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#56189 by philbymon
Sat Feb 07, 2009 12:41 pm
Three Contractors

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; One from Illinois one from Tennessee and a third from Kentucky. They all go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Tennessee contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. 'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, 'I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

The Illinois contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the
White House official and whispers, '$2,700. '

The official, incredulous, whispers back, 'You didn't even measure like
the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'

The Illinois contractor whispers back, '$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire that guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.'
'Done!' replies the government official.

And that my friends, is how it all works in Illinois.

#56195 by Paleopete
Sat Feb 07, 2009 1:11 pm
Don't get me started...don't get me started... :D

Funny though...

#56198 by HowlinJ
Sat Feb 07, 2009 1:56 pm
I'd be laughin' my friggin' ass off if the story didn't reek of so much truth! :evil: :evil: :evil:

(seems like they don't call it "ILL" in oise for nothin' :wink: )

Good one, Phil
HJ

#56221 by gbheil
Sat Feb 07, 2009 4:05 pm
It is the damn truth, and it's no longer funny.
My wife worked 33hrs of overtime in the last two week pay period.
The goverment is giving over $900 dollars of her money to the people she owes car payments to. This is f**k insane. And it must stop.
#59923 by JohnM2009
Fri Mar 13, 2009 12:56 am
philbymon wrote:Three Contractors

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; One from Illinois one from Tennessee and a third from Kentucky. They all go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Tennessee contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. 'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, 'I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

The Illinois contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the
White House official and whispers, '$2,700. '

The official, incredulous, whispers back, 'You didn't even measure like
the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'

The Illinois contractor whispers back, '$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire that guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.'
'Done!' replies the government official.

And that my friends, is how it all works in Illinois.


And what's wrong with that?

#59926 by gbheil
Fri Mar 13, 2009 1:02 am
It' called stealing.

#59935 by ratsass
Fri Mar 13, 2009 1:36 am
Politics.
The word Politics is derived from the two Greek words "Poli" meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsuckers" :wink:

#59937 by ratsass
Fri Mar 13, 2009 1:43 am
A farmer is standing out by his fence one day when a (insert state of choice here) Highway Dept. truck comes along and stops. Out jump two men with shovels and one digs a hole. After he digs the hole, he moves on down about 20 feet and starts digging another while the second man fills in the first one. This goes on for about 20 or 30 holes and finally the farmer says, "Just what in tarnation are you two doing? Don't make no sense, one of ya diggin' a hole and the other fillin' it back up." The two men look at the farmer and one says, "That just shows how little you know about highway department work. Our third guy, Ed, that plants the trees is home sick today." :roll:

#59939 by ZXYZ
Fri Mar 13, 2009 1:49 am
LOL :D

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