jw123 wrote:Paper, Bench For Two, sounds like the tempo is dragging to me, it might could use speeding up slightly, but I know its a melancholly song so maybe that was the intent. Theres nothing really worng with the song structure wise to me, it just doesnt go anywhere lyrically for me, Nietze, or however you spell it and God, come on thats been done to death thru the years. Guitar is noisy, I dont know if you meant to have the slapping sound in there or not. not sure what you use guitar and mic wise, maybe try a condensor mic near the bridge or soundhole and oddly my guy has been using a SM 57 of all things lately on the neck end. The playing is a little sloppy to my ears, could maybe brush up on your picking technique some.
Now Were talking!

You see I can handle the specifics. And I do love to discuss the ups and downs of a work.. And amazingly, I agree with most Every Thing you said about the "Bench for two". It lags, Its tinny, and needs lots of work on meter- tightness. Lyrical content was not "about" Nietzsche and God.. but rather used it to illustrate an irony while a homeless guy pines over a stranger. When I recorded it (And posted) My intent was strictly to get the blue print down for audition of prospective candidates that might want to jump in on it. The real magic will come later (And I will re-post the final versions) The final version...well I have about 5 more tracks (Not including vocals) to add. Basically the song write now is in a seed form.
The second song is Before You Accuse Me dang cant even remember the name, its just a copy of that song to my ears, of course in the bluesy vein we all steal anyway so what. Of the three songs if I were to record one of them I would do this cause I love that style of song.
My only defense here

... is I wrote that one before Clapton wrote or released his... Just now got around to doing something with it. Its a standard R & B.. with a touch of the 50's Ray Charles and a dash of that road house rock with a smidgen of Jerry lee Lewis...

(The Final version will reflect that, with a Piano track ) Now, I came about this one in the 80's from being inspired by Stevie Ray Vaughn, ( Before he made it big...) I will also say proudly that parts of that song crossed his ears during a stage break (while they were packing up ) He did not seem to mind it... (I was 20 years old... and just a punk )
Now the Ballad Of Paper Dog is inteeresting, kinda has that Beatles type feel from the Sgt Pepper era to me, I had to cut short listening to it again, due to work. But of the three it grabbed me the most, sadly it was just the keys that were getting my attention, what was the lyric about a hole in your head or hole in my head.
If you go back to the profile, I had written out the lyrics to that one. The song fictionalizes a character 'paperdog" (Which as you Know I am using as a screen name here). Its a huge pun on the Cafe scene...
Again the recording is shoddy as hell... In fact, I had recorded Drum, Base, Acoustic and vocals in a studio and eq'd that into a mastered cut. Then later, I got hold of a copy of Acid recording Studio SW, and using Midi feature I actually constructed the piano, literally, note to note on the screen with point & Click (just to see if I could do it) Did the same thing for with Cello &Horns. and laid these down over the cut. (Separation, construction Mixing and else was the most tedious exercise I have ever endeavored ...and I am no engineer ) I laid down a lead with a Bottle neck (Using a Bic Lighter actually ) , and again, for giggles, I looped the lead backwards, made adjustments and laid that down for effect. All in all its the best "Guerilla" exercise I ever did. from there on,, I promise to get an engineer...
When I said your songs sound mediocre thats exactly what I meant, dont believe me click on youtube and look up acoustic folk music and you will find hundreds of songs people put up that may or may not be better but they just dont jump out at you, or me anyway. That was my honest opinion.
Truthfully, I respect your opinion, now that the context is so much clearer.

I do believe, its the Folk part that just comes off too banal for ya... and any song in that (with some exceptions) ... is already DIW ..Would that be safe to say?
Also as I said before most of us think that our songs are the best in the world like they are special
I Know I do

, I think you should reexamine the emotional content of your songs I dont feel it, cant put my finger on it, its like a picture that was painted by the numbers versus a piccasso, dont know if that makes sense.
Maybe too Mechanical? I get that. However, the content.. Song 1, meant to be pretty esoteric...with the hoe that it can grab some compassion from interested listeners. Song 2... Nothing emotional intended. I had changed the The Lyrics (not the structure) from my original version... Now the damn song is about me quitting smoking... Nobody would be expected to get that..it was a tongue-in-cheek... but its a good lil toe tapper...
Youve got about 5-10 seconds to grab a listener, in my opinion, make sure there is something that grabs someone.
Oh yeah thanks for listening to a couple of mine, Ive shared this before but I dont view my music as that great a thing, most of them are just moments in time to me, in fact some I would have to totally relearn if I were to even think about playing them live, they are just a moment in time of my life, the things I was thinking at the time, they werent intended in ay way for mass consumption, my forte is playing live in a cover band, big whoopie, but I do get to play rock start for a few hours.
Anyway keep at it, there is some major potential in what you are doing.
Listen, (Your stuff) really is good. I think the only difference is that yours shows the dicipline, and mine doesnt (just yet) , and I happen to be a wordy bastard, and I get lost in abstract verbage. If I am lucky, that can spill over into song...
Eitherway, you and I...its all good bro..and I truly appreciate your inputs, and I especiually respect that you kept it fair and civil
(I am working to watch my tongue in these forums now.. : ) 2 days now and no safety violations LOL!