General Music Chat

We have a show tonight, sort of. We host the open mic locally-

Our *new* singer pulls a no-call no-show last night (practice), which wasn't entirely unexpected, as he was a bit wishy-washy to begin with (and a bandmix contact, so it was probably doomed before I ever found him), and I just got an email from our other guitarist, saying 'after much consideration...'
he's bowing out, leaving us hanging out to dry for tonight's show.

GRRRR. WTF is up with musicians these days? As far as bands go, this is the tightest, and most open and honest, decent band I've ever been in. We are 100% respectful and supportive, and we are TIGHT, we're not sloppy or crappy. I just don't get it.

Now we go into a show with our songlist severely hindered because we've been working on a bit of new material that requires more than just drums and a lone guitar. Damn I'm really annoyed.

Hey Kramer,

Sounds like you answer your own ? in your post...Now you know that a musician being able to make the statement" tightest, and most open and honest, decent band I've ever been in. We are 100% respectful and supportive, and we are TIGHT, we're not sloppy or crappy" IS RARE.. SO, you sensing from the beginning that he was jicked, HE may have not wanted to live up to the example set by the rest of ya...I used to think the same thing when someone wouldnt fit into a seemingly perfect situation,then I got to thinkin, they would have to change THEIR Norm too much to fit in...So, you sensing his flakyness early on is why its not surprising you that much that things turned out the way they did...I know you coulda figured that out but sometimes its good to read another persons assessment.


John

You are exactly right, I just needed to vent.

I also mentioned the tightness just because I'm really surprised that we've had SO many people flake out and I think back to when I was a young'un , how RARE it was to find people who even remotely had their crap together..

Ah well, the search continues...

The KIDD is right here Kramer man. I've run into that situation far too many times myself where people were expected to play so far out of their comfort zone that rather than being honest and saying that, they just took off never to be heard from again. Not everyone is as driven and dedicated as we are with our music; we eat, sleep, and breath it everyday unlike many others. I feel your frustration though because what they did was absolutely wrong and rude to say the least.

Too bad we're on opposite sides of the state bro cause I'd gladly sit in for ya to help out if I could get there in time. I got really good at improv hanging with the Jazz crowd in college. I'm sure that you'll pull a rabbit out of your hat and things will work out fine for ya man. Good luck!

Dude, All I can say is that F'in SUCKS. Hate it for you HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. Pisses me off and its not even my band. Double GRRRRRR!!!

I feel for ya, Kramer. Hey, if things don't start working out better for me around here, I might just hafta up & move to your neck o' the woodses just to get to PLAY something with someone.

I did, however, get another email from that guy I talked to, from here on BM, 5 or 6 weeks ago who was moving & didn't have time right then. Seems his old bass player resurfaced, & wants to play with them again. Now he's talking about using me on vocals, rhythm guitar, mandolin & keys (I don't have any keys right now, & haven't honestly worked with them or mandolin for a few years, but with a lil practice I'm pretty sure I could pull it off). It seems like something that could actually be a bit interesting for me though, as I love bands that switch instruments around occasionally.

I'll keep ya posted how it's going.

Hope things get better for you, Kramer. That really does suck big time, & I'd never give them another chance to play with me again, if they'd done it to me.

I HATE FLAKES!

Yea, Hell has a special place for men with no balls. No one should make an obligation unless they fully intend to fill it. When you leave someone elses butt swingin in the wind, Dude thats low life as hell.

The KIDD is right here Kramer man. I've run into that situation far too many times myself where people were expected to play so far out of their comfort zone that rather than being honest and saying that, they just took off never to be heard from again. Not everyone is as driven and dedicated as we are with our music; we eat, sleep, and breath it everyday unlike many others. I feel your frustration though because what they did was absolutely wrong and rude to say the least.

Yeah, with a more level head, I can see the mistake was mine- We knew he wasn't a ringer when we auditioned him, but were so desperate to get someone, we felt he had "potential" and he really wasn't a bad player by any means. We discussed it and felt that maybe we DO have the right to expect better talent. Maybe we are better than we give ourselves credit for.

Too bad we're on opposite sides of the state bro cause I'd gladly sit in for ya to help out if I could get there in time. I got really good at improv hanging with the Jazz crowd in college. I'm sure that you'll pull a rabbit out of your hat and things will work out fine for ya man. Good luck!

Things did work out, we dodged a major bullet for the 2nd time, although we did run out of stuff to play around 11:30'ish PM, by that guy not showing up, it crossed several songs off our list that just required at least one more instrument. Most everyone who came up to play with us wanted to sing (open mic) At one point we just started playing stuff that we both vaguely knew and could pull out of our asses. Fortunately, after playing Iron Man (yes, we got that desperate), another band came up and wanted to do a few songs, so it gave us a break.

enough rambling from me...

Don't get me started on quitters. There's nothing more frustrating than people who quit. It seems like it's happening more and more these days. Not only people quitting, but people DISAPPEARING, no phone calls, e-mails, NOTHING. Hasn't anybody got the guts to COMMUNICATE ANY MORE? Am I that intimidating that you can't you don't even have the courtesy to call me? What's everybody's friggin problem? Not enough testosterone? Someone should start a new group like Alcoholic's Anonymous, call it WIMPS ANONYMOUS. These idiots need to go to a WIMPS ANONYMOUS meeting and tell their story. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH EVERYBODY? Later...

That really sucks...out loud even...

I hate it when things like this happen, I've been through it twice since I've been in this redneck dump I've been in for the past 5 years. People should have the decency to just pick up the phone...

1st band decided to replace me when I finally got it across that I didn't intend to drive 3 hours to play for $75, band leader told me he was going to find someone to fill in for me out of town, next thing I know he has some other guitar player's name on the sign at a local gig. My name was never there, and it was the same idiot that "sat in" one night, took over the show and hogged the lead, played leads on top of me, way too loud, got there drunk, tried to start a fight and his drug head girlfriend tried to steal my strat...the guy hires him to replace me and puts his name on the sign and I'm still waiting for the phone to ring and him to tell me anything...and my mother was at that gig, her first time to see the band...needless to say she wasn't impressed...

So I auditioned for another band. Not bad, needed a lot of work, but hey nothing else around here so I grab while I can. Practice for 3 or 4 months ($10 gas every trip, every week, sometimes twice a week), we're getting pretty good but still no permanent drummer and band "leader" calls one night about 6 just before I get home. I look at caller ID and call back, no answer, leave voice mail. Next day I call, no answer, leave voice mail. Same every day for 3 weeks, won't answer the phone or return my calls. I wrote it off as a lot of time and gas money wasted on a jerk who doesn't have the guts to tell me himself I'm out of the band...guitar player they got later was nowhere near as good, I've heard him before and wasn't impressed at all. Beer gut, solid state amp, mediocre player at best, definitely not a singer...

But I think after I wasted three or four months of my time, practiced to learn country songs I hate because THEY wanted to play them, pumped well over $100 into my gas tank (that I could NOT afford at the time) not to mention hauling a 85lb amp around, the guy could at least have the decency to call me back...after all, I was calling him back the whole time, never did find out why he called me...

I think this goes right along with the "Flaky Musicians" thread from a while back, where a number of other similar scenarios were posted by various forum members.

Kramer, Pete, I got one for ya.

I've worked with this drummer who "can't stand confrontation," as he puts it. He's oh so sensitive that when he double books, or has family problems that interfere, or just doesn't damned well feel like it, he doesn't show up for practice & doesn't even call to tell you. Then of course he has to avoid you until things calm down. He won't answer his phone when you call to ask what happened, or if he's alright. (One time he did this was when his mother died. Took me 2-3 weeks to find this out from his father. His father's real old, & you never really know if there's an actual excuse or not. Another time, he'd broken his foot.) After that, he'll call you & give you a thousand exuses for his shortcomings, & promise to do better. Then he'll be religious about showing up for awhile, until his lack of guts & simple human decency shows itself again. He was all I had to deal with for about 4 years. I think he even has an ad on here in BM, somewhere.

The worst of it is that I kinda like the guy, in spite of his lack of backbone. He's funny as heck, & a pretty good drummer (he used to drum in that hard/metal band "The Obsessed" in the '80's, they're on utube). He's also a reformed alcoholic, so he never gets poop-faced & ruins a gig, never drinks at all. He never failed to show for a gig with me, but I've seen him do it to others, always in my favor. I've given him more chances than I ever did anyone else, & I don't for the life of me know why. I'm a nazi with most ppl on this kind of crap. With him, I turn into his confessor or counsellor or something. Last time he called me about a new project, I said ok, & started to work with a guitarist I'd worked with for a short time once before. We started things up about 6 weeks ago, & next thing I know, the drummer calls me & says he just can't handle it, & is gonna call the guy & drop out. The other guy got the impression that the drummer just meant he was out for one practice, & kept calling me to set up new practices & complaining that he couldn't get through to the drummer. I told him he'd quit, & we'd best just put things on hold for now. It took me 3 convos to finally get through to the guitarist that the drummer was a true flake.

Don't you just love it when ppl put you in the middle to explain thier shortcomings?

Of course I won't work with that drummer anymore, but I won't call him to tell him so. In fact, if he calls me for something in the future, I'll tell him it sounds great & I'll be there, & then I won't be (if it isn't a paying gig that would ruin my rep). Flook the lil poopy-pants, feather-filching, dirty, rotten, no good, simple, son-of a-sea-cook, low-life, low-rent, low-minded, time-wasting, stick-busting, phone-wasting, pea-brained, bass-turd! (He ain't even worth REAL cussing!)

Thankfully, I've finally found a drummer who treats you right, tells you up front if he can or can't do something or is interested in your project, & is a fun person, too.

Congrats Kramer man! I knew you could do it. That rabbit don't come easy, but once you've got the ears, you've won. You got the ears bro and pulled it out! On another note, don't ever underestimate yourself brother as a musician. Musicians are always their own worst enemy (including myself) and that leads to settling for something that you don't deserve in the first place. Realizing what you're capeable of is the first step in deciding what type of person that you need to find. I see that you got it figured out now and that'll only help you in the future. I hate fakes and liars just as much as everyone else does, but there's no way to get rid of all of them, so we experienced musicians must push on and sift through the bullsh!t. That's where the term "FRUSTRATION" really comes into play now isn't it?...

Great job on turning a possible failure into somewhat of a success brother! That ain't easy, but you got the rabbit man!

I can sympathize Kramer. We had our singer flake out on us and leave during the SOUND CHECK 1 hour before the show was supposed to start. We're all set up, got the levels all set, doing a sound check to make sure we're all good. Half way through the song he forgets the lyrics, then says F you guys I'm outta here.

Walked off the stage in front of the building crowd. Walked out on us, the fans, the bar owner and manager, what a mess.

We pulled the show off. We all sang a couple of songs (none of the rest of us can really sing anything but back up so it was BAD) my GF who can sing sang a bunch, and 2 audience members came up and helped out. Almost like a version of live band Karaoke, with a set list. Bowling shoe ugly, but we pulled it off. The bar manager asked us as we were tearing down when we'd be back.

I feel for you man. Where are the professionals these days???

Sounds like a blessing in disguise Mike..Think of how bad that gig coulda turned out if that cat hung around?.Yeah , boys and girls, as I look back and also in reading everyones posts of stories of how adversity was overcome , it makes me think of my fondest road memories..They were the ones where the appearence of things to come looked bad, THEN when it got really serious, and everyone was REALLY put to the test, the outcome was usually more than we coulda hoped for...Seems we take it for granted when things merrily roll along without conflict...AINT FAIR IS IT?

John

Well that's the thing KIDD, we definitely looked at it as a gift when it was all said and done. It was just a tough pill to swallow that night.