Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

Greetings,

This is my first post here.

Recently, I had a cover group contact me to play lead guitar. Their set list looked good, and we traded a few messages back and forth. I called the guy back on his phone and we talked a bit. It sounded like the situation would be pretty good. He asked if I could get together that Saturday, but I had recently cut my fretting-hand forefinger, so I asked if we could put it off one week. A week later (last Monday) he sends a message asking if I could get together on Saturday, so I accepted. On Friday I sent a message (he didn't seem happy about my calling his phone) asking about the schedule for Saturday, and he never responded.

So I spent a good number of hours learning the songs I didn't know, but I was very irritated to blow the best Saturday in my locale for 4 or 5 months in anticipation of an audition. The hours learning music were well sent, but the day cooling my heels was an insult.

So, to the root of the matter: how does one handle these situations? How can one sort the wheat from the chaff?

JW

Well, in their eyes, you may have appeared to be the chaff when you put them off in the 1st place.

You know you weren't, & I suspect you weren't, but that's how it looks sometimes when ppl are 1st trying to get together.

The only advice I can give you is this - make the audition at their earliest convenience, cuz if you can't, you'll look bad, no matter what, more often than not, just as if you were interviewing for any other job. When you're talking to potential bandmates, listen very carefully for any inside troubles between members, cuz you don't need to step into other ppl's ongoing arguments (I've done this & it's a bad mistake). If THEY are the ones cancelling things at the last second, be wary of them, but give them an extra chance if it seems warranted.

The time spent learning their set wasn't wasted, cuz it made you keep your chops up, you learned new stuff you can use elsewhere, & you had some hope for a little while. Sometimes that's all we have to get us through the droughts in life...

When I didn't get a response to the email, I would have called anyway, cuz his 'puter might have crashed, or he didn't have time to check it out that day. Calling would have shown that you were truly expecting to get together. Don't put too many thoughts into your interactions w/ppl. You got the impression that he didn't like you calling, but he may have simply been distracted from something he was involved with at the moment (like ongoing 'puter prob's?), & you misread him.

Good luck with your search.

Thanks for your reply philbymon. Your statement about it looking like I was the chaff is not at all over my head. I thought about that, too. I've been around long enough to know that my stuff stinks, like anybody else. Things don't happen in a vacuum, and I am part of the equation.

Their/his first query for audition was on a Wednesday for Saturday, and yeah, I had a cut on my finger. I even took a picture of the cut and posted it on one of my servers, sending him the link. After checking the logs, no one had looked at it. As to calling him, he actually told me he didn't like answering his business phone for after-hours stuff, so what to do...what to do.

I agree with you: the time I spent working on the songs was worthwhile, for sure.

JW

I had a similar situation just earlier this year. A guy contacted me about playing with a new band they were working on. It was an Eagles Tribute band and four guys had been working on this for about 8 months. They had a drummer (he's the one that contacted me), a bass player that sang, a keyboard play/acoustic guitarist that sang (the really high stuff), and an electric rhythm and lead player that sang. Most of them knew of me and had seen me play live so it wasn't a blind audition. They caught me at a little bit of a bad time as I had just started the remodel on my studio and everything was out of place, and I wasn't really looking to get in a band at that time, but it seemed like a good deal so I agreed. They had been rehearsing in the drummers living room, having to rearrange furniture before and after each practice, so I set up a practice area in my studio. They could only practice on Sundays because of their day jobs, so Sunday it was. We had a couple of good practices, but then I came down with a bug and called them earlier in the week to let them know that if I wasn't over it by Sunday, I wouldn't want to practice and take a chance on them catching it. They understood and by Saturday I was still pretty sick so I called them and told them and they said it was fine and we'd make it the next Sunday. Well, the next Saturday the guitarist called me and said they had split up because of differences between the bassist and the drummer. I couldn't help but feel that somehow my cancelling had had something to do with it. On looking back on the whole thing I realized that, though they were really good musicians, they had been working on this for 8 months and only had about 12 songs down. It made me see that, evidently something else was going on because anybody else I've ever played with that was anywhere near their caliber would have learned that many songs in two weeks. I figure it was just as well that I didn't lose much time over the whole ordeal and I had learned some new material. Maybe it's better for you that it happened early on too.

Thanks, ratsass.

Joewilk, it sounds to me the guy might be a little flackey calling you with short notice expecting you to audition with an injured finger thus delaying your recovery time from the injury and then bitching about having to answer the phone to many red flags for me. When talking with potential bandmates you really have to read between the lines when they are talking you can save yourself a lot of wasted time, also an audition goes both ways it is not just you auditioning for them it is also them auditioning for you. You have to decide if these are people you want to invest a lot of your very valuable time with. An example of reading between the lines with all do respect Ratsass, if you talk to them ask them how long they have been together then ask for a copy of their setlist if they have been together 8 months and only have 12 songs there is a problem. Don't be afraid to ask questions how long have you guy's been together where do ya'll practice? how many time a month do you want to play out (gigging) how many people are in the band? what do ya'll expect from me (lead vocals, hamony vocals) how much money will I make from gig's? how do you split the gig proceeds? what are your long term goals? There are all kinds of things you need to know before you join a band on the other hand don't be insulted if they ask you these same questions.
Most of all be patient when looking for a band because you are going to go thru a lot of crap before you find the band that you really want to play with and vise versa

I would have showed up with super glue on my finger and bled all over his floor!
Dont let an initial missunderstanding set you off your game.
Put fourth the effort to resolve the situation, and if that dont work....MOVE ON!

J-HALEY wrote:Joewilk, it sounds to me the guy might be a little flackey calling you with short notice expecting you to audition with an injured finger thus delaying your recovery time from the injury and then bitching about having to answer the phone to many red flags for me. When talking with potential bandmates you really have to read between the lines when they are talking you can save yourself a lot of wasted time, also an audition goes both ways it is not just you auditioning for them it is also them auditioning for you. You have to decide if these are people you want to invest a lot of your very valuable time with.
...
Don't be afraid to ask questions how long have you guy's been together where do ya'll practice? how many time a month do you want to play out (gigging) how many people are in the band? what do ya'll expect from me (lead vocals, hamony vocals) how much money will I make from gig's? how do you split the gig proceeds? what are your long term goals? There are all kinds of things you need to know before you join a band on the other hand don't be insulted if they ask you these same questions.
Most of all be patient when looking for a band because you are going to go thru a lot of crap before you find the band that you really want to play with and vise versa

Indeed. Sage advice, and thank you.

sanshouheil wrote:I would have showed up with super glue on my finger and bled all over his floor!

Thanks for answering. I thought about that route. I have plenty o' glue, and would have used it for a gig.

Best reguards. Hope all works out 4 you.

J-HALEY wrote:An example of reading between the lines with all do respect Ratsass, if you talk to them ask them how long they have been together then ask for a copy of their setlist if they have been together 8 months and only have 12 songs there is a problem.

Oh, they had about a 40 song setlist. They also had an impressive looking site just for the band (the bassist did computer programming for a living). They also had friends that worked at a couple of different casinos just over in Oklahoma that could get us in when we were ready. Everything looked good up front. I didn't realize until the second rehearsal (the first one I chalked up to my not knowing many Eagles tunes), that they didn't know those 40 songs. Just like marriage, it doesn't matter how long ya date, you don't really know 'em until you're commited.

ratsass wrote:...Just like marriage, it doesn't matter how long ya date, you don't really know 'em until you're commited.

That's when the real "give and take" takes place, eh?

My thoughts:

(1) Never assume the worst in other people, but always be mindful that they might think of you that way.

If a mix up in communication happens, I always assume the person didn't intentionally diss me; they just lost power to their computer; their cell phone battery gave out; they were in a car wreck; they forgot to pay their phone bill; whatever. This makes it way easier to deal with the person when one of these things really IS the cause of the problem, because then your personal impression of the person is still good.

(2) If there is a mix up in communication, resolve it as fast as possible. Be honest. If you think the guy was unhappy about you calling him and work but you don't know for sure, ask him and find out FOR SURE. It's really important to get boundaries established as soon as possible. He might have very legitimate reasons for not wanting to discuss band stuff on a work phone.

(3) Whatever you do, don't just walk away without any answers. Call them back; get clarity. Get closure. Or better yet, get another audition time scheduled.

Our band has been together 15 months now and we STILL have communication issues. Just last week, my drummer was on vacation in Hawaii. Before he left he emailed me and said he could practice on Wed or Thur when he got back, and Sat/Sun. I e-mailed back that I thought Wednesday would work best, followed by Saturday. I never heard back from him, so I just assumed that was good. I contacted the rest of the band a few days ahead of schedule to make sure everyone would be there on Wednesday.

I finally got an e-mail from our drummer asking if we were still ready to go for THURSDAY! I was like, "Dude, we scheduled Wednesday!"

That small mix-up occurred because there wasn't any confirmation of the communication that took place.

Communication takes work. It takes persistence. It takes repetition to make sure everyone is on the same page.

Don't underestimate people's inability to understand what you're telling them. Always get confirmation.

I agree with just about everything here but this one stuck out and it's totally true.

ColorsFade wrote:(3) Whatever you do, don't just walk away without any answers. Call them back; get clarity. Get closure.

joe - dude you got some sweet chops! Great tones. Wish you were closer.

You're in my old stompin' grounds, too. I moved here from Annapolis in '84, & I graduated from Severna Park, back in '73.

Nice profile, esp the equipment page - "Picks, too" LMAO

Juggernaut is pretty sweet. But man there are lots of us old farts on here!
Who said jammin is for yougsters?