General Music Chat

I have struggled with alcoholism since I was 13. I have lived all the stories. I am functional and nonfunctional at the same time. Don't judge him. Just know that his torture and suffering is over now and that some envy him now.

I have some difficulty with the neo psychological approach to explaining self destructive behaviors. They are the end result of personal choices in our lives.
Why do we continue to look for the reason for mans tragedy when a mans tragedy is the reason?

George, a lot of these people are self medicating.
Too proud, too dumb, too poor, or too stupid to go out and get some help to balance their brains out.

I cant be around a drunk or a druggie, but especially Mr. drunk.
My downfall I guess as a spiritually under developed person.
Intervention should be for the shrinks or the family members.

Choice, WOW that would be nice.


Perfect people ruin life for the rest of us.

I can't be around spiritual or underdeveloped people.
Maybe thats one of my downfalls. I know a guy who died.
His brother was stealing from his business and his wife was
cheating on him for years.

This guy was a modern day MR. Cleaver. Broke my heart.

I don't expect you to agree with my assessment.
But yes choice! Truth is not judgmental it simply exists. Denial does not change it.
I am an fornicating, alcoholic and drug addict. Clean by choice.
I am not different or special from anyone else, perfect ?? yeah that's it I'm perfect. LOL

Lead follow or get the f**k out of the way.

Just trying to point out that nobody is perfect. Yes we all have choice but we don't all have the strength that obviously you do. It gives me hope to hear of your success. Alcohol has been my shadow for so many years now that being functional is my success. Taking care of me is not an option right now in my life. I wish you continued success.

Klugmo, they have pills for you.
Makes you puke your guts out if drink even a slight amount of alchahol

I have more than myself to consider.

Actually, I think the reason he died alone was really a direct result of his drinking. Ppl tend to back away from it all after awhile. I know I do.

I've sorta known him for 10-12 years or so, very casually, not in depth or anything. When he was sober, he was certainly okay. When he was drunk...well, I backed away. And when I heard about his continual everyday use, I backed away even farther.

I know he was married at least twice in that 10 year period. He's been divorced this time for over a year. He always seemed to latch onto wealthy older women, & then get booted out for drinking.

Yes. It's tragic, but he wrote his own life story, didn't he? Just like each of us writes our own.

There are plenty of ppl I try to help, but there are some things I figure are just out of my realm to help with, & addiction is one of them.

It's one thing when bad things happen to good ppl, but something else again, when ppl do bad things...boy that sounds bad...but I don't know how else to put it...

I'll miss the guy, in a way, but I don't think he could ever have made that big an impact, simply due to his choices in life.

I have more than myself to consider.

Thats a good thing, but in the long run sometimes we need to take care of ourselves before we can truly take care of others.
Theres another side of life besides providing food and shelter, or assiting those who need help physically.
You have to consider the emotional realm also.
Im sure some people care very much what youre going through.

You seem like you got it going on, Klugmo. Good for you, man!

Too few ppl can do that, once they get terribly involved in anything.

Hell...I can't stop smoking cigaretes! I can't imagine being hooked on anything harder. Dunno how I'd be able to handle it, either. I think it's that fear that kept me away from it all...

They are the end result of personal choices in our lives.

I don't think any reasonable person would argue with that.

I think there is a question about why they make those choices.

It's probably too late for the addict, but maybe if we understand why they made the choices they did we can help someone else avoid those choices. Maybe not, but it's only human to try.

There does come a point, though, where you have to walk away. You can't help, you can only enable and destroy yourself in the process. And, yes, that is tragic. It being the fault of the person who has destroyed themselves doesn't make it less tragic. In my mind, it makes it more tragic.

But that doesn't mean you can do anything about it.

aiki-mcr

Ah yes, someone whom almost understood my point of perspective.
It is the human tragedy that causes the poor life choices.
Not poor choices creating tragedy.
Though a difficult concept for many to grasp allow me to attempt to clarify.

I do not deal in fault, only responsibility.

IE Fault, as in it was my fault denotes blame or condemnation.

Responsibility is simply the point of origin, not a condition of "blame".

No emotional attachment to responsibility, it simply IS.

George- excellent points, pretty much mirrors my viewpoint, choice is the beginning and end of this issue. Some may not like it, but that's the way it is.

I've heard lots of excuses, used them myself. One guy told me he drank too much because his father was an alcoholic. Know what I told him? Your father didn't pour 2 gallons of beer down your throat last night, YOU did that on your own so stop blaming it on someone else.

I drank 2-3 six packs a night then a 5th of whisky or tequila every night for around 7 years. Every night...Nobody made me, I did it on my own. I was about half a frog hair from a nutcase to begin with, you didn't want to know me when I was a drunk...I was doing lots of drugs too - pot, coke, speed, just about everything you can think of except heroin and morphine.

I quit over 30 years ago. That was also my CHOICE. I'm damn glad I did, I wouldn't be here right now except for that one decision. Say what you want to, think what you want to, it still boils down to exactly what George said originally. Choice.

KLUGMO - I'm damn proud of ya dude, You chose to get clean, that's a good thing. You may have to do it one day at a time, but keep it that way. Keep making that same choice every day. Believe me I know what it's like at least at first. I have no problem with it now after 35 years, never even think about it any more. The first couple of weeks was not easy...although not near as difficult as many people, I simply walked away and never looked back, got away from everyone I drank with and it was a done deal.

I'm no better than anyone else, I just made a good choice for once...

PHIL - I'm still trying to get off cigarettes too, and it ain't working...that's the worst addiction I know of, from what I've heard and read it's as bad as heroin...but I'm still trying. And yes I know, I chose to light that smoke a few minutes ago...bad choice...

Cool view sans. I respect it.
May not fit most Human characters though.
Suspect it requires a level of disipline that
would be foreign to most.

I think I was lucky in my youth.

In my teens & twenties, every time, & I do mean EVERY time I drank to excess, I'd get sick. Didn't like that feeling.

As I aged, I got over that, but by then my patterns were well set, & it just never really interested me all that much, probably due to seeing all my friends get stupid when they got drunk, & I never wanted to look like that.

I've been told I'm quite amusing when I get a lil sloshed, but I also recognize the possibilities to get a lil mean, too, & somehow avoid it. It's rare that I feel secure enough to let go to that degree, though, either within myself, or with the ppl around me, & I just don't do it.

Never having experienced what so many others have makes it difficult for me to understand it. I never could relate to a drunk.