Haha, I like the riverboat story Planet. You could sell that gag to SNL.
My open mic experiences are fairly boring but I can follow with another boat story. I was playing in the band Haven and we were hired to do a wedding reception on the Queen Mary. For those that don't know this is a 100 yr old steam ship that has been permanently moored in Long Beach CA. It is huge and has about 20 different ballrooms of various size.
Our clients were a Lebanese family and man did they know how to party... whew! Everyone was dancing and the champagne was flowing. We were having a blast. Apparently a couple of 14 yr old revelers decided they should grab a couple bottles of champagne, downed em both in short order, and then went up on deck and dared each other to jump overboard

Yup, over they went and it was probably 10 stories above the water. Luckily someone saw them jump and called harbor patrol who promptly fished them out.
At about 2 hours into a 4 hour show the harbor patrol entered the ballroom with two drunken, soggy wharf rats and declared the party was over. It was fun while it lasted.