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#130209 by lalong
Mon Nov 15, 2010 6:43 am
Well Mike and I finished another tune called “Waiting for Something” and I remixed Ruinosus, thanks for the listen and direction for that one folks. I think given the samples we’re using on that one, it’s as good as I can get it.

Anyway any honest critiques for “Waiting for Something” would be appreciated. Usually I try to do three critiques to any music I post, but three pages of recent forum posts only gave me two. So if anyone has a rather fresh tune out there they would want to get an honest take on, let me know.

#130312 by Shapeshifter
Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:24 pm
My computer is running so slow right now that I could only listen to the first 5 secs. Let's give it a bump and hopefully I'll get to hear the whole thing! :lol: :roll:

#130313 by RGMixProject
Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:38 pm
wow .... what is basically a southern california 70's rock music chord progression turned mod pop rock .... impressive ... but the song is a step above a whole lot of what you've done lately. (lyrics seem a little glib here and there but I won't worry about that cus they mostly flow well.

but it's the melody and the chord progressions and the basic arrangement that is really working. excellent chorus - you are bordering on goosebump city.

and the voicings, air, beat and basic FX are spot on and a bit different and a little adventurous. the stereo placement of this and that is quite cool.

as with a lot of your tunes, you are playing the bass as an afterthought and I wish the hell you'd concentrate more on making it a feature instead of a necessary evil in your songs. I know that's frequently the norm in post pop rock but that's a territory where you could forge new ground and bring some roots into the music to capture an overall fullness that is lacking ....

anyway, this is a great treatment and a real good set of ideas to really build on. don't be afraid to create even more air in the mix.

btw - I know it might sound a little bit stupid under the circumstances but call me a dreamer .... you want something hooky and really off the wall to make this song sound a bit wacky and really different? put a saxophone in it. I hear a number of breaks where you could pull it off with the right part and the right sound. and it'd be wild as hell. touching on a thing that isn't used much in modern music ... and it'd fit if you make it so. it'd be out of place at first but the more you hear it, the more it'd work and be a real kick in the ass to the tune.

you really should trust me on this, remember now, I know things and the thought of it was automatic for some reason. :wink:

it will make the song f___ing wack.

#130318 by neanderpaul
Tue Nov 16, 2010 12:26 am
I like the piano part on the verses. It's kind of Van Hagarish. That's really all I like about it. I don't like the guitar sound. Vocals are weak. Often flat. Mix is ok. Bass is ok. Sorry I know it's harsh.

#130340 by lalong
Tue Nov 16, 2010 3:04 am
RGMix thanks for the in depth critique. I made a significant investment in sound equipment between Ruinosus and this one. I took a lot of ribbing about how muddy Ruinosus was and for good reason. I have spent a lot of time studying mixing and learning my DAW. I also gave Mike full authority over the mix, he has better ears than I.

Sax eh? Interesting suggestion. I’ll run a few tries out that and see how it comes out.

It’s funny you mention the bass. On our last session we agreed the one after the next will start with a bass line first. The next one is already set and is keyboard based.


Neanderpaul how is that harsh? I asked for an honest opinion and I thank you for it. Could you elaborate about the guitars are they too bright, too distorted, too much wah?

Our end plan is to get together a decent collection of tunes, then we’ll get together the front team. We’re both perfectly happy making the tunes and playing in the background, neither of us have any delusions of being the star. Once we have some good front people we’ll go to the studio and go for real gigs. For now we can only go with what we have. :)

#130895 by Shapeshifter
Fri Nov 19, 2010 8:01 pm
Well, it took me a fricken week, but I finally got to listen to it...and I like it!
To me, it definitely has an 80's feeling to it-not just the tones of the instruments, but the general feel also. Through the verses I get a real Bowie vibe from the vocals.
I really like the arrangement. The changes seem to come in at the right times-even during the solo section. So much of songwriting is about hooks (keeping the listeners' attention), and it's easy to let something go on too long. I think you've done a fine job of keeping the song flowing and making it interesting. 3 1/2 minutes is a little short, but then again, a complete idea is just that-complete. I don't think that I would personally try to jam anything into just for the sake of being longer.
On the negative side, the vocals in the verses seem a little dry (not that I'm one to talk, BUT). Being that raw, the voice tends to stand out front more, and it begins to sound a little like karaoke rather than a band performing together. The chorus sections, however, sound just right to me-the doubling helps greatly.
The only other thing I would like to hear is some variation in the verse section, musically. Mix up the instrumentation a little...maybe drop something out in order to make another part stand out. That way, you've offered variety to the listener's ear while still maintaining the normal progression. Again, changing it up = hooks. Hooks are good. As it is, your verse parts seem to be carbon copies of the previous ones. While it's a decent enough part, your listener is going to hear that exact same part and think "Oh, we've been here before"...and tune it out. :cry:


Hope you don't mind the suggestions...

#130899 by jimmydanger
Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:02 pm
I wasn't going to comment but here goes: the music is not bad at all, but the vocals don't fit. I kept picturing some tasty female vocals. Nice effort anyway.

#130905 by gbheil
Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:33 pm
I like it.

Thanks for posting music.

#130981 by Starfish Scott
Sat Nov 20, 2010 7:32 pm
Not bad, except for the vocals.. RIIIIP

tear em out and try again.

#131293 by CraigMaxim
Wed Nov 24, 2010 1:02 am



SONGWRITING:

I like the song. Good melody and lyrics.


ARRANGEMENT:

One of the best parts IMO. I like the changes and the journey you take us on. Like the delayed stops. I liked the panning on the guitar pick-scrape. I like most of the instrumentation. I think the piano is too present, too forward in the mix. Like the ending, and guitar harmonics. Like the "flying" (my catch phrase) break with lead guitar.


INSTRUMENTATION:

Piano has mistakes that are too obvious. Like the rhythm guitar, including the wah. Bass line could be improved... it's not always in sync with the groove of the song, but it's really good in some places.


VOCALS:


Jimmy has an interesting suggestion. I played with it in my head, and a really UNIQUE female voice could be very cool. I think your voice works pretty good for this song though, speaking of your tone and style though... (Reminds me of Roger Waters) The problem is... You go flat quite a bit and at the worst times, like ends of phrases, also... you are RUSHING the phrasing. It's worth practicing the timing over and over, to perfect it. Rushing the lyrics to fit them in, and doing it out of timing, makes the listener STUMBLE over those spots, when they should be in a clear and perfect GROOVE that they don't abruptly get taken out of, unless on purpose and for effect.

OVER-ALL:

I like it alot! I would definitely listen again!

#131399 by KLUGMO
Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:07 pm
la, I think this is a very well written and arranged song.
It has a commercial feel to it. I wont comment on sound and
instruments and vocals and levels.

It's a good song and you need to get a group of real
players together and bang this one out because it will
come together by itself because it is a good song.

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