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#143478 by Crip2nite
Mon Mar 28, 2011 6:56 pm
...your former bandmates set up a "jamfest" inviting anyone and everyone who plays locally to get up on stage for a night and show off their talents. To add insult to injury, I got an invitation to be a spectator. I have no beef with these guys and am still friends with them and converse once in a while on FB. I don't know if it's because I stopped playing the hard metal tunes I have in the past with them... or because I'm actually getting higher quality "paying" gigs unlike them or they just don't want me up there on stage? For some reason it really is getting to me to the point of depression as it would've been fun getting up there for just one night with my old friends. I'm hurt and very much insulted as them and their significant others are also friends with my wife and they've been to my house numerous times! I don't understand it and am thinking that there is a deep seated hatred toward me since I've gone "commercial". They never re-post my gig ads and they've not once come to any of my shows whereas my wife and I have done so. I wonder what happened.... don't have many friends here to begin with as I've been out of the loop for decades until I picked up the axe again 5 years ago.. I feel betrayed and I feel that the only reason for their "friendship" was because I was their lead guitarist...I also feel embarrassed because I was invited but not asked to play...

Just needed to vent... It would've been fun.. :(

#143479 by jimmydanger
Mon Mar 28, 2011 7:03 pm
With friends like that who needs enemies? There's a lot of jealousy in rock & roll, I wouldn't let it bother me much. The friends you have now are the only ones that count.

#143480 by KLUGMO
Mon Mar 28, 2011 7:13 pm
You should ask one of them off to the side about it point blank and
except whatever answer he gives you. Otherwise the embers will burn.
Don't get mad, just ask.
The friends you have now are not the only ones that count. If so this
wouldn't bother you the way it has. You do need closure though.

#143481 by jimmydanger
Mon Mar 28, 2011 7:31 pm
Bah. Hanging onto the past prevents you from moving into the future. Old friends don't matter, just like old girlfriends, old cars and old memories don't matter. Don't go, throw your own jam bash!

#143482 by KLUGMO
Mon Mar 28, 2011 7:50 pm
That speaks for itself.

#143483 by Slacker G
Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:34 pm
Crip,

Sorry to hear that. You can't let that stuff get on yer tits, as I have heard some say. Take it with a grain of salt.

#143484 by RGMixProject
Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:44 pm
Man, when you hear stories like this it really bums ya out. The music wars between genres is a really big monkey on the back.

sigh

#143487 by Crip2nite
Mon Mar 28, 2011 10:15 pm
I'm honestly thinking of stepping out for a while as it's not fun anymore and I'm putting waay too much time, energy and $$ into this only to realize I'm just getting sick and tired of coming home at 5AM on weekends.....sick of clubs.... wife , friends or family don't come down anymore... and really dont like about 60% of the tunes we do... I've got some serious thinking to do. :roll:

#143490 by sanshouheil
Mon Mar 28, 2011 10:59 pm
I don't know man.
I know a lot of guys who would like to have problems like that.

May just have to have a little "come to Jesus " meet with your buds.

No ... you can't let these kinds of things bug you but they owe you an explanation ... and you owe it to them to be forthright about your feelings.

Don't have to drag it around ... just throw it down and move on.

It's not drama to tell someone they are pissin on your foot.
It's drama to complain about it for two weeks.

If ya get my meaning here.

#143492 by ANGELSSHOTGUN
Mon Mar 28, 2011 11:06 pm
CMON OVER TO THE ALL ORIGINAL CONCERT SIDE, I'm waiting.

You had some pretty good material of your own posted.


Musicians can be really messed up, egos , unproven talent, rapidly appreciating self worth, and an ever increasing cruel way to prove their own self worth by putting down others.

Funny how hard it is to keep 2 together in a legitimate married method. Now understand the dynamics of a band, with 3 or 4 or more egomaniacs. No kids [cd or gigs], and the money is slow. The bad thing is the older you get the harder it is to find people that are sorta on the same page. and even worse you find out that 50 year old drummer can't go full out for a 2 hour show.

I thought you had some good things going on with the fuse. Dont get bent, success can be a better revenge than anything. Smile CRIP.

#143499 by 1collaborator
Tue Mar 29, 2011 2:14 am
It's not just the musicians anymore Glen . Seems to me people everywhere aren't acting right. Must be radiation sickness or just a new disregard for your neigbors and friends. I bet Crip's skills make them jealous and they know he would outshine the few crappy fiddlers there. It's OK to let these things bother you . I think it makes you better than them. You ought to show up and rock their asses off anyway.
I hate the bars and a lot of the crap I put with being in bands since the late 70s. I play a while and give it up for a while. I like doing covers and originals. But I don't think I'll give up the thing that I love and my sanity cause someone hurt my feelings over a jam. Just don't forget your real friends. If your family supports your addiction , keep on smoking !

#143502 by ZXYZ
Tue Mar 29, 2011 2:29 am
They're just jealous. (I've heard you play, Crip.) Image

#143505 by fisherman bob
Tue Mar 29, 2011 3:41 am
Crip2nite wrote:I'm honestly thinking of stepping out for a while as it's not fun anymore and I'm putting waay too much time, energy and $$ into this only to realize I'm just getting sick and tired of coming home at 5AM on weekends.....sick of clubs.... wife , friends or family don't come down anymore... and really dont like about 60% of the tunes we do... I've got some serious thinking to do. :roll:
...or some serious songwriting to do. We've talked about this before. How many times can you eat the same pizza every day without throwing up? It's like doing the same covers every day, over and over and over again, after listening to them over and over and over again almost your entire life. Originals is where you're headed my friend. There may not be any money in it, at least to start, but there's going to be a lot more satisfaction in it. Performing 60% tunes you don't like, NOT being invited to some FREE jam by friends, if I were you I wouldn't even care one way or another. You've got serious chops and I'll bet serious original ideas. I'll bet there's many very fine musicians in your area who would kill to get you in their original project...it's just waiting for you now. Don't take too long doing serious thinking. Take action and form your own band, your OWN music, do your OWN recordings. Maybe throw in some covers YOU want to play the way you want to play them. That's what we're doing and it KICKS ASS and it's FUN. I want to see a Bandmix forum post from you promoting your very own band and your very own tunes SOON. Good luck.

#143508 by Slacker G
Tue Mar 29, 2011 4:01 am
Crip2nite wrote:I'm honestly thinking of stepping out for a while as it's not fun anymore and I'm putting waay too much time, energy and $$ into this only to realize I'm just getting sick and tired of coming home at 5AM on weekends.....sick of clubs.... wife , friends or family don't come down anymore... and really dont like about 60% of the tunes we do... I've got some serious thinking to do. :roll:


Real close to the same reason that I hung it up for decades. Better to quit when it isn't fun anymore rather loose your love for playing your guitar. I quit too late.

#143509 by Shredd6
Tue Mar 29, 2011 5:01 am
I know your pain man. Remember my old song Burn? That band had 2 of my very best friends in it. Never see them anymore. They kicked me out saying I couldn't sing or play guitar very good. When they left, they never hung out with me again. It sucked.

But I moved on. I knew what I had in me. Who were they to tell me I couldn't do those things? Right now, I'm the only member of that band that plays music at all. And my song went #1 in Hawaii. That's huge for a Reggae band.

I run into our old drummer from time to time. He was in another fairly successful band around here for a while. And our 2 bands actually ended up on the same bill together. I always sought his approval after he kicked me out (he was the one who wanted me out the most). Dude didn't even stick around for the HaleAmano set. He left.

Later we actually played another show again. Only he was not with his band anymore. He was doing a 3-man drum off thing that night. He did stick around for our set. But not once did he ever say that I sounded good or did a good job. I gave him a CD, said "here ya go man", and never heard from him since.

I don't seek any of their approvals anymore. What's done is done. I probably see those guys once every 2-3 years. Whatever. I finally came to terms that I wasn't going to beg for their acceptance or approval. They know where to find me, and I always still treat them with respect when I meet up with them.

One other thing you might consider is reinventing yourself altogether. I was a Heavy Metal/Hard Core player myself. But I wanted a complete change of pace and scenery. Best thing I ever did. I'd grown tired of trying to be a Guitar hero, Heavy Metal God kind of player. The shows I play now are much more fun, the people are nicer, and my musicianship grew immensely. I stepped outside the box and took on a different challenge. Sure I felt like an odd man out at first, but I've settled into this genre quite nicely.

If I wasn't playing Reggae, I'd be doing this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz1rUZcBMEY&feature=related

All day long dude. There are some really badass Rockabilly and Psychobilly guitar players. Love it.

At some point you'll stop worrying so much about your friends. It's just a natural process if you ask me.

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