General Music Chat

this "friend" I have known since 1992 (the year I moved to Missouri) is the dude with the big PA system Mackie board Crown Power amps, spectrum analyzer, that I have played with from time to time, and also the guy that threw me under the bus last October, now keeps harassing me for a loan, he wants to trade me a 110 VAC Power Generator new in the box the kind that makes electricity from a gas engine) for $100.00.. I told him friends are not pawn shops, and a week ago I said I would loan him 100 bucks but later in the same conversation over the phone , he said they, Patrick, Crystal and him) could find nobody good enough on guitar here in Springfield and were all moving to California soon.. now I'm leery of loaning him a 100 bucks since I think he's now a flight risk?.. some of these people are people Lynard has jammed with, and although I was quitting them last October they beat me to the punch telling me they did not want me back because of my smugness..cut to the chase, should I loan them a 100 bucks?, should I take the 400 dollar new in box generator as collateral for a 100 dollar loan? or blow it off altogether?

I miss Ann Landers?

I dont loan friends money or hire them, it just always backfires, it seems you always lose the money and a friend too boot, if you need the generator just buy it for whatever its worth.

I would just rather give a friend some money with no strings attached if Im able too.

The generator is probably stolen.

I have acted as a pawn shop before if someone had a guitar or amp I really wanted. I would offer them 1/2 the street value for it and they could buy it back in 30 days if the got the money. After 30 days it was mine. The true temporary hard luck guys always found the money. The addicts never did. I picked up a nice 65 Fender Vibrolux Reverb that way.

Tell him to take the generator to a pawn shop. If this guy dumped you, is he really still a 'friend'?
Or if you truly want to help him, but want to be sure that you get your money back, make him sign a loan agreement: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/loan-agr ... plate.html
Make sure he knows its legal and he will need to pay to get it notarized (unless you are an AAA member, where you can ge them notarized for free).

I dont loan friends money or hire them, it just always backfires, it seems you always lose the money and a friend too boot, if you need the generator just buy it for whatever its worth.

I would just rather give a friend some money with no strings attached if Im able too.

Sage Wisdom... I'm the same way...For friends in need, I try to be there if I can. I pretty much never expect it back...and if they try to pay me back, I tell em to just hold on to it and buy me a dinner sometime.

But I have no compunction to tell them if i cant help them... .. They seem to respect that.

...Dane ... I am in agreement with JW123 regarding your dilemma. The key to the entire process is the definition of friend or acquaintance ? Often we misuse the word friend in that the relationship does not run deep enough to be considered that. I believe friend is a mutual thing working both ways. It sounds like to me that this guy is not truly your friend but that is your decision to make. The best policy when loaning friends money is to give it with no strings attached and look at it not as a loan but a gift ...do not pressure them to pay you and if they are truly friends then they will in fact pay you ...eventually or do some barter that negates the loan. Cajun Daddy has good input as well I believe meaning if you need a generator and are prepared to take a chance that it could be stolen you may get a bargain.

When I lived in Dallas we had just finished rehearsing one night and were all in the parking lot talking and such when a guy with a pickup drove up. It was in the afternoon and he opened the small camper and showed us a bunch of New Telly's with fairly large screens. They were in the boxes and all nicely wrapped in plastic. The Bass player wanted one and was speaking to the guy....during this conversation the guy freely admitted that they were "freshly" stolen. It was the usual acting cool thing and so the Bass player asked me what I thought. I told him that for me it was easy ... after the guy said they were stolen then I viewed them as "salted" so would never buy one. Well he bought one and the guy drove off and we took it in and unwrapped it and discovered that it was in truth an older TV that was discarded and reboxed in such a way that the screen was mostly all that was visible and a shiny sticker had been applied that stated it was inspected etc. It did look new until the veil was taken.

The cost of this was $100 oddly enough. The Bass Player was disraught but I think he learned his lesson. I told him that he should not feel ripped off as it was a small price to pay if truly learned and later would serve him well. We all agreed. Then I handed him a piece of paper that I had written the license plate number down on. The cops were called and within the hour the guy was caught and luckily the Bass Player actually got his money back.

A delightful little story related to a "smug" man.

Ta Live Well Die Well

I won't loan or cosign a loan for anyone, friends or family. It just makes things weird.

...Dane ... I am in agreement with JW123 regarding your dilemma. The key to the entire process is the definition of friend or acquaintance ? Often we misuse the word friend in that the relationship does not run deep enough to be considered that. I believe friend is a mutual thing working both ways. It sounds like to me that this guy is not truly your friend but that is your decision to make. The best policy when loaning friends money is to give it with no strings attached and look at it not as a loan but a gift ...do not pressure them to pay you and if they are truly friends then they will in fact pay you ...eventually or do some barter that negates the loan. Cajun Daddy has good input as well I believe meaning if you need a generator and are prepared to take a chance that it could be stolen you may get a bargain.

When I lived in Dallas we had just finished rehearsing one night and were all in the parking lot talking and such when a guy with a pickup drove up. It was in the afternoon and he opened the small camper and showed us a bunch of New Telly's with fairly large screens. They were in the boxes and all nicely wrapped in plastic. The Bass player wanted one and was speaking to the guy....during this conversation the guy freely admitted that they were "freshly" stolen. It was the usual acting cool thing and so the Bass player asked me what I thought. I told him that for me it was easy ... after the guy said they were stolen then I viewed them as "salted" so would never buy one. Well he bought one and the guy drove off and we took it in and unwrapped it and discovered that it was in truth an older TV that was discarded and reboxed in such a way that the screen was mostly all that was visible and a shiny sticker had been applied that stated it was inspected etc. It did look new until the veil was taken.

The cost of this was $100 oddly enough. The Bass Player was disraught but I think he learned his lesson. I told him that he should not feel ripped off as it was a small price to pay if truly learned and later would serve him well. We all agreed. Then I handed him a piece of paper that I had written the license plate number down on. The cops were called and within the hour the guy was caught and luckily the Bass Player actually got his money back.

A delightful little story related to a "smug" man.

Ta Live Well Die Well

Nothing quite like having some intell (i.e license) to blackmail the assholes of the world... Good Call Vampier and a delightful story!

@jw123, thank you for your reply, he always starts his loan requests with something he has that I can have as collateral or straight out have for the loan to peddle it on eBay , I never ask him what he's got in return for the loan but he always volunteers this, I really don't need a generator, and I have helped this guy out before on a 300 dollar loan and he insisted I take his Tama drum set as collateral, money is not exactly growing off of me, so I did take the drum set, and then after months sold them off with his permission since he did not want to pay me back, that drum set took up a lot of storage space.. we were truly friends at one time but he has pulled some stunts that ain't quite cuttin' it..
@J7Band thanks for the reply, that is the irony about this "friend" he always makes good money driving a truck but he runs through jobs like water, either he feels he's being taken advantage of by the truck lines and quits, or gets fired for not "staying out" on the road.. I've told him countless times, to be treated like sh*t from a trucking company is standard in the industry, drivers are a dime a dozen, and anybody can keep a "truck between the lines" and the boss knows that a 13 year old can drive a truck, and that's why the boss treats drivers like crap IMO..
@ Guitar Mike .. I am thinking he is looking at me as a pawn shop the last couple years or so, he claims he has tried to convince Patrick the bass player to get me back in the band, I was going to quit anyhow last October since I can't stomach Crystal or Patrick, but think I am subconsciously pissed at Morris for going along with the consensus since he can't stand to be without a great bass player like Patrick..you know how drummers worship bass players.. I would not smoke pot with them at rehearsal and considered an outsider and not family for refusing to be a druggie...
@ Paper Dog.. thanks for the reply, I wish I could just write off a 100 dollar loan if he did not pay me back, but the economy has put a hurt on my business and money is not real plentiful for me lately..
@VAMPIER.. THANKS FOR YOUR REPLY, he indeed was a true friend back in the 1990's.. we even had band lineups with hellacious voiced female singers, but something would always fall through when we were 3/4 ways to being stage ready.. somebody would move, or a wife would tell a husband "no more band practice", equipment breakdowns, job conflict of interest, anyhow we would never get it quite off the ground with the GREAT singers we had rounded up and "recruited".. and I can't settle for anything less than a GREAT singer can't even live with a good singer..
@jimmydanger, thanks for the reply, you and I are on the same wavelength.. but sometimes I buckle under to my emotional distress of thinking something is suffering needlessly and I can alleviate that suffering with a loan, or feeding stray cats, but this Morris can't stand to accept the conditions required to be an over the road truck driver and then I'm supposed to keep bailing him out?.. he used to love to gloat about the cents per mile and health insurance he had at that one good trucking company he worked for running car parts from Michigan to Mexico border... I always had to endure his bragging, he'd call me on the phone a lot when he was driving down the interstates since it was a lonesome job.. he would never do "teams" driving..

If he's harassing you for a loan, it sounds like he's pretty much burned his bridges elsewhere and at the pawn shop, obviously. Some friends I do loan money because I know they'll pay me back, others, like this guy, no. He got himself in some trouble or he's a drug addict - and you'll be amazed by those "friends" who were addicts right under your nose.

Cisco loaned a few musicians money, but we didn't expect to get it back and we didn't. You never lend what you can't afford to lose. Like gambling.

Chaeya

If he's harassing you for a loan, it sounds like he's pretty much burned his bridges elsewhere and at the pawn shop, obviously. Some friends I do loan money because I know they'll pay me back, others, like this guy, no. He got himself in some trouble or he's a drug addict - and you'll be amazed by those "friends" who were addicts right under your nose.

Cisco loaned a few musicians money, but we didn't expect to get it back and we didn't. You never lend what you can't afford to lose. Like gambling.

Chaeya

he loves to live high on the hog, in good times and bad times..he is addicted to material possesions, boats, expensive houses, sport utility vehicles, which I do not hold against him, but he needs to lose some pride when it comes to OTR truck driving... he refuses OTR jobs if he can't be home every weekend!.. what OTR carriers allow that? not many.. if Lynard comes back here to the forum, ask him about Jeff Stockton who replaced me as guitarist, and let Lynard relay you some info about Morris, Patrick Nix, and Crystal

a little more info, and the I will shut up, probably should not be a gossip monger, but what the hey, Morris, called me a couple weeks ago out of the blue, had not heard from him since last October (almost a year ago).. he was distraught bitchin' about he was selling off the PA system and that he was the crappiest drummer in the world, no guitarists would work with him and his gang.. I felt soory hearing this, and told him by no means should he sell off that fabulous PA system (12 grand$$$+) for pennies on the dollar.. did not mention needing money.. then a week ago he wakes me up at 1AM calling me saying Crystal, Patrick and him were moving back to California soon and they would continue on as a trio w/o a guitarist and would work a guitarist in when they were tight? really?..Pat Crystal and him have been doing this for 2 years and still not tight?.. that is why I wanted to quit, last October, but they fired me a few seconds before I said I quit.. there main problem: working up cover tunes with too much production with only a 4 piece band, you can't do Tower of Power horn section stuff with a guitarist bassist drummer vocalist LIVE ON STAGE as an example..

If your willing to help and able to help just give him the money.

I don't loan money . . . when I have it to give and I feel there is a genuine need I just say here . . .

Most of the time, now that I do this this way the money comes back rather quickly anyway.

Loans . . . bad idea.

If your willing to help and able to help just give him the money.

I don't loan money . . . when I have it to give and I feel there is a genuine need I just say here . . .

Most of the time, now that I do this this way the money comes back rather quickly anyway.

Loans . . . bad idea.

I love this guy.

You don't really loan anyone anything, Just have a big enough heart.

Even banks lending your mortgage money, that is a business,,, Completely different.

Even a bum on the street,,, he is not really a bum,,, JUST FUUCKING HELP HIM! Obviously all the socialistic government agencies we pay billions for aren't cutting it.

So when an old time friend asks for a little bit of help,,,, What the FUUCK is your problem?
Give me his address,, I'll send him a 100$ if he needs it that bad.

GGGEEEEEZZZZZE!