General Music Chat

I liked it, needs rerecorded but it wasn't awful like I was waiting for.

Still channeling LES CLAYPOOL, I see which is cool.

I think the style is just slightly off, I'd do it just tad more crisp and I'd give a listen to Wynona's Big Brown Beaver. Shave the syllable content down just a little, that that will help with the crispness.

Bass line? Was there one? Hard to hear if there was.

It'd also be nice if you could condense the 2 guitar lines into 1 for simplicity sake.




"Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver
And she shows it off to all her friends.
One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her,
So she caged him up with cyclone fence.
Along came Lou with the old baboon
And said Recognize that smell?
Smells like seven layers,
That beaver eats Taco Bell."

Yes. This should be redone.

Love the lyric, & it has a good rock base.

Just do it.

I like the guitar licks very catchy the kind I will be humming, stuck in my brain. I would use WAY less effects on your voice it makes it hard to understand the lyrics. I think your voice would sound better almost dry. I know it is hard hearing your voice coming back at you, But give it a chance! My opinion for what its worth.

Remember I said REDONE/RERECORDED, not rewritten.

And don't put yourself down, when plenty of people will line up to do it for you.

Chris I think Scott is right about the syllable thing. Vocals are not at all like playing rhythm guitar. You always seem to try and get every word on beat make it fit into a perfect order.
If you were here I could show you what is meant. Every word has its own flavor and importance in a line. This isn't writing a line in an article or a book, this is taking reading out to a different level. Many singers will leave out a word or two if it takes away from main words. OR add.
Pick a simple 5 or 6 word line. Put the metronome on. Try to see how many different ways you can emphasize the same words, in time. Now add in dynamics and pitch and inflection and you can see the same line can be done in many different ways.
I think you keep trying to sing it the way you wrote lyrics, after that is done ,you have to become the musician that interprets the lyrics and some times as the writer you get stuck on the original approach.

The song has merit and you have grown and gotten better, If you have time give it another shot . This was just meant as constructive instruction that I was fortunate to have been taught a long time ago.

Oh here's areal funny post I found on craiglist
Brutal Voc. starting band (west babylon)
Date: 2010-08-12, 2:14AM EDT
Reply to: kuma187@hotmail.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

18 yr old male vocalist looking to start a band or join one i can do pig squeals,growls,and "fry vocals" but i don't sing.
looking for drummer,guitarist,and bassist
looking for musicians around my age or a little older and a sense of humour is a must hehe

* Location: west babylon
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


HE HE HE!

Me likey ...

you know chris i was just trying to give you some ideas to help you be better. if you just want me to blow sunshine your way... thats not going to really help you. if you remember , craig maxim , put up a new tune ,,, everyone was sucking up to him.... i called him out , it was way under rehearsed and he still didn't know the best way interpret the lyrics.
Craig is a major talent , we should be happy that he wants to hang with us here. Craig is not the only one, lot of talent here.
You know what,,,, I'm going to record a verse or two of your song with just guit and vocals live,,,, good song , needs different performance.

I'm really not a jerk, i really know what i'm doing and the last thing i want to do is insult anyone playing music.