General Music Chat

Welcome to the world of the older working adult band.

Well-put, that. Good one, Zip!

I know a lot of flaky musicians. Isn't that part of the creative wandering mind mind? It sure seems that way at times. Not a few, but most of the musicians I know have had their problems with meeting commitments.

After years and years of dealing with other musicians, I just have to take the wait and see attitude when one tells me they are going to be somewhere at a certain time. I realize that their words really don't mean jack sh*t immediately after they have left the lips of some.

I have been in the musical instrument and amplifier repair business for many years. Try working with them outside of music sometime if you don't agree. Any more I make it clear. You either be where you say when you say you will be there or 10 minutes later I won't be depending on you to show up. I always show up when I say I will. I am punctual to a fault. I make every effort to keep my commitments. Sometimes life does things that will hinder that. But very seldom. And when it does I let anyone involved know.

As they get older some of the them have become slightly more dependable. On the other hand, born flaky die flaky seems to be the rule. Just like anything else. It seems like the passion starts things rolling, then lethargy sets in. Go figure.

Commitment is not what it used to be. Society seems to accept that to a greater degree, so the problem is all over the place, not just in the musical realm. People just say what they think you want to hear a lot of the time.

Perhaps I am the only one to have those problems with people?

@ Slacker. Well said.

If rehearsal starts at 7, be there at 6:45 at the latest. Whats so damned difficult about that theory? lol

Friggin A man.
I got some friends and family that are late for every freakin thing they do.
I don't / can't understand that mentality.
It's like (insert obligation here) is at 19:00hrs so I'll stop doing this at 18:59hrs.

Oh and don't both asking why their late, unless you like spending the next 1/2 hour listening to their lame ass excuse.

Sans that is so true.
Mrs Jones was allways late for her graduate college class scheduled for 8 am.
She was allways exactly 10 minutes late. When the professor asked her why she was allways 10 minutes late, she went into a long explanation about how she had to get tommy on the bus at 7 and suzie on the bus a 7:20 and make lunches ,and be sure her husband had the proper tie to match his suit,and,,,
At that point Mrs Jones had taken up another half hour with her explanations and the exasperated professor turned to his scholars and explained that from day foward he was willing to excuse Mrs Jones her 10 minutes of tardyness.
She was greatfull.
The next class ,,,, Mrs Jones was right on time,,,,8:20

Well, you are up and moving away.
That's the mother of all 4pm weddings.

Why get all uptight about gig commitment when you are bailing?

Because moving away in the future is not an excuse for being unprofessional. That's like saying, "Hey, you're quitting your job in a month, so why even come to work?"

Responsibilities - it's what separates us from guys pumping gas. I like to have some f*cking dignity and respect for what I do man. Be a professional.

I know because most of us are "weekend warrior" bands and because of that people think it's a valid excuse for unprofessional behavior. People approach this sh*t like it's a "hobby" and thus our industry gets treated like such. Maybe that attitude is why here in the US venues don't want to pay and we have such a hard time finding paying gigs.

I just got back from two weeks in Europe. My fiance is a professional singer over there. She makes a living singing. She has various bands she works with and she works for hire. She's a pro. People tell her what songs to know and she shows up on time and ready. No rehearsals. Everyone in the band knows their sh*t. Seeing her and her bands in action for two weeks was eye-opening. It makes bands in the US look like tinker-toys. We look like absolute f*cking dorks compared to them.

So I get back and get called for a PAYING GIG. Something rare around these parts these days. And what happens? My drummer bails because of a wedding. I get it - it's a wedding. You have to go. But you don't have to go for the entire night if you don't want to. There's plenty of time to make the gig. Sh*t, I'll take his gear and set it up and have it ready so all he has to do is land his ass in his seat at 7pm and start playing. But he didn't even consider it. He didn't even TRY to figure out a way to make it work.

That's what ticks me off. He didn't even try. He just said "no can do".


It's just annoying. It's amateur, and I'm tired of trying to keep a band together and establish us as a professional, reliable piece of entertainment and then watching it unravel every couple of months. I'm sick of the unprofessional behavior. I'm sick of people not taking it seriously.

I mean, sh*t - I'm no ogre. I'm no taskmaster. We have loads of fun at practice. I've made sure to prune all the bad influences from this band as soon as they revealed themselves. We only let good people in this band. We have fun; we joke; we laugh. We keep it light. All I ask for is that people have their own self motivation and their own drive to be a professional. That they take it seriously when it counts.

And then someone doesn't.

I don't want to have to motivate people. I don't want to have to teach people the importance of being a professional. I don't want to have to give them the drive to be serious. And I'm tired of playing in my basement. The whole point to this was to play SHOWS. So when the one rare opportunity comes along to play an actual SHOW what happens? And a paying show at that?


I'm just tired of the whole thing. I want more people in the band like my singer and me. If I had four or five people just like us, we'd have constant work and we'd kick ass...

Oh well. Flush it down the drain. Time to start over.

Time to do duets, because at least I can count on my singer to make a show a priority.

Colors, that looks like something I've wanted to type out forever, I think what you described is the new American way...unfortunately.

Man I must be the luckiest SOB in the world or truly blessed.
We have been together since 2005.
The dedication just keep growing even with the newer members.

YEAH BABY !!

If you're in a band and have a supportive woman(especially if she doesen't care for your music, then you've got it made! It's not as rare as some may think either.

Hope I'm not getting too off topic with this, but, I just met a girl who used to sing in recitals and musicals, who just happens to like some of the music I do. We're talking about trying to see if we might work well together. But...here's the kicker. We're also trying to set up a date here soon(as in romantic interest). I'm wondering if that could end up being a problem for starting a band.

I'm sure someone here knows about this kind of ordeal by experience, or has seen it first hand.

I apologize in advance if I'm veering off topic a little. I mean, we're talking about girls and band sabatoge here.

Looks like Colors could offer some input for sure.

Colors...
I bet some of those guys pumping gas would punch you in the face for saying that.

What do you mean 'Be a professional'?
Commit to a gig that you know is going to do your life way more harm than good?

If you've already committed then that's a different story - show up and have your sh*t down.

P.S.
It is your hobby.
You are not a professional musician. You are a computer programmer.

Colors...
I bet some of those guys pumping gas would punch you in the face for saying that.

Tough. I call it like it is.

What do you mean 'Be a professional'?

If you have to ask, you don't know.

P.S.
It is your hobby.
You are not a professional musician. You are a computer programmer.

You and I see things differently then. Because something is a "hobby" or side project, I do not see that as an excuse to be unprofessional.

I take my sh*t seriously. I expect the same in return.

Looks like Colors could offer some input for sure.

I can offer some input on this one...

My fiance is a professional singer in Germany, as I've said. So she understands my passion for music and I understand her passion as well.

We like a lot of the same music, but we're not identical. And that's okay! It's normal! She has some stuff she likes that I don't care for and vice versa.


We have talked about doing a project together; we've talked about doing our own things as well. We both know music will always be a part of our lives. Maybe the chemistry works out so that we work on a project together; maybe it doesn't. It won't matter, because our love will always be there, so our private life will always be fine.

And I think that's the key. The romantic part of the relationship has to be the priority. That has to be #1. If the music works out, great. If not, then separate projects - and that should work because you both are musicians and know how important that passion for music is in each of you.

I think as long as you can keep things somewhat separate you're okay. What I mean by that is this: Your private, romantic life can't show up at rehearsals and shows. You have to be professionals about it. Music time has to be about music time and not making out and getting distracted by each other. It's unprofessional, for one, and it's going to irk everyone else in the band as well.

I wish you luck man. I think having a partner/spouse who is also into music is a giant boon for a musician. Because the other person has some understanding of how important music is in your life; at least much more of a clue than someone who doesn't understand the passion at all.

My ex-wife had no care for music and as such could not understand my passion for playing music. She resented my time spend with my bands at practices; she resented me going to shows. It sucked.

I know with my fiance that is never going to be a problem

And this goes to something that is important in relationships whether it's music or not: you need to support each other. Period. Whatever the passions are, you need to support each other. If you can support each other's passions that can only strengthen your relationship/marriage.


Good luck to you man! I wish you well on the date. Let us know how it goes

Colors...
I bet some of those guys pumping gas would punch you in the face for saying that.

Tough. I call it like it is.

What do you mean 'Be a professional'?

If you have to ask, you don't know.

You'd be best served to join a group of pros then.
An existing group that doesn't have day jobs or other careers.

There's a whole other thread about expectations and forming a band Somewere on jere.
P.S.
It is your hobby.
You are not a professional musician. You are a computer programmer.

You and I see things differently then. Because something is a "hobby" or side project, I do not see that as an excuse to be unprofessional.

I take my sh*t seriously. I expect the same in return.

But...here's the kicker. We're also trying to set up a date here soon(as in romantic interest). I'm wondering if that could end up being a problem for starting a band.

I'm sure someone here knows about this kind of ordeal by experience, or has seen it first hand.

My advice would be to pick one or the other my friend. It has worked out for some people, but for the majority that I've known through the years, it has not only broke up the band, but it also ruined the relationship.

Just what I've witnessed over time, yet I've never been in that situation to be honest. Good luck with your choices bro!!!

Hmmm... That's interesting.