General Music Chat

I'll throw a couple of things out there...

Two big things, structure wise: First of all, the song is 7 minutes plus! That's pretty epic, and there really isn't too much new going on it. If you think in terms of some classic songs that have been a hefty length (Hotel California, Stairway to Heaven, Freebird), those songs had a pretty significant structural change (i.e., tempo change, chord progression and general feel of the song). You may consider cutting it down, or at least taking a long listen and figure out if it really needs to be that long to make its point.
The second thing is the guitar solo. It runs from 3:13 to 4:13... . Way too long. Take a band like ZZ Top, for example. Most of their songs are just vehicles for the guitar solos. That being said, your solo is probably three times longer than anything they do. Again, I think you should focus on making a statement with the lead...kind of feels like you are meandering a bit.
The melodies are nice but unremarkable. Your vocal melodies in the verse are a little quirky-that could be a good thing, especially since you keep the chorus melody pretty standard-it keeps things interesting. I guess in general, as far as the melodies go, I get a pleasant Pink Floyd/Moody Blues feel from it. BUT, it's hard for me to get excited about the song because there are no tempo changes, no dynamics. In short, it lacks energy.
I'm interested in hearing a different mix. It's hard to answer your questions about changes in instrumentation, because it's all a little undefined. A big part of what I mentioned above has to do with the mix. I know you said you didn't want to hear that, but...can't be helped.
I've listened to your stuff before and I think that you can produce some good material. In my opinion:

Cut down the length
Cut down the lead
Mix it to add dynamics (particularly in changes) and to add energy
Kill some of the fx...I think your guitar parts are okay, but everything is soaked in effect, making it all kind of mushy.
And finally, this is a personal preference, but do yourself a favor and take a massive chunk of effect OFF of the vocals. You sound like you have a nice voice and a good range, but with so much fx, it kind of gets lost in the mush. Everyone always wants to drown out their own voice (very few people like the sound of their own voice). My suggestion is to record it raw and gt used to listening to it like that. At the end of mixing, go ahead and add a LITTLE touc of reverb to the voice. I think you will find that you actually have a nice singing voice-now that you can hear it.
Just my two cents, please don't burn a voodoo doll of me.

uh .............. which song? listened to the two first songs like the second one better than the first.

"Song for Bob" is # 6 on his list.

Here's what I AM looking for feedback on:

Lyrics

Melody

Verse/chorus structure

Changes in instrumentation (including how the guitars sound)

What could be done in addition to what I've already got there for instruments.

What instrumentation that is there would you get rid of (for example, "I hate that echoed guitar I would get rid of that [and maybe replace it with xyz]."

Song For Bob (Maybe I'm Crazy)
Lyrics:
Narrative /Reflective style makes the Lyrical content very subjective...Hence, the last third of them, kinda lost direction for me... Got a tad wordy, which i thought messed up the meter in the music schema.

Melody
Pleasant, simple melody with minor variation... Can detect a "kindness" in the theme. (Invoked compassion for Bob... )

Verse/chorus structure
Transition Maj To Maj To flat or a natural minor ...Is a bit rough..due to disparate vocal note in phrase "...starlight"... I get the feeling you were sliding that vocal for ethereal effect... It'll work better maybe if you hit that phrase about 1 beat later ... Just saying maybe experiment with it. Over all structure is solid and interesting.. (Kinda reminds me of some of Scott's work ) It needs some ambient backing (for that clear and ever reaching night sky)

Changes in instrumentation (including how the guitars sound)
I like the tones and textures that you used with the guitar work... I'd say keep it...

Production Tip
I tried to reproduce some of your chords... I was tuned in Concert pitch...I think your guitar was up-pitch by a quarter.. any way I thought it was off. I always recommend to all musicians to stick by concert pitch in their tuning..and do so before they lay hands on the record button.... [/i]

Hey, good luck, and I am looking forward to hearing the next version...(and thanks for not voo-doing me... ).

If you dont play lead then why put it in there?
What's the point of meandering and pecking?
If it's to fill space, then just cut the extra space out and shorten the piece up.

Don't sing like Kermit the Frog. Stay away from your head voice, and use your chest voice.

Certainly continue to work on it, but don't try to force it. Keep it in the back of your mind. I feel that focusing solely on this song is only gonna lead to frustration. I've had songs that I've set aside for ten years, basically because I can't get them where I want them. Then one day, out of the blue, I'll pull them out, do something a little different, and bam! It's a keeper. Try different things with it. Play it acoustic-just voice and guitar.
I think that the reason you are so determined to finish this song is because it has such an intense meaning to you. Maybe you can't finish it because you are not really saying what you want to say. It's just a thought. From your description, there seems to be a lot of raw emotion involved. Personally, that's what I would want to hear. The song could be two minutes long and two repeating chords, but if you successful deliver the emotion that you are feeling about the subject, nothing else matters. Break it down and find the important parts. Then you can worry about flushing it out with textures, tones and solos.

In effect, I'm a story teller. The story is about me, in bits and pieces told through the songs. Some few of them are okay with me to be left untold, but most are, I think, good enough. None are "great" IMHO and will probably never be hits if they ever sell at all. That's not as important to me as just doing it, which I cannot stop myself from doing anyway so I may as well do the best job I can with what I have. One step at a time.

This song is just one of the steps I never finished taking and is one of the few I am driven to complete. There are others I probably never will finish, and that's fine too.

You Nailed it... There are infinite number of "right ways to tell a story...But only 'one" way to tell it from within ourselves... When sharing these things, its a good idea to observe a modicum of convention, as a way to package and deliver our abundance of universe... Beyond that... Indulge in the path the song takes us...

Good, I support you concerned about your post, thank you