General Music Chat

Just wanted to add, please don't think i'm having a major go at you here, just think you may have lost the plot on this occasion, can't see wood for trees, we all do it from time to time. Not talking down to you either, just sometimes we all need to take a step back and re-evaluate.

To sum up, No you shouldn't be mad, just fed up will suffice. : )

Just wanted to add, please don't think i'm having a major go at you here, just think you may have lost the plot on this occasion, can't see wood for trees, we all do it from time to time. Not talking down to you either, just sometimes we all need to take a step back and re-evaluate.

To sum up, No you shouldn't be mad, just fed up will suffice. : )

No problem. Not taking this the wrong way. I asked for opinions, you gave me yours.

I think he should be able to make the gig; I don't see why he can't spend 90 minutes at the wedding and then make the gig. But hey - his choice.

I talked to a friend who is a drummer in another band and he's agreed to do the gig, so we're all good to go. I'm jacked.

Aback-up for every position should be one of the band goals. Each player should be active in finding a stand in for their spot. This is logical and makes common sence for the longevity and reputation of the band. You too will wish you had a gun for hire one day. You are not beyond being Human.



Sans you are a Texass baldheaded redneck. You would fit in perfect around here.

Aback-up for every position should be one of the band goals. Each player should be active in finding a stand in for their spot. This is logical and makes common sence for the longevity and reputation of the band. You too will wish you had a gun for hire one day. You are not beyond being Human.

Yeah, but Klug - this area is too small for that. It's hard enough getting ONE band together Let alone backups for everyone. Just too small geographically.

We're making due. This gig will work out and then life moves on. I am moving to JW's neck of the woods later this summer (hopefully; contingent on finding a new job) so I just need to keep things rolling until then.

I understand, not preachin just sayin.

I realize that I am the odd man out on this.

I believe family and good relationships within a family should take priority. You can't just post pone a wedding either, and perhaps, depending on whom you are dealing with, it may not be socially acceptable to cut and run either. Naturally, I have not always felt this way.


Given that I understand the importance of not letting down your band mates. A gun for hire has always been the emergency standard. I have been called countless times by club owners asking if I would play lead guitar for road bands that had a show to do but found themselves in the same type of fix. Most of the time for a full week at a time, and I in turn would make arrangements and get the approval of my band mates to do so. I would always line up a lead player who was more than adequate to meet their needs. It always worked out for me and them. And I felt it was better to help out fellow professionals than to leave them without a gig after a long haul to get there, whenever possible. More than once I went on the road with a band for a few gigs until they could get someone else if I wasn't doing much at the time. I hated to go on the road.

After expenses, I made more money as a guitar for hire in town.

So I can see both sides. Drummer for hire or any member for hire is a problem but not a reason to dump someone if it is something that happens only once or twice in a bands life. Especially if they are a good player and work well in the group. After all, life happens. Life just doesn't care if we have a gig or not. So I'm not really on either side.

Well Said.

Just wanted to add, please don't think i'm having a major go at you here, just think you may have lost the plot on this occasion, can't see wood for trees, we all do it from time to time. Not talking down to you either, just sometimes we all need to take a step back and re-evaluate.

To sum up, No you shouldn't be mad, just fed up will suffice. : )

No problem. Not taking this the wrong way. I asked for opinions, you gave me yours.

I think he should be able to make the gig; I don't see why he can't spend 90 minutes at the wedding and then make the gig. But hey - his choice.

I talked to a friend who is a drummer in another band and he's agreed to do the gig, so we're all good to go. I'm jacked.

See there! It will be okay.

Slacker has made a valid point again as he usually does.
I too believe in strong family support and relationships.
But as Klugmo pointed out. I am a Baldheaded Texass Redneck.
When I read "girlfriends mother's wedding" I just have to roll my eyes a bit.
I just don't consider my third cousins nephews ex wife's fifteenth wedding a priority.
I got to stand by my initial assessment lacking any other information.

D.I.A.P.W.W. ...


But I'm glad you got the gig worked out Colors.

Forgot my main point here. ( been a long day )

What if said spineless drummer were to marry said controlling winch??

She'll have the final say on all your gigs.

Hey, color me wrong if ya think I'm off base here.

It's just my opinion.

:oops: Forgot my main point here. ( been a long day )

What if said spineless drummer were to marry said controlling winch??

She'll have the final say on all your gigs.

Hey, color me wrong if ya think I'm off base here.

It's just my opinion.

Sans, I'm with you on all of this.

And honestly, if I were sticking around, I'd have to considering making my backup drummer the permanent drummer. Because he's a serious guy. Only problem is, he and my singer don't really get along, which is why it didn't work out the first time. I am hoping for this one gig everyone can play nice

I'm moving this summer to VA/TN area - not sure when, but soon. So this band is going to break up eventually

The color of things is simply this, harmony. Straight talk is an always winner. Not happy? Say something. I do.
I could handle anything you threw at me but I'm just not near you,
Wishing you well and hope that you find it. It's there.

Best regards.
Chipfyrer.

:oops: Forgot my main point here. ( been a long day )

What if said spineless drummer were to marry said controlling winch??

She'll have the final say on all your gigs.

Hey, color me wrong if ya think I'm off base here.

It's just my opinion.

Now that truly is a scary thought as well as a good point.

I have had more trouble with band members wives and girlfriends than I ever did with pig headed club owners. Some musicians do let them take far too much control over everything they do. And when they start trying to run the band, and some do try, that really is the breaking point.
I hope that isn't in play here. Regardless it needs to be nipped in the bud. For me, the best thing to do was to have the whole band tell him exactly what a disappointment it was that he let the band down. He needs to tell his homeys they should have some respect for commitments that were made with the group.
I think a band members commitment to the band deserves as much respect as his commitment to his family. You all have invested both your time and effort in him. He needs to respect that.
A marriage or a death of a family member is a one time thing. (Sometimes samey samey) Most of the people that come to those events often travel far and don't show up for just anything. For that reason I could understand his not getting to run off early. And I also understand how disappointing it is and how unreasonable it appears to the other band members. I guess that is why I need to remain neutral.

We all hafta balance our work, whether it be day job or music biz, with our personal lives.

While I don't necessarily see a wedding to be out of line at all, in making oneself absent, there would seem to be the issue of all of his other planned absences. Looking at the bigger picture, I'd say that you were just fed up with the guy even before this possible gig came up. This is the last straw for you.

Unfortunately, the importance of a wedding in one's family (yeah, I know - "she's JUST a gf" - you'll hafta read that as "family," too!), is a perfectly valid reason to miss this gig.

I'd set a time, later, for discussion of all those other dates he "has" to miss. Seems as if you want & need someone who's more available, to fill your needs.

Perhaps this new guy will work out in a more permanent position. If that's the case, it's your duty to keep everything calm & cool as you replace your present guy, so as not to burn any bridges, while obtaining your goal of having a full-time drummer.

Who knows? You may need him to sit in for his replacement at some future important gig.

Just my useless two cents' worth of advice...

Hope it all works out, for everyone involved, both for now, AND for later.

Well, you are up and moving away.
That's the mother of all 4pm weddings.

Why get all uptight about gig commitment when you are bailing?

Welcome to the world of the older working adult band.