Hey Chip, I hope you don't mind my two cents.
I like the essence of the song and the ambience. I like drum and bass and that genre. This song has such great potential.
But I don't like the drums. I don't think it fits with your vocal arrangement and sound, unless you use less words and draw them out more. I would direct you to Yello and how Dieter Meier uses his voice. It works.
I also would stay away from Phil Collins and seek something more original. That's just me.
I would start off with a slower more defined drum pattern then if you want to increase it later or at certain points, that would be interesting while still keeping the ambience. Try a lower, huskier tone of voice because it will fit better with the mystical, ambient sound you have going or play with some different sounds of your voice until you find something really unique. Think Leonard Cohen, but less depressing. I love when guys do that.
I listen to a lot of Delerium, Enigma and Yello.
I've posted the video to "Sitting on the Moon" by Enigma. I love this song because I listen to it while working on my novel. But you can listen to his voice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctF_gAqQelE
I hope you don't mind, I'm not saying you should sound like them, but it's only for ideas.
Chaeya