#115949 by
ColorsFade
Sun Jun 27, 2010 1:27 am
God your timing is off... That just kills it. Philby suggests you're doing that for effect? If so, lose it. It's a crappy effect. It just makes it sound like you have no sense of timing!
Production-wise: sounds great! Well done.
I give you this: If you want to be an Eddie Van Halen clone, you're getting closer. I mean, if listeners have ears at all and they start listening to that tune, they automatically should be thinking it's something Van Halen wrote. Automatic. So if that's your goal: Win for you dude. Nice job.
I give you an "A" for effort Sean.
I give you a B- for execution (the timing is just too far off).
I give you a D- for songwriting because the composition sounds too much like Van Halen; it's like writing a novel and intentionally utilizing a style that sounds exactly like Stephen King. You gotta find your own voice.
I give you an "A" for sounding like Van Halen though, because I know that was your goal.
I just wish you didn't have such a strong, overflowing desire to be Van Halen. I would like you to have your own voice. But that's part of the learning process of writing; we start by writing songs that sound like our own influences, and then eventually we find our way to our own voice.
But it's cool man. I've been asking to hear something "original" from you for a while and you delivered. Kudos.