General Music Chat

Hey...it could happen?

Q: How can you tell the the person at your front door is a singer?
A: He doesn't have the right key, and he doesn't know when to come in.





Did you hear about the bass player who played so out of tune that the singer noticed?

How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
1,000,000... One to change the bulb... and 999,999 to insist how much better they could've done it!


how many lead singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
1- they just hold the bulb and the whole world revolves around them.

How do you get a bass player off your porch?




Pay for the pizza.

what's the definition of an optimist? a singer with a pager.

Q. What do you call a bass player with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant!





Q: What's the best kind of pickup to put on a banjo?

A: Ford F-150.

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?





None. They have machines now that do it better.

A young, single woman is feeling very ill and has an extensive series of tests done by her doctor. After weeks of tests and more tests, the doctor calls her in.

He tells her, "I have to be frank with you the test results are not good. You have an incurable terminal disease. You have no more than six months to live."

Devastated and sobbing, she asks the doctor, "Is there *anything* I can do?

The doctor says, "Well, if I were you I would run out and marry a guitarist ASAP.

She asks, "How will that help my illness?

The doctor says, "Oh it won't help your illness; but it *will* make that six months seem like an eternity!"

What do you call a beautiful woman on a bassist's arm?
A tattoo.



One night at Club Chintz, the mindreader closes her set by reading the mind of the each of the musicians in the band.

First, she reads the mind of the lead guitarist:

"Wow, look at all the cute chicks who showed up tonight! I bet they're all here to see me. Good crowd!"

Then the drummer:
"Look at that crowd! With this many people in the house, we're going to make good money tonight!"

Then the Keyboard player:
"Yeesh, look at that crowd. None of them will ever truly appreciate all of my talent. What a bunch of losers."

Finally, the Bass player:
"E E E E E E E E A A A A A A A A E E E E E E E E..."





What is another term for fretless bass?
A manually-operated Pitch Approximator.


What is a fretless bass good for?
About thirty yards if you use both hands.

Definitions:

Rock Guitarist- Plays 3 chords to 5000 people.

Jazz Guitarist- Plays 5000 chords to 3 people.

Bass Player- Person who like to hang around musicians.

Hey Dave, I'm headed back to Hollywood next week to work on that album project some more.

We ought to hang!? What's going on in your world next week?

Hey Dave, I'm headed back to Hollywood next week to work on that album project some more.

We ought to hang!? What's going on in your world next week?

Cool! I am playing a grad party this Sat. and at church Sun. I have a friend who does an open mic in Burbank Wed evenings. Perhaps we could hang out there. Let me know your schedule and we can probably fit something in. Work is reasonably busy but flexible right now.

My schedule: we're cutting 3 or 4 songs next Friday.

Sometime between Monday afternoon and Friday morning, I need to write those songs. Other than that, my schedule is very flexible.


Burbank on Wednesday is confirmed...but no reason we can't meet before then. Maybe lunch in Northridge on Tuesday? Then again, I may be driving out to Rancho Cucomongo for a meeting one day next week.

I'm trying to organize a music festival in SoCal during September. Looking for a place where we can camp for 3 days/2 nights and put up an outdoor stage. Have found a few promising sites in San Bernadino Mtns but nothing confirmed yet.

Do you have any suggestions or ideas about that?


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LOL, some funny stuff there guys, I dont know which is funnier this thread or the Peg thread! LOL!

Cool, I'll tell Marc about Wednesday and get you the address. If you head out to Cucamonga I am buying lunch!

Mt. Baldy Ski Resort has done this sort of thing before. It is a breathtaking spot at 7200' elevation. Logistics of getting gear in and out are more challenging than most though.
http://summer.mtbaldyskilifts.com/

Mt High Ski Resort in Wrightwood might also be a good location with easier access.
http://www.mthigh.com/

LOL, some funny stuff there guys, I dont know which is funnier this thread or the Peg thread! LOL!

A bit of a food fight in the other threads today. All in good fun til someone loses an eye I guess. I wonder if they are having fun yet.