General Music Chat

I second everything Phil just said. Phil - you're a sage man.

I just went through a divorce. Mine was different from yours in that I was the one who initiated it. I won't go into detail about my divorce, but I will say this:

1. Phil is right about #3 - get back to being YOURSELF. We tend to lose ourselves in bad marriages. You need time by yourself now to get YOU back. Rediscover yourself!

You cannot get into another relationship until you get yourself back and until you are happy with yourself again. Only when you're happy with yourself can you worry about sharing your life again.

accept the fact that you chose the wrong person.

Exactly. You must do this. It's okay. We all make mistakes! We're human! Don't beat yourself up about it. Just admit it and move on.

Also, talk to a therapist if you can afford it, because they will ask valuable questions your friends will not ask, and it can really, really help the healing process. I know. It helped me a ton.

The only thing you can control is your responses, & the best way to control your responses is to control your emotions.

Again, brilliant advice. The only thing you can control is YOU. So work on YOU and work on controlling YOUR emotions.

the most important bit of advice I could ever give someone in this situation is - KEEP BUSY!

Great advice.


I'd add this: Realize that this too shall pass.

You ask how you get over a divorce? The answer is simple: One Day At A Time.

Realize that the sun will rise tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after. Take it one day at a time.

Getting through a divorce is like passing a gas station on a long stretch of barren highway. Once you pass it, it's in the rear view mirror, but you can still see it. Yet every second you get further away, until eventually it's just on the horizon, and then it's gone, and the only thing that is left is the memory of the place you drove by. And after a while, the human brain distorts the memory; you'll forget details and everything will blur and eventually it will just be a fog of a memory.


And it all happens one day at a time.


Hang tough man. We've all been there. It does pass.

Cry scream yell. kick stuff... whatever. No matter how hard you try to bury it, it still rears it's ugly head. I tried doing stuff to keep busy. Didn't work. Tried to get "Social" that didn't work.
Then one day it just all went away. Like any other wound, it heals in time. You can't rush it. Betrayal is simply the worst. It is so much like the death of a loved one.

Eventually that empty feeling will go away. All breakups can be hard. I've dumped, and I've been dumped. Being the dumpee is harder, but only on you. The last time I thought, so this is how the other person felt when I dumped her. Then I knew I had it coming.

I guess what goes around comes around. But it all goes away in time.

Today I just took the day off. I slept a hell of a lot. Didn't know I was that drained.

There might be a woman I've known for awhile in the works, but I'm going to take that slow if she comes around.

Violence is out of the question. Those guys can have her. I would only need to fight if I had to, but I really doubt that will happen.

And yes, I did change my number and kept all my info unlisted, so that's good insurance.

What you guys say about music has been true. I think I'm in love with my six strings more than ever! Last night I started writing again and came up with some cool ideas. Funny thing is, the majority of it was from the inspiration I was getting from watching the SYFY channel. I didn't really get into the she done me wrong writing.

Time to play, write, find a band, and get something brunette to sit on my lap. ...all in good time.

I've got to try to be a good boy though. My views on marriage and morals sound pretty similiar to sanshouheil's way. I don't think a quick fix lady will solve anything.

You guys are awesome. Thanks!

I can't offer any advice on divorce because I've never had one, but it sounds like this might be a huge relief to you. Definitely get into your music much more, you only live once, go for it. You're going to have more time to devote to it so dive into it headlong. Don't even worry or think about women for a while. This is YOUR time, nobody elses...

It is a relief. Right now I'm going through this weird transition. Sometimes it stings, and other times I'm happy and content. It's like a bouncing ball. I can feel the healing process. I'm sure by next month I'll be back to myself for the most part.

Right now, my guitar is sitting in front of me asking me to play. I'm sure I've gotten a little rusty, but I'm gonna make this thing speak none-the-less.

Time to smack on this beautiful SG Standard!