General Music Chat

ok, so how i write songs is i come with lyrics first and normally i just put them to music. i've been assigned to write a song by the other members of my band (that reminds i should update my myspace). the song needs to be fast and upbeat with not so upbeat lyrics. this is what i have.

Left eye tear bomber

Verse1:

Today i'm found out
been druged out
can't stand the way that i'm feeling

Obnoxious
and cut out
whats with the things that your saying

Chorus:

I've been gone today
for you've been sleeping to the sounds
of "I've messed up"

I've been gone today
and you've been faking with the words
"I'm knocked up"

I've been gone today
cause you've been breaking
and you're my night's good bye
Verse 2:

So she's knocked up, but not fessing up cuz your drugged out and always gone? and that's called a left eye tear bomber. and it's an upbeat song.

tough one. I'm having writer's block.

ok, so how i write songs is i come with lyrics first and normally i just put them to music. i've been assigned to write a song by the other members of my band (that reminds i should update my myspace). the song needs to be fast and upbeat with not so upbeat lyrics. this is what i have.

Left eye tear bomber

Verse1:

Today i'm found out
been druged out
can't stand the way that i'm feeling

Obnoxious
and cut out
whats with the things that your saying

Chorus:

I've been gone today
for you've been sleeping to the sounds
of "I've messed up"

I've been gone today
and you've been faking with the words
"I'm knocked up"

I've been gone today
cause you've been breaking
and you're my night's good bye
Verse 2:

I do too! Music and Feeling seem to come first? Not sure of anything these days but I'm still here.

So far.

yeah i its the main problem i'm having is the fact that it needs to be upbeat

(use past terms, example)

yesterday, I found out
she left my side, been knocked up ,

you get the point.

yeah, cool, thanks

Sounds like... Green Day

Yeah...temporal confusion there...I'd work on that, & if you wanna keep it upbeat, there will need to be some sort of transition that makes it seem better, too

good idea

how bout,
chorus
'bridge'

and for you I'd die
at least that's what I say while I'm high

2nd verse
I wish we were stable
then we'd be able
to make good on conception

Imperfection
and confused
what's a guy like me to do?

chorus
'bridge'

musical break

1st verse
gotta try to get my head straitened out
and in this mess shed my doubt
or maybe call your bluff
its time for tough love


maybe I missed the idea behind the song but its an idea

try praying about it, that always works for me
good luck

Ive been praying today,
that you were just lying,
when you said that,
you were knocked up!

Sorry I just couldnt help myself, whenever I get writers block I just shelf the song for a few days and come back to it with a little different perspective. Sometimes I just never come back to it.

Left eye tear bomber

Verse1:

Today i'm found out
been druged out
can't stand the way that i'm feeling

Obnoxious
and cut out
whats with the things that your saying

Chorus:

I've been gone today
for you've been sleeping to the sounds
of "I've messed up"

I've been gone today
and you've been faking with the words
"I'm knocked up"

I've been gone today
cause you've been breaking
and you're my night's good bye

Bridge:

you've made me
Echo: I'm sorry
you beg me
Echo: complete me
now

Verse 2:

Of course I've left out
won't let out
all the things that I'm feeling

Obnoxious
"you'll find out"
are these the words that you're saying

Chorus:

Bridge:

Chorus:

Bridge:

End

that's what i got thank you all for your help.

When I have a song I'm totally stuck on (lyrics-wise), I usually try to write around it, let me explain....

I usually start by writing a story about the theme or direction of my song (whatever that may be), including but not limited to, the different characters with details. ie. how you feel, how you think they feel, how you see things that are happening, as well as how they do, reactions both ways ect. ect.. almost a short story, or even a rundown of events and details on paper.
Then I review it and take what I need from it to see what fits, sometimes it even leads to other songs or song ideas. Works for me most of the time, might work for you.

There's many ways of pulling yourself out of the rut and every songwriter has their own method, some simple, some complicated. I think with time and patience, you will also discover a method that suits you.

Remember though, if you write too good of a song, you may end up with the job (in your band) lol

Good luck bud!

From a pure storytelling standpoint... it doesn't work because the main character isn't sympathetic (he sounds like a drug-addicted, immature, selfish narcissist... classic teenager).

So if you want to jerk tears with your story, you have to create sympathy for the reader. In this case, the listener. They have to feel like they can put themselves in your shoes (or the lead character's shoes) and empathize with that character.

If it were me, I'd rethink the 'story' you're trying to tell. I'd either change the subject matter (if I was set on writing a 'tear-jerker') to something more sympathetic, or I'd change the approach of the song. A song about a girlfriend getting pregnant and lying to you falls much more into the realm of something that Puddle of Mud might write (think "She Hates Me"). So that's the musical approach I'd take.

For tear jerk though... Hard to beat something like this:




The look in her eyes as if to say she fears nothing
All knowing smile like nothing has changed
She thinks I'm asleep while at night she goes on trembling
She thinks I don't know how her life's been rearranged

Can't move my arms, can't move my legs
Can barely move my eyes
To take in the last view I'll ever see
It's on the stand beside my bed a picture of my son
It's constantly staring back at me
Want to tell him that I swear that if I can I'll be there
Watching over him and every step he takes
How do I say soon comes the day when I must go away
What would adhear to a seven-year-old ear?
Words that would make it clear

I hope that you don't forget me
Don't let my memory fade
It's my greatest fear

My back is numb, my feet are cold
I fear that it's only a matter of time now
There's just one thing
I've got to muster the strength to say

Know that my love is forever
Know that and try to remember
Don't let my memory fade...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZdNo35ReHI