Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

OK, male musicians. Do musicians and girlfriends mix? I get tired of fighting with my gf because of my music. Granted, I am in three bands and she probably feels I neglect her. Tonight my bass player asked if we could switch our practice from Thursday to tonight. Being an idiot I didn't check with her first and accepted. I didn't have this much drama when I was married, so the question is - should our guitars be our girlfriends?

Let me put it this way. When I was married, my wife once asked me, "If you had to make a choice between your guitar and me, what would it be?". So I told her, "My guitar would never make me make that choice so, whoever DOES make me make that choice will lose." She never brought it up again.

jimmydanger wrote:OK, male musicians. Do musicians and girlfriends mix? I get tired of fighting with my gf because of my music. Granted, I am in three bands and she probably feels I neglect her. Tonight my bass player asked if we could switch our practice from Thursday to tonight. Being an idiot I didn't check with her first and accepted. I didn't have this much drama when I was married, so the question is - should our guitars be our girlfriends?

Haha, only 3 bands? I'm surprised you didn't learn from your first marriage about time-management and those relationship expectations that begin to appear as implied vows ^.^

It sounds to me like your primary interest is music (not wrong of course), which won't work in a relationship where the other's primary interest is a relationship! There's not much of a difference between a marriage and a girlfriend relationship when you boil it all down - you've got two person's interests and if one's interest is you, and your interest is elsewhere, you're gonna have friction. She doesn't throw dishes does she?

She'll probably dump you soon enough so i wouldn't worry about it. When she does, try to find a girlfriend that doesn't mind being a weekend hobby ^.^

-- intending to be satirical & realistic - not abrasive --
regards,
Chris

Thanks Chris, apparently I've already been dumped, she won't answer her phone. BTW, I am in three bands but each only rehearses once a week. That's three nights. But I guess your right; either I cut back or go stag.

jimmydanger wrote:Thanks Chris, apparently I've already been dumped, she won't answer her phone. BTW, I am in three bands but each only rehearses once a week. That's three nights. But I guess your right; either I cut back or go stag.

or find a g/f who understands music is a huge part of your life and she's welcome to come along for the ride, but set realistic expections at the outset. ^.^

g/l
Chris

Enjoy your music and find yourself a Lady.
Girls are too inmature and selfish for any kind of real relationship.

I've said this before and I'll say it again...there's certain things a man has to do...need I say more?

..should our guitars be our girlfriends?

Wow! wouldn't that be nice. If they'd just put-out and be warm and soft.. but alas.. they're wood.. We're wood, they're velvet.. cant live with/cant live.. well, U know the rest..

Women! Can't live with 'em, can't cut 'em up and sell 'em for parts!

Chris4Blues wrote:

jimmydanger wrote:Thanks Chris, apparently I've already been dumped, she won't answer her phone. BTW, I am in three bands but each only rehearses once a week. That's three nights. But I guess your right; either I cut back or go stag.

or find a g/f who understands music is a huge part of your life and she's welcome to come along for the ride, but set realistic expections at the outset. ^.^

g/l
Chris

Very true Jimmy. Sorry to hear about your girl. I think it is a struggle for all musicians, men and women, because music demands so much of our focus and attention as performing artists. We put so much of ourselves into every note that we play, and sometimes there's not much left to give to anyone else. Sorry to go so deep , but I found that to be true in my life.

I was lucky enough to marry a vocalist/dancer, so she gets it, and she comes with me to most of my live gigs. She understands that after a long studio session, or a rough live gig, I'm going to be spent! Even still, sometimes it gets old for her too. In part, this is why I'm mainly doing studio stuff. I'll do occasional one-off gigs for artists that I've recorded for, but I'm not in a band. This arrangement works for me, and I'm confident that you'll find what works for you, and it will work with all of your relationships as well.

ratsass wrote:Women! Can't live with 'em, can't cut 'em up and sell 'em for parts!

Why not?!?!

PocketGroovesGSO wrote:

ratsass wrote:Women! Can't live with 'em, can't cut 'em up and sell 'em for parts!

Why not?!?!

Not much demand for "used" woman parts, I guess.

Just try and find some these days that aint used.

I must be the only male musician that has a girlfriend that tells me, " go follow your dreams". Go hit the road. Maybe she is trying to tell me something.

The one in the relationship who cares the least usually has the most control, cuz they have the least to lose.

That being said - when you're driven to do a thing, no matter what it may be, your significant other had best be prepared for that, & either accept it or move on, lest you both be miserable for the duration.

Musicians aren't the only ones with these problems. Look at the statistics of divorce in police work, psychoanalysts, baseball players & other sports dudes, politics, doctors, etc etc etc. When a man is driven to do a thing, he needs to find a woman who can deal with it, or go it alone. It happens to guys who like to fish, too, right bob?