United States

It's so cold in this place
It's being so long since I saw your face
I've lost my way.

Chorus:
I'm Trapped and I can't breathe
The waters rushing over me
I don't know where I am.

I feel like I can't swim
And I feel like I can't win
I've lost all sight of you.

Its dark and I can't see
The things right in front of me
I stumble on and on...
Until I find a place
Where I can see your amazing grace
Now I'm Free

Chorus:
I'm Trapped and I can't breathe
The waters rushing over me
I don't know where I am.

I feel like I can't swim
And I feel like I can't win
I've lost all sight of you.


*Copywrited by: Joe Hamsher 2009*

It's a song about a Mime!

Ok, all seriousness now. I think this song has a lot of potential especially if you have a great melody line. Hope you are not offended that I played with a few melodies with this to see. I have to do in order to visualize something. So I think you have something here. [/i]

I'd like to hear it in some musical context. Interesting rhyme scheme you have here. Dunno if it works for me yet, I'll hafta read or hear more before I can make that judgement.

lol no problem I did record it once, it was a long time ago like 2 years. And it was just a ...I thinkthe notes were...C# Eb to E B A I think...I can't remember and I have been trying to find the stupid thing! And the melodies were...not as good as I wanted...but netiher I or the guy who sang it...are very talented in vocals.

Like Phil, I'd like to hear your musical score also. Don't get me wrong, I've never had any formal musical training, just most of my life trying to make a livin' in this business. I also realize that the music of today is much different than it was when I started, well here's what I think:
Your song to me is structured for a Rap song, with the way the lyrics are put down. At least that's how it came out for me. I feel, with the right music behind you it would be a very good song. That's coming from a country boy... Good luck and do what you love, and love what you do......

BobbyAlan- I almost wanna post a picture of myself, and you will find I am the whitest white guy you will ever see...lol So I doubt rap is the way the song will go. But by tomorrow i should have the recorded version of the song up on my bandmix page...or I hope to.

Ok, I was thinking about it and I think you might have better luck with writing something if you structure it like this:

It's so cold in this place
It's being so long since
since I saw your face
I've lost my way.
I've lost my way...!

Chorus:
Cus I'm Trapped and I can't breathe
The waters rushing over me
I don't know where I am.
Oh, I don't know where I am!

I feel like I can't swim
And I feel like I can't win
I've lost all sight of you.
Oh....sight of you.

Its dark and I can't see
The things right in front of me
I stumble on and on...
Until I find a place
Where I can see your amazing grace


I don;t know if that would work for you, but that is how I hear it in my head. try something in the key of D Major with a lot of harmony...this song definitely needs harmony.

I wish I could write lyrics... Good Stuff!!

Harmony yea I guess. Dude if I slept on it I could make those lyrics scream ROCKN ROLL !!
Or not.
This is why when I have lyric come to me I must write it and play it asap.
Or half assed sing it into a recorder. (hope nobody ever finds the recorder )
I feel its rare to take some lyric and add music latter and capture the feeling that was the inspiration of the lyric.
This isone of the things that blows my mind about the colaboration between Jimmy Danger and Neanderpaul on Nothing But Wrong.
Its if the lyrics were born twin to the music.

Yeah the style is rock, the song we recorded was rock...I mean we even brought out the big 7-string guitar for it...needless to say it was a bit much low end...but it was cool. I'm going to see about getting it uploaded, but I lost the CD or something...so I need to call my friend and see if he has it.

You might consider getting an external hard drive for all your music. It never seems to get lost in the jumble and it's not another CD to lose. I bought a Western Digital 250 gig hard drive at Best Buy for under a hundred and saved all my worth while music projects on that. it has definitely paid for it's self and I know where everything is. Just a thought.. =)

totally a good idea! I am pretty sure it's saved on my friends recording stuff, he has mac with pro tool on it and a digital somewhat or another...lol techno babble.

I think most of us have external hard-drives. .wav files of separate tracks can fill up a HD in a hurry..

I dont even know what your talkin about.
Best ask my compugeek front man Ray.

OK, maybe some of us don't, and some of us do..