johnnya,
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You might not be expecting any real help from your post, but here it is, for what it's worth to you.
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Maybe you need a written plan of your goals.
Huh?
If you can write down exactly, specifically what you want, that's a good 1st step.
Step 2 is to write down every obstacle to your specific goal that you can think of. Everything which might prevent you . . .
Step 3 is to write down any and every possible SOLUTION you can think of.
Step 4 is to write doen any possible source of help you can imagine; from old friends to the Library.
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Key words: "WRITE DOWN," and also "possible."
If you can't write it down, it's not a goal; it's only a vague wish . . .
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And if this is all too much trouble - than maybe you could decide right here and now to give it up and give your energy to whatever is more important to you.
I've used this planning method before, and I HAVE actually decided a goal would require more time than I was prepared to offer . . . . Once I realized it, I could dismiss it, & move on to the NEXT goal . . .
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Brainstorm, man. Make these lists as long as you can.
Set a timer for 10 minutes for each list. Take as long as you NEED, but do NOT leave a list before the timer goes off.
Often the solution comes after all the obvious answers are drained away, and you're left silently pondering for a few moments . . .
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No one knows more about your goals than you.
After reading your lists, the answers will leap off the page.
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Most people spend more time planning their vacation than they spend planning their life.
Spend an hour planning.
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Here's some more (unsolicited) advice: Instead of waiting for your ship to come in, row out to meet it.
Those ships can be pretty big, and they can't always get close enough to port . . .
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There something which you need to do TODAY to step closer to your goal. I don't know what it is, but you can readily find out . . .
If this is all too much trouble, well . . . it's good to find out now, huh?
