General Music Chat

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Every year I write a Christmas song, so this morning it was time to sit at the yuletide table and hammer one out.

Here it is:

“Letter to Santa”

Dear Santa Clause year after disappointing year,
I write a list to which you refuse to adhere;
I was eight years old and wanted a Huffy bike,
I ended up with clothes I didn’t even like.

Santa remember the year I asked for Reebok,
The generic shoes you brought, well, sucked lots of c***;
This year there’s one message that I want to instill,
The message is ‘if I can’t have it then no one will.’

If I can’t have it, then no one will.



This year’s Christmas greeting was out of the norm,
As I put Santa Clause out with chloroform;
Tied him up and threw him down in the cellar,
But my daughter doesn’t know, please don’t tell her.



Dear Santa Clause every year is a brand new joke,
Like the Gameboy Advance that was already broke;
The empty electric guitar box was so cute,
But your knowledge of me must not be so astute.

You caused me constant dejection but even then,
Were signs of the killer you were building within;
The Scooter I didn’t get made me lose all hope,
You’ll learn not to f*** with kids unable to cope.


Don’t f*** with kids unable to cope…



This year’s Christmas greeting was out of the norm,
As I put Santa Clause out with chloroform;
Tied him up and threw him down in the cellar,
But my daughter doesn’t know, please don’t tell her.



The kids all think Santa vanished into thin space,
But I’ve got his head hanging o’er the fireplace;
Yes, I know he’s not the real Santa at all,
Just a guy needing money who picked the wrong mall.


Yeah, he picked the wrong mall…

Merry Christmas, Mother******
Merry Christmas, Mother******
Merry Christmas, Mother******
Merry F***ing Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Mother******
Merry Christmas, Mother******
Merry Christmas, Mother******
Merry F***ing Christmas

(Spoken) And next year the, “Santa killer,” WILL strike again.

LOL Pierce! That cracks me up... (Though I am sad you offed ol Santa... He's been giving me Socks, Sweaters and Readers Digest subscriptions for years...) You are a creative soul... I can only imagine what that is gonna sound like...

That is very funny Pierce! As I read it I started to laugh so loud my wife was wondering what the H3LL is wrong with me!

Lynard,

I'm sorry you didn't like it.

PaperDizzy,

Santa is generous in the same way I am generous with the foodbanks, giving them s*** that I don't want that's been in the cupboard for years! What are we going to do with forty pairs of socks when we still havesixty pairs from the last ten years that we haven't even opened yet!?

I just donate the unopened ones from before to charity and tell myself I'm a good person. Maybe one day I'll part with something I actually wanted.

Thanks for the compliments!!!

By the way, I love, "On Christmas Day/The Wind is Blowing," it's amusingbut delivers a true message at the same time. Anyone that's ever had an @$$hole neighbor that they've thought semi-seriously of extending the hand of generosity to knows exactly what you're talking about. That part of the song is brilliant, really.

Jeff,

Thanks! That's hilarious, I hope you're not exaggerating!

I meant to tell you, "Lucky Stars," and "Life Goes On," are both out of this f***ing world incredible.

Thanks Pierce!

This day just keeps gettin' better! Merry Christmas (Still laughing!)

Thanks, Crunch, Merry Christmas!