Thought I'd address some of this point by point, sorry if I repeat what some have already said-
Shred9 wrote: but I still make all the time in the world for my wife and especially my son. Everytime I go to leave the house to go rehearse or to record somewhere my wife starts accusing me of cheating and saying that everything I do with music is just a waste of time (both of which are completely absurd).
This is really horrible of her, she's trying to control what you do, and who you are. By accusing you of cheating, she's basically asking you to NOT play music, go out, etc.. and stay home to reassure her that you are devoted to her. Her understanding of devotion is certainly not normal or healthy.
She then calls music a waste of time, intentionally putting you in a position of defense and trying to convince you that nobody cares. She may be doing this out of jealousy, I'd bet she doesn't have any serious hobbies or anything like music that she devotes herself or her personal time to?
Shred9 wrote:Then she reminds me of the fact that that's how we met in the first place. Now the marriage hasn't been good ever since I picked up an axe again after an 8-year break from the scene, but I still do everything that she likes to do together with her and my son; so in essence nothing has changed other than the fact that I'm writing and playing music again rather than racing Supercross and Motocross.
I don't quite understand what you mean by her reminding you that music is how you met her, but on the other part, I too, took an 8-year hiatus from music. I told my wife up front, that music was always a part of my life, and since she's also a part of my life, she needs to understand that not every part of my life will revolve around her, and also encouraged her to find her own hobbies and stuff.
It sounds like your wife isn't willing to share you with anyone, or anything, without having jealousy issues.
Shred9 wrote:She's really a mean-spirited person to start with so it's my bad for getting involved in the first place, but now there's a 5-year old boy thrown into the mix that I just won't ever let down. If she knows that I'm recording in my studio, she'll come out just to be a jerk and ruin the track as it's being recorded.
That's just harsh. She knows what she's doing, and the fact she does it anyways, combined with all the above things you mentioned, all comes down to one very cold and upsetting fact- She doesn't respect you. Not only that, she openly (I assume in front of your son too) disrespects you. To me, that's the make or break of any relationship. It is the one defining moment of every failed relationship in my life. I've always found that once a woman crosses the line of disrespect, the relationship is doomed.
Shred9 wrote:I just built a new house and my son keeps telling me that he wants to "get away from the mean girl" and that if I leave, he "has to come with me."
I'm surprised and amazed that a 5-year old has that much insight into your relationship with your wife. It sounds like you need a lawyer. I would also consider "pawning" ALL of your gear to a close personal friend that you can trust, both to not sell or take your gear, and also to keep his/her mouth shut to the wife/friends. Do the same with any other valuables you don't want to risk losing. Women, no matter how crazy, tend to really hit the lottery in divorce courts.
Shred9 wrote: Being treated so horribly every day for absolutely no reason at all is killing me and my spirit to the point of feeling sick everytime I have to go back home. I'm at a loss as to what I should do at this point so I just keep taking the abuse so I can be with my son everyday and protect him and provide him with all the necessary tools needed for a decent life.
That just sucks. Everything I said above applies as a response here.
Shred9 wrote: Has anyone else here been in a similar situation? If so, how was it remedied or wasn't it? If all I can take away from this terrible situation is my son and ALL of my gear, then so be it. I've only been married once and I can honestly say that I'll never do it again after all of this runs it's course. Do any of you have some helpful advice or guidance to offer? All of this stress is killing me!!!!!!!!!
Sadly, I'm happily
married and should it ever end, I also would never, ever, do it again. There's just too much risk for very little, if any, reward these days. It's by far easier and cheaper to just live together (or apart if your state supports common-law marriage), and if a kid comes into the picture, the worst you are in for is child support. You get to keep both halves of what is yours, assuming you didn't get joint accounts and stuff.
Meh.. now I'm just preaching...
But seriously, get out, the faster the better. Every day you wait, will be another day lived in regret. Sure, it's going to be ugly, but remember, no matter how nasty it gets, your life is YOUR life. The kid, even if you lose custody, can be coached into making mommy miserable to the point where she will beg you to take him.... hint*hint