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#104544 by Kramerguy
Tue Mar 23, 2010 6:10 pm
Recorded using an open-room recorder at rehearsal, so engineering isn't applicable.

Three new songs:

Stereotypo
So This is Love
Please Don't Wake Me

Just looking for comments on melodies, arrangements, etc..

enjoy!

#104549 by philbymon
Tue Mar 23, 2010 7:00 pm
Listening now...

"So This Is Love" - I don't like the change at :34. It just seems awkward to me as this transitions into "Smiling Happy Pplness." I'm sure it's just a personal preference. The key change at 2:45 is kinda clever. I like the way the bass follows the melody line at the beginning & end.

"Stereotypo" - Imho, this needs to be done in a higher key. She should be shouting this energetically instead of reaching down deep for the melody. That would give it the punch that you're reaching for, I think. The end shows a little of what I'm talking about. It should be like that all the way through, with an Offspring kind of approach. High energy!

"Please Don't Wake Me" - Very melodic, Kramer! I like this song. The recording quality, of course, do none of these songs any justice, but I can hear the true value of this piece far better than I could the others. The change at 2:11 or so was unexpected, but not bad at all. I'd love to produce this one.

I'm not a big fan of this singer, though. She doesn't seem to fit the songs well.

#104551 by Kramerguy
Tue Mar 23, 2010 7:10 pm
Thanks for the input philby- I agree with most of your observations

odd thing though, fitting a type - For instance, my best work I've done on bass- but I have little passion for it compared to elec guitar. This is the analogy I'd use on Val- Her best foot is probably in the country-pop taylor swift range, yet it's opposite of where her passion is. I think when we get the keys right, things will fall better into place. The demos I posted last fall were of the same issue, the keys being too low for her range.

Stereotypo I already capo on the 3rd lol 8) Gonna have to move up a step or two!

#104572 by KLUGMO
Tue Mar 23, 2010 10:58 pm
Kramer I will comment on the vocals only since that is my area. My comment is the same for all three songs. The singer doesn't take any chances at all. She could hopefully sing in a higher key but even then she needs to bring some excitement to the songs. Hit a note here and there with some power and some personality. Maybe she was reading the lyrics while singing, that will sometimes take the personality from the vocals. All and all the songs weren't bad.

#104576 by gtZip
Tue Mar 23, 2010 11:29 pm
'So this is Love'
- Thats the best one to me.
Have her sing it a octave higher. On the high parts have her go low. Flip it, basically.
I would change the end of chorus meoldy if it were me, but meh... it isnt me.
A little tinkering and it will be a good one I think.


'Sterotypo'
- Nope.
I would just ditch that one.

'Please Dont Wake Me'
- Dont know about this one...
It's ok I guess, but it might numb the audience members. Put them to sleep.
See the Beatles song "Im only sleeping". -A song about not waking him that doesnt put the listener to sleep.

#104580 by gbheil
Tue Mar 23, 2010 11:49 pm
Soo glad your posting music !! :D

I liked Stereotypo fast enough and punk enough for me to enjoy.
Love to hear a better recording where he dynamics of the bass and drums are more pronounced.

So This Is Love ... not bad just not my thing. Could be better with a higher vocal register as previously suggested.

Please Don't Wake Me ... didn't.
Something seemed out of place, as if the vocals were intended to be melancholy but the melody is cheerful.
Hard for me to put it into words to explain it.
I bet you'll understand my meaning just the same.

Thanks for posting MUSIC !!

#104730 by Kramerguy
Wed Mar 24, 2010 8:38 pm
thanks guys for the feedback!

I'm taking them down now, since they were scratch tracks... need to work on them some more :)

Will repost new versions someday, depending on each songs fate :P

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