Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

I'm a mother of 2 and my world is music. Yea there's a lot of us out there. It is what I want for my future. Of course the issue is what to do? Forfeit my family time to possibly succeed or give up on my dream?

You really can have it all my friend. You just have to make good choices and some compramise as well.
I am a Father and Grandfather. I am not going to claim that I have "made it" as a musician. But then I have just really begun.
I would sacrifce myself and the lives of millions before my children.

NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER GIVE IN !!

Sell your children, you can make more..

Well...I don't like your profile. It has negative connotations about the town you're living in. That's bound to put off lifelong locals, esp when you seem to think that no one in that "god-forsaken" area is any good or as good as what you're used to in St Louis, the "big city." Why are you even bothering?

You have no music posted. Buy a microphone ya cheapo!

As far as parenting vs singing is concerned, I hope your approach to parenting is better than your approach to finding ppl to work with.

It can be done, but you'll really need to get a better attitude about life in general.

Absolutely NOTHING I've seen or heard from you thus far seems to point in the direction of "excellence," in fact, you seem to be quite the opposite, either with too much baggage or just a crappy attitude. There's nothing there at all that makes me wanna know anything more about you.

Erase it all & start over, or expect to be sitting on your butt as it gets wider as you age without ever reaching any of your dreams.

#1 - get over your damned self.

#2 - put up some music to show off some of that "excellence"

#3 - try a more humble approach cuz this one makes me wanna vomit atcha

#4 - invest in yourself...get a mic, or even a small PA, to show ppl that you are serious

#5 - try to show your kids that life is good, & that other ppl always have some sort of worth, & that neither you nor they are all that, & show them that investment in their dreams works BY EXAMPLE

#6 - change yer nic

#7 - if & when you DO meet ppl to work with - quitcher bitchin' before you even get started or you'll ruin it before you even start


Good luck & welcome to the forum.

Hey, Ex . . .
This forum is a tough place, and it's because there are a lot of posers here . . .
What you might want to do is say a little something about yourself, what you've accomplished, and what (specifically) you want to accomplish.
.
Have a goal in music is ok. But in order to reach any goal, you need a strategy of sorts.
.
We all need to make specific plans to reach specific goals.
Try writing your plan down.
If you can't write a plan onto a piece of paper, then you don't have a plan.
No plan = no direction.
.
Alan
So - what are your top 2 goals in music?

wowo, that was both barrels, hmm?

I have to agree with Philby...

Never talk yourself up without proof. I wouldn't have even joined this site and made a profile page if I didn't have music to showcase.

I also agree that you should probably change your nickname... Being humble will get you farther than having a ego.

And last but not least.... music is THE SINGLE MOST DIFFICULT INDUSTRY TO "MAKE IT" IN. It's easier to be on a TV show these days with reality TV the way it is. Nothing will be handed to you so you have to work EVERYDAY to market yourself and/or band. And one of the best ways to tell people about your music is to tour. Something that will be hard to do if you have kids at home.

I'd say make music because you love it, but take care of the kids first. If the music takes you somewhere then groovy man!

Good luck!

Philby was harsh but honest and it seems like you need some o both!
let music and your children both be a part of you. make them both part of your life throughout the day.
Life is art, art is life!
"WE ARE ALL ONE"

www.myspace.com/blunderingeye
www.myspace.com/445175001
http://ezfolk.com/audio/bands/6039/

"thems that knows me knows better, thems that dont, dont matter"

I love kids with bar-b-q sauce and fresh corn on the cob.. lol

Look, I know I often come across as some sort of asshole, but, seriously, lady - step outside of yourself for a minute, look at the following, & perhaps I can explain it in better, friendlier-sounding terms.

The 1st thing I noticed on your profile was "no audio available," right there at the top of your page, where it belongs. That's a red flag, for sure, but I gave you a chance & read on, thinking that maybe, since you just joined up, that it was pending, to be up in a day or two.

Next, I saw that you're "just" a singer. That tells me that you may not understand a lot about music, you can't contribute in any way other than vocal. That limits you a bit, quite frankly, so your voice best be damned good - but I have no way of knowing that, do I?

After that I saw your age, so I though maybe you'd be pretty on a stage & attract ppl, but there's no pics.

Then there was this lil gem that I simply must quote -

"I am probably the only person you will ever work with who can work a stage in this god forsaken city because I am originally from the St Louis metro area home of Nothing Still and Our First Summer"

Are you a stripper or a singer? How you gonna know how to work a stage with less than 10 gigs' experience?

Gee...you don't like the area, you think the locals are lesser quality performers than those you've left behind. Add to that the two bands you've listed. Were you IN either of them? Evidently not, from the text of your profile. In fact, you don't make mention of ANY ACTUAL EXPERIENCE at all, other than saying that you have "under 10" gigs under your belt. Doesn't tend to give me any confidence in you, but at least I'm hoping you're being honest & have a couple, anyway. But, if you're so "excellent," I would think that ppl would be clamoring to have you back on stage...so why less than 10 gigs?

So, I look under your "influences" & see "Pat Benetar, Ozzy, Rob Zombie, Pink, Brandy, Broadway musicals, and all of the late 90's angry chick singers and no I'm not kidding."

Well, you might be angry enough, & you might have "tude" but you have no experience...okay...howzabout equipment?

"I have my voice and that's all I carry with me. Besides its my instrument."

WRONG!!!! The combination of the mic & your voice is your instrument, just as the pickup's are such a big part of a guitarist's instrument. Do you know which type of mic you prefer? Not with this kind of experience. Can you use the dynamics of the mic? Do you know what that question means? When you get feedback, will you tend to cover the mic with your hand like a dumb amateur, or back away from it like a pro?

Ppl tend to think that what we do as musicians requires little real skill, that any idiot off the street can do it. That pisses me off, & if you were ever to audition for me, I'd give you lessons that would show you how little you know, in about 3 minutes' time as you "auditioned."

From what your profile indicates, when combined with the difficulties of being a performing mother of two, I'd have to say "I'll pass," no matter how great your voice might be at your local karaoke club.

A side note - when I moved here to WV, I expected far less than I found, when it comes to good musicians. I met MORE here than I did back in Annapolis, MD, without even trying hard. Oh, I kidded around about suffering from a "lack of culture shock," but you know what? These out-lying areas are where the artists go to write, to paint, to make their stained glass. They go to the city to sell their wares, but they would rather live in the outskirts more than in the rat race.

Don't be so quick to put down anyone, esp when the ground you stand upon is so frikken shaky.

You need to be HUMBLY asking for advice on how to break into music. You need to back off on the overblown "excellent" self-assessments, because we pros are not so easily fooled by you upstarts. We've been there, done that, gotten & SOLD the frikken t-shirts & MADE GOOD MONEY DOIN' IT.

Now, since I'm in such a giving mood - here's some advice you CAN use.

Get some experience. Keep going to the karaoke bars, but also go to open mics. Meet as many real musicians as you can. Go to music stores & ask for voice lessons - don't be so proud as to think they won't help or that you don't need them. Buy yourself a small PA & a Shure SM58 (that's a microphone, which is sorta the industry standard for band work) & practice using it at various levels. Experiment on the different sounds you get using it at varying distances & angles to your face, with various amounts of your power. Record yourself in any way possible to assess how good you are, REALLY, in your own mind, then approach others with your enhanced abilities. WORK at it, cuz it's WORK. Talent will only take you so far. DEVELOPED talent will take you farther. Listen to the ppl who don't know you, who are kind enough to give you HONEST feedback. They'll be far better for your development than your friends & relatives. Do NOT neglect your role as mother while you do all the above, cuz frankly, you're getting a rather late start on a musical career, & your family needs you more than you need the musical career, & the musical world doesn't need you at all. Keep that in mind at all times. There are a gazillion great performers out there who will never "make it." Todays' music world has a glut of the best performers, more than at any time in the history of mankind. No one needs you but your kids & your man, if you have one. You wanna try? TRY! But do it right, with the right attitude, & the knowledge that NO ONE is necessary in the world of music. NO ONE. No matter how good you get, there'll be hundreds if not thousands that can do it better, & quite a few of them will live within a 20 mile radius of anywhere you decide to live in the civilized world.

Philby, as I read that, I imagined you had her up against the ropes and she was way behind in the points.

Pounding away at her in the 12th round and she was up, barely until 40-50 blows to the midsection later when she coughed up her left lung and you hit her again. (the ref cautions you not to hold and hit)

I was smoking a cigarette at ring side and when you looked up, someone gave her the THUMBS DOWN and you hit her so hard, she coughed out a tooth.

It was then I noticed that her blood had squirted out onto my cigarette and corn dog, so I ate the corn dog and put out my butt on her head.

I left her "the stick" to console her during her 1st MMA mixed match loss. LOL

ROFL this thread is pure lulz.

Phil's on a tear.

And he's probably right.

Phil, perhaps you could kick my butt too so I will work a little harder to be a good guitar player.

You know I am a crank, but I like Philbys' philosophy! (load, aim + fire)

Break it down for all the people who don't understand English without a stick to force feed them single syllables!

Officially I endorse Philby for political office..

"He's here to kick ass, chew gum and he doesn't like Juicy Fruits but he might Spear Mint". LOL

if ya cant take the heat... oh yeah baby, your in the oven now!

www.myspace.com/blunderingeye
www.myspace.com/445175001
http://ezfolk.com/audio/bands/6039/

"thems that knows me knows better, thems that dont, dont matter"