General Music Chat

When this happens to your spouse or kid, it really drives the point home that the medical community has NO grasp of how or why the brain works as it does. I've been living with this "medical experiment" far too long. I even told her Dr in person that these drugs were not working for my wife properly. She simply put her on something else.

Now I have her violent rages, paranoia, a lack of compassion for others to deal with, & STILL have the original "depression," only it seems even more pronounced than it did before. On the weekends, my wife rarely gets out of her pajamas at all, these days. Say something to her about it, & she goes into a rage.

I really need some help if I'm going to stay here, & from the way things look, I won't be for long. Don't be surprized if I simply disappear from the forum one day.

On top of the anti-depressents, my wife is also on blood pressure meds, cholesterol meds, type II diabetes meds, hormone meds, & God only knows what else. She takes a minimum of 6 pills every morning, & has muscle spasms & a possibly crushed vertebrae in her neck (from cringing so much in frustration) that requires the occasional valium. She's also taking some sort of herbal thing to help her to lose weight, & she's only 43. Her Dr knows about all of it.

I want to go to that dumbass' office & do terrible things. The worst part of it all, I think, is that there is zero accountability in all of this. I cannot sue a Dr for a busted up marriage. And I can't seem to stop the overmedicating that my wife has been convinced she needs so desperately.

My position is a helpless & hopeless one. All I can do at this point is get away from it, or live with it. I cannot change it.

I am simply overwhelmed.

My friend, one is never hopeless as long as he draws breath.
I see this all the time, and this is not intended to in anyway minimalise your pain. Simply to say you are not alone. I see it so much I now type with tears in my eyes. Sometimes a life changing or threatining event comes along and breaks the cycle. But its rare.
For what ever it is worth, I will remeber you and your family as I speak with our Father.

How on Earth did homo sapiens get along for MILLIONS of years without all these drugs? How did children get through our school systems for well over one hundred years without taking all these drugs? There's a pill for almost EVERYTHING, and if there isn't one they're working on it. Chinese medicine has been around for about 2,000 years (mainly herbs and accupuncture). Maybe they know something we don't. We have to STOP poisoning our children. Almost invariably these drugs have negative side effects that aren't discovered until many years (sometimes decades) later. Isn't it time we STOP being guinea pigs to the pharmaceutical companies that are making billions of dollars in profits off their poisons? And then the spectre of genetic engineering and cloning is looming on the near horizon. Won't it be WONDERFUL when homo sapiens very existence depends on drugs? Later...

oh sh*t,

too many users- lusers...

While you certainly may respond with a glib line like "too many users- lusers," I think you should perhaps ponder on this a bit;

You cannot watch any TV channel for a single hour without seeing an ad for some sort of drug.

Headache? Take a pill! Sneezy? Take a pill! Troubles in the bedroom? Shuffling around in your sleep? Feeling a bit sad? Gaining weight? Your kids can't do well in school? It doesn't matter what problem you have, & if you don't have a problem, they'll convince you that you have one to sell you thier new pill.

It was the TV ads that convinced my wife that she should check into it.

Go to just about any Dr & tell them about "symptoms" you have that you saw on TV, & they'll simply write you prescriptions for the problem with few if any real qualifying questions to determine whether the drug is really needed. Then they'll tell you to watch for side effects.

Problem is, once you are drugged, you aren't really in the frame of mind to be the judge anymore, concerning the side effects. If you become paranoid, you will assume that the rest of the world is simply disliking the "real you," or jealous or threatened by your newfound "strength." You lose all compassion for others, & see them as being the source of all your problems. You get more & more convinced that everyone is working against you.

Time goes by, & your condition worsens, yet you still cannot see it. Eventually it begins to affect your job, your relationship with those closest to you, & then just about everyone. Now you really have something to be sad about, so the Dr increases the doseage, & makes it all WORSE.

That is what has happened to my family, as I sit here unable to counter the stupidity & ignorance of this Dr when it comes to what is actually happening with her patient.

After all, who are you going to listen to, your spouse or friend or a trained Dr, when it comes to issues about your health?

The problem has been created by an overzealous pharmaceutical company. They have created a drug, built lies upon its reliability which have been passed on to you through ad agencies. The Dr's know little about the new stuff, but are told to use it. The potential patients are told to diagnose themselves. The Dr blindly distributes the poison, & everyone makes a buck.

There is no accountability for an incorrect self-diagnosis, for presenting wrong info to the Dr in hopes of making your life better.

I, too, nearly fell into this trap 2 years ago, when I was going through rough times with my wife. She convinced me to go to the Dr & get some anti-depressants when I was upset about our situation. I went, the Dr sinply wrote the 'scrip for Zoloft. All was well for the 1st 6 days, then when I went onto the regular dosage, my mind began to spiral out of control with suicidal thoughts, on the 8th day.

I was up all night, living in my friend's music store because we were separated, all alone, having the worst, blackest thoughts I ever had. I made it through that night, barely. I then stopped the drug cold turkey, against everyone's advice. It took me three more days of pure hell to get back to my normally upset self considering my situation.

I honestly believe that if I'd stayed on that drug for another day or two, I wouldn't be here talking about it. I'd be dead.

When are we going to understand that it's perfectly alright to be sad about things that happen in life?

Even after that, I couldn't convince my wife to stop. Yeah, she's like a junky, & I'm forced to even go & pick up her fix for her at the local pharmacy, because if I deny these things to her, I'm told that she will kill herself.

WTF is wrong with this picture, & how can I make it any better? I have to either sit on the sidelines & watch, or get away & leave her to her own drug-distorted devices, or wait until it gets to the point that I can have her committed until she gets back to some sort of normalcy.

Yeah, niandra, feel fortunate if you haven't been made into a "user-luser" by an unfit Dr or evil pharmateutical co.

Forgive me for being a bit bitter, but I am seriously pissed.

I know of no way you can "force" this situation to get better. I have known a few Doctors whom were man enough to put patients on a no drug crash course, while under acute care. Its a f**k vicious circle.
I truly wish I could help! I would check to see if a local behavoral health clinic had a Doctor, who is not a drug pusher. There are a few around.

Philbymon, could you try to find a different Dr. that you could pay off to give her a 'second opinion'?
It sounds crazy, but if you get in it together with a doc that actually cares about people, he could tell your wife that the drugs are doing her more harm than good, and then you could work out a schedule for weaning her off the drugs.
If she wont listen to a regular person... I wouldnt be above greasing a different doctors palm to get control of the situation.

Just an idea.

Great idea, Zip. I'm kinda locked in to the Dr we have, thanks to our HMO. I guess I could take her to one 40 miles away that accepts this stupid insurance, if I can convince her that it is in her best interest. Right now, of course, isn't the best time for that, since she's on this divorce kick again.

Thanks, ppl. I've been at my wits' end over this for years. Every time I get to the point that I'm headed out the door, or gonna force something to fix things, she calms down a bit & asks me to stay & I begin to wonder if it isn't perhaps my wrong thinking.

Yeah, it can hit you like that, too, & you ask yourself if it isn't really all you after all.

If I wait a bit, things will probably settle down to the point that I can try to face this with her again. That's been the pattern thus far, anyway. Just have to keep my eye on the prize, while I wait things out & do my best to keep the peace.

I'm going to ask my son to help me on this. Maybe she'll listen or cave if she's faced with the both of us. Still, right now isn't the time, with her crazy over-emotional state of mind. I need to sit this stage through yet again before I try to act.

And this is a person that I'm supposed to love & cherish, too. Keep that in mind. It's hard to love the things she's becoming daily. I care very much, but it's killing us both.

It would be very easy to get my things together & leave her at this point, but I still feel I have a duty to uphold my promise to her, & to do my utmost to help her. Her state of mind makes it all so very hard, yet I'm still trying to hold onto some sort of hope.

But omg I want out.

One way to convince her that it's in her best interest might be to tell her that you think she needs a 'checkup' or new diagnosis, or whatever, to make sure she's getting the drugs she needs... that there might be some other drug that would help her 'more'.
That way you arent confronting her with taking drugs away, but are offering the possibility of more drugs or better drugs.
Of course that would just be a ruse to get her into a different Dr. office so that they can tell her that she has to 'ween' off of what she is using before they can try out new stuff.
Except there is no new stuff.


Obviously I'm not a doctor or an expert on any of this, and I dont wanna get you in trouble or anything...
but I can't really offer anything else to help you other than my technically unethical schemery.

We call that technically unethical schemery, redirection. It is a good suggestion. Really no differint than use of placebo. I have told folk this "may" help you to rest when pushing normal saline flush IV and in twenty minuets they are asleep. But I respect what Philby is saying timing can be everything. I almost lost my wife and family over a stray piece of ass. (stupid me) I never want to go down that road again.
Hang tough bro.

"too many users-lusers" is not the response to 3 crazy pages of discussion which DEFINITELY has nothing to do with the topic " everybody wants to sing in this country", is the response to who you are people

niandra - we ARE singing

Sorry if you don't like the tune

No photo, no music, no respect. We're the losers?

Most people have a yearning to express themselves. In this country, or any other country.
Lots of people like to express themselves through music.

Apparently, you like to express yourself through cryptic, declarative statements.

Never lose your water on some fleabag that can't even change their avatar.

WHo said that? (looks around)

I didn't hear that.. say it again.. Oh ok.. I heard someone muttering something about "upload".