless America! God bless you and God bless America!" I guess they figure that if they leave it out someone's gonna think they're bad Americans! Let me tell you a little secret about God, folks: God does not give a flyin' f**k about America. OK? He doesn't care! He never cared about this country! He never has, he never will. He doesn't care about this country anymore than he cares about Mongolia Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, the Suez Canal or the North Pole! He simply doesn't care, OK? He doesn't care! Listen! There are 200 countries in the world now! Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites? Why would he do that? Why would God have a favorite country? And why would it be America out of all the countries? Because you have the most money? Because he likes our National Anthem? Maybe it's because he heard we have 18 delicious flavors of Classic Rice-A-Roni? It's delusional thinking! And America is not alone with this sort of delusions. Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their f**k time! Could it be... everyone? Now... now... If people wanna say "God Bless America", that's their business, I don't care, but here's what I don't understand: If they say "God Bless America", presumably, they believe in God and if they do, they must have heard, God loved everyone! That's what he said, he loved everyone and loved them equally! So why would these people ask God to do something that went against his own teachings? You know what these "God Bless America" people oughta do? They oughta check with that Jesus fellow they're so crazy about. They're always talking about "What would Jesus do?" They don't wanna know so they can do it - they just wanna know so they can tell other people to do it! Well, I'll tell you what Jesus would have done. I'll tell you what Jesus would have done! He would have gone up on the top of the Empire State Building and said: "God bless everyone around the world forever and ever 'till the end of time!" That's what Jesus would have done, and that's what these people should do, or else they should admit that "God Bless America" is really just some sort of an empty slogan, with no real meaning except for something vague like "good luck!" Good luck, America! You're on your own!... which is a little bit closer to the truth!
"God Bless America" ~ George Carlin

Hey, Mike. For God to not care about America, wouldn't he have to exist? You're contradicting yourself.

Hey, Mike. For God to not care about America, wouldn't he have to exist? You're contradicting yourself.

Well, it is a George Carlin quote. Carlin, an atheist, still used God for comedic purposes (as do I). Albert Einstein, another one of those crazy atheists, would use God in the abstract to make his point. I sometimes do that.

When I say "Go to Hell" or "Goddamn", I don't literally believe a God is going to damn anyone to Hell. Besides, I've been to Hell. It's no biggie.

Hey, Mike. For God to not care about America, wouldn't he have to exist? You're contradicting yourself.

Well, it is a George Carlin quote. Carlin, an atheist, still used God for comedic purposes (as do I). Albert Einstein, another one of those crazy atheists, would use God in the abstract to make his point. I sometimes do that.

When I say "Go to Hell" or "Goddamn", I don't literally believe a God is going to damn anyone to Hell. Besides, I've been to Hell. It's no biggie.

It is literal ... your and my personal intent is irrelevant.

It is literal by your understanding...

By my understanding anyone using that phrase has only damned themselves to hell by assuming they can command a fate only God can decide for that person.

I personally feel Hell is relative to the individual, and indeed some go there before they realize their own spirituality. Some are doomed to spend the waning years of their lives in regret for bad choices earlier in life.

Some live a life fearing and praising a God they do not understand.

It is literal by your understanding...

By my understanding anyone using that phrase has only damned themselves to hell by assuming they can command a fate only God can decide for that person.

I personally feel Hell is relative to the individual, and indeed some go there before they realize their own spirituality. Some are doomed to spend the waning years of their lives in regret for bad choices earlier in life.

Some live a life fearing and praising a God they do not understand.

Well put ... and I concur with your conclusion.
It is literal.
HE is the only judge.

And WE can never understand ... that is the first premises of FAITH.

Who could understand the eternal, the all-powerful, or the all-knowing?

I know I can't!

All I can do is to put myself in His shoes, & I would sure get tired of the whining & the begging & the pleading & the praising after awhile, & tell ppl - "Look! I gave ya free will. Sometimes sh*t happens. Figure a few things out for yourself, or get over it, or give in. It's all up to you!"