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When I was younger, My brother, My cousin, my childhood friend and I used to raise hell in th neighborhood.... what a blast we used to have!

My brother got killed in a bar fight in 1980

My cousin died of cancer a few years ago

My childhood frind just died this morning from a brain tumor

I'm the last one .... I was the drug addict.... I was the careless one on the motorcycle... I was the wise ass.... I was supposed to be the first to go...

I feel quite guilty at the moment....

Dont feel guilty about surviving. After all it is what we are supposed to do.
We are at that age crip. I have lost dear friends this year as well. Those brothers of a different mother we all tend to collect over the years.
Savor their memories. That is what made them special afterall.

I lost my mother and a brother to cancer, they we're both extremely young (one 40 and the other 43) when it took them.

Oddly enough, I too, was the druggie loser black sheep of the family (5 kids total), and it turns out I'm the only one who even remotely has my crap together as a middle aged adult, still on my first marriage and not an alcoholic.

Got nothing to do with age, George, but yea. Sorry to hear that, bro. Maybe it's time to play a sad instrumental for your fallen friend?

Doh, I had misread that sentence about your childhood friend crip...

this morning ?!? gah. That just sucks.

All I can say is that throughout our lives, so many people come and go, but your friend, was a friend til the end. That's a rare thing in this world and I'm sincerely sorry dude.

Here's a little snippet I've got of him:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea ... d=44244248

Crip
this sort of thing leaves me at a loss for words

best for us to just keep on rockin'

heres something to look at, most of us have been there


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBbuPnfG0Vo

You live & remember them, & they remain alive in you & through you.

Crip2Nite wrote:When I was younger, My brother, My cousin, my childhood friend and I used to raise hell in th neighborhood.... what a blast we used to have!

My brother got killed in a bar fight in 1980

My cousin died of cancer a few years ago

My childhood frind just died this morning from a brain tumor

I'm the last one .... I was the drug addict.... I was the careless one on the motorcycle... I was the wise ass.... I was supposed to be the first to go...

I feel quite guilty at the moment....

I watched your departed friend's performance of "Black Bird" quite a talented musician, you are lucky to have known him.
Sorry for your loss but your guilt is misplaced none of us has any control on what fate has in store for us.

I wrote a tune a while back with the following lyrics, they seem appropriate in this circumstance.

"People and places- seasons and ages
I know I loved them all
What I can remember
Allows me to carry on.

Carry on Crip.

I lost a really good friend to cancer a few years ago, he died at 34. He drank moderately, was a vegetarian and heavy into proper nutrition, had quit smoking for three years (smoked half as much as I do, when he was), worked out religiously three times a week, was ready to go for a black belt examine in some Kan Karate (I forget the name, it’s freestyle very much like Jeet Kune Do).

I smoke two packs a day (three or more if drinking), climb a flight of stairs maybe six times a day. Drink a pot of coffee a day. When I do get out it’s nothing but finer cuisine like Burger King or McDonalds. I’m overweight by another small person or two. I don’t drink often, but when I do it’s usually well into the next morning before I stop and only because I hate drinking alone.

We used to joke about because it really doesn’t make any sense at all. If there was any inherent justice in the universe, I should have been the one with the cancer. Everyone thought he would have a lot more time, but he died five months after he was diagnosed. It was already at an advanced stage when it was discovered and the only indication he had was a numb jaw at the time. When it moved to his brain, he used to call me in the middle of the night, begging for me to kill him, because of the intense pain.

I felt really guilty for a while, leading the lifestyle I do without consequences. But I don’t anymore, in fact I’m worse then I have ever been. I’m convinced at this stage nothing will make me consider conserving my existence, instead I’m fully intent on spending it with gusto. I know how the bad alternate ending goes.

The point that life goes on doesn’t mean tenderly while walking on eggshells. I could be conservative and responsible, thanking/blaming any restraint with my guilt in the memory of my dead friend. Or be the person I still am and eventually realize that those traits (regardless of their merits, or lack of) are the very reasons we were friends to begin with.

Don’t feel guilty about being who you are. There is no lesson that can be learned that will justify the loss, no matter how hard you search. Believe me, I find myself still looking on occasion. My condolences Crypt.

Sorry for your pain today crip. Glad you leaned on us. Prayers offered up on your behalf.

Hey Crip, sorry to hear about your friend, I lost a good friend to a brain tumor 1 year ago last Fathers day, I went to see him 1 week before he passed away, he was our keyboard player and one heck of a good guy.
Man I sure miss Him!

Thanx guys..... I'm having trouble here figuring out where the wake is being held and when the funeral is? The girl that informed me of his departure never left a number and my caller id was erased... she was an ex,ex,ex,ex,ex,ex,etc... girlfriend... I'll figure it out when I get home...

I like the idea of a wake. Been to a few that were, well, fun.
Its a good way to send off someone who really enjoyed life.
I would prefer that to a traditionl western type of funeral for myself.
The band plays rock. My kung Fu bretheren break out in a fight. Gun fire in the air. Every one gets sloshed and talks about what an ass I was.
Yea man!