General Music Chat

My experience in the last 5-6 years has been that - of all the people who say they want to be in a group . . . 11 out of 12 people do NOT have the knowledge, personality, drive, ability, time, style, improvisitional skills, dedication and willingness to be a musician in a group.
1 out of 12 just might have 'it.'.
.
TIME is a biggee . . .
And, dedication takes an even more substantial investment in time . . .
.
And - if they DO have everything I listed, - then there's the matter of equipment and transportation and scheduling. And, do they practice on their own, as they should? Are they usually late? And . . . . yadda yadda . . .
.
If you took all those "1 out of 12s," and got a group of 50 of them together . . . well, maybe 1 out of 3 or 4 "have it."
.
If someone shows interest in being in my band - and they do not reply to my email within 36 hours - I discount them completely.
No more chasing people down . . .
I no longer chase after anyone, ever.
I don't remind them or ask again.
Many people need or want to be asked or told twice. But, if they do - they will not work with me.
If I have to ask them twice - then they have disqualified themselves . . .
I want to work with folks who love it enough to show up without being reminded . . .

Sounds like a good system you got there RM. It's a sure way of knowing you're most likely dealing with someone dedicated. I like your percentage system too. You should teach a class on this stuff!

Dealing with these situations and these kind of people reminds me of what it what like dating girls in high school...confusing and frustrating...in a nutshell.

Why would you chase anyone at all?

I have a regular set up, but we just do not get along.

Now I surf through the people looking for a diamond(s) in the rough but we still do our thing when it's convenient/ they need $.

Maybe one day we'll all split up and do our own thing, until then we all do what we do plus extra side projects that we like.

i.e. When something better comes along...


But do not chase anything, it makes you look needy and desperate and we all know you aren't.

I haven't been lucky in the band department either, I'm hoping this time around things will change. I would see bands playing and I'd actually get jealous that they sound great, seem to get along, been playing awhile. Funny, I'm not jealous when chicks flirt with my old man (kiss him and don't forget we have a tip jar over there), but I get jealous seeing bands together and who are happy. When people come to talk to my band members I want to run up and grab them and say "MINE! Back off!" I'm crazy.

Chaeya

One other factor you might be running into, the ancient ad phenomenon.

Craigslist is particularly interesting for this one.

But local music stores that never take ads down - even dated ones which are months old - are more problematic. I (usually) date my ads, so they know how old they are. I could, I suppose, drive to every music store I put an ad up at and take them down, but I forget.

Even so, I've received replies to ads on Craigslist that are three months old. I can't even find three month old ads on Craigslist myself, so how did these people do it? I have to admit, I'm not often prompt in replying to such people. I probably should be better about that.

Bands are like a four-way marriage. Everyone needs to get along, communicate well and have fun playing together. Sometimes you have to divorce someone even though they're like family. We're now on our fifth drummer and he might be the best yet.

Someone on hear a couple of years back said "most musicians are so busy telling people what they will and will not do they will never play in a band"
I have been playing music professionally since 1979 and those are some of the wisest words I have ever heard. It really made me take a look at myself and say hey dumbass no wonder your having so many problems staying with a band LMAO! Seriously being in a band is a give and take thing it takes COMPROMISE! Most of us musicians have a hard time with that i.e. covers or originals, who gets to sing what, which guitar player gets to play what lead, which nights are we rehearsing, who's side of town are we going to gig rehearse, the frickin list goes on and on!
I ran a band for 5 years that gets old and can wear you down. Lately I have been drifting from band to band a never ending cram session of new songs to learn. Still looking for that perfect band LMFAO!

I like to play in 3 piece bands cause they sound really tight when things get going. The ironic thing is they break up just as easy as any other band. I used to think that 3 guys could be in agreement more often, boy was I wrong. In fact, the four piece bands I was in seemed to last longer, and replacing members is easier. Cause in a 3 piece, it's usually two guys who leave and then you're back to square one...haha!

That's just been my experience, but I'm not discouraged...except for the fact that I'm fiending to play again.

We've been holding together for several years now in the key of C.

Communication
Compassion
&
Compromise

Of equal importance has been the key of D.

Dedication
Direction
&
Damn it ... I want to PLAY !!

Reply from CL.... Looking for a bass. Hcgki Shmonedy. I play bass and I would like to join ,I like your music. OK.
Email... but someone stole my amp.. OK. I have extra equipment. Call...
Email.... Can't phones not working ... OK. Just come over, Hcgi. Is that your name?
Email.... No its really Brian, I just got lazy typing....OK ,give it a shot any way.come on over..
Email... Can you pick me up my car is off the road. OK reply from me...

Go stand outside and wait I'll be right over

Reply from CL.... Looking for a bass. Hcgki Shmonedy. I play bass and I would like to join ,I like your music. OK.
Email... but someone stole my amp.. OK. I have extra equipment. Call...
Email.... Can't phones not working ... OK. Just come over, Hcgi. Is that your name?
Email.... No its really Brian, I just got lazy typing....OK ,give it a shot any way.come on over..
Email... Can you pick me up my car is off the road. OK reply from me...

Go stand outside and wait ( in the rain) I'll be right over

We are in the T's now..

Tough love

Training

and

Torture, as in if you miss a show, you are going to get tortured. lol

oh and I forgot one...

If you think you are the hottest thing in the show, you are TRIVIAL and need replaced.

If you don't think the whole shebang isn't a sum of it's parts, you need to go start your solo career and get the F*** out of my face.

Thats compromising Capt.

J,

You got it wrong, man. I am just like everyone else and I hold myself to the same standard.

I am no better/worse than anyone else.

A GOOD BAND IS EQUAL TO THE SUM OF IT'S PARTS and I mean it.

Some of it is my music, but if my head blew up, I'd expect to get replaced.

(Just don't think you are taking my original music with you, oh hell no.) lol

I was just joking Capt. I understood what you meant and it is So true. Thats one of the reasons I am leaving this band I am in right now. They are great musicians and I really got my hopes up with this project. They play the best gigs we are playing every weekend. We are also playing the Isle Of Capri Casino on Sept 4th. They literally drug me over the coals for this spot made me wait 3 months before hiring me. They got to see all about me under pressure and everything. However just as I join I find out the drummer is leaving the Keyboard/rythem guitar player is leaving and I don't get to see squat about their replacements. Meanwhile during that 3 month wait I met some guy's I really hit it off with they just weren't as established as this group WAS (better musicians though) so I turned it down for the more established group. Well shortly after commiting I get to see the NEW BAND and these folks are talented but the two replacements won't learn their parts. I start to find out that now the singer is leaving (head a little SWOLLEN)!
So I said screw this as long as I am starting over at any level I am putting in my notice. I told them I will stay with you guys until you find a replacement for me and get him up and ready to gig!